Dissatisfied lovers

You are everywhere.

You sleep rough.

You toss and turn.

The smallest jolt in a car can turn into a private silent moment because no one is making you make the loud noises in your bedroom.

Unfortunately there are more of you then there should be and you are NOT happy.

You get pissed off when you see it in front of you, thinking, “why the fuck am I not getting that?”

Sometimes you think to yourself, “how is this NOT making sense?”

You are the dissatisfied lover.

You are suffering regular BAD attempts at turning you on and making you come.

You speak out time and time again but nothing ever changes.

He keeps on treating your clit like it’s a magic lamp and he’s trying to get the Genie out that mofo.

She still thinks that that rough handed, kung fu grip thing she does when she’s working her DRY hand is cute. (She’s confusing your pain frown for a pleasurable grimace. It’s not so sweety.)

I don’t really think I need to explain the definition of someone who is ‘dissatisfied’. It’s pretty self-explanatory. You know whether or not you are getting the treatment you should be getting. Your libido knows even before any touching goes on whether or not this motherfucker is gonna fail you again!

They piss you off so regularly that you expect nothing less. You don’t question WHY you keep returning to this poor excuse for a lover… maybe you can’t be bothered to build up a rapport with a new someone, maybe you feel you can FIX this one, maybe it’s easier to just suck it up and take what you can get, who knows.

You don’t… ‘cuz your STILL vex, your STILL not getting that scratch itched and your STLL sitting with yourself afterwards asking yourself, ‘why am I fucking you?’

Dissatisfied people live in every corner of the earth, There is someone reading this right now who wishes she could have a nice stiff one in her with the knowledge of how to work it the right way. Or a guy getting some nice, appropriate special attention on his gentlemen just because you wanted to.

For those of us who KNOW how to put it down the RIGHT way or are getting seen to the RIGHT way, you kinda feel like you wanna fuck ’em just to make them see:

  1. What it’s like to REALLY blackout and not know where 5 hours went
  2. Give ’em a lil something to, ya know, moisten the palette


You can tell you have a dissatisfied lover in your embrace when you do something to them that, to you, is quite regular and a part of the normal service you provide everytime you make a delivery between the sheets. You could be holding their thighs in that way that you do, doing that thang that you do when all of a sudden she up and screams at you like a white lady walking into the wrong room in a horror film.


You’ve been there… ladies, it may have been a time when you’ve unleashed, what you consider to be standard head, or that hip flick thing you do, and he sounds like he’s being massacred.

That means that the receiving person isn’t used to moves like that because the last diner at the restaurant didn’t know how to EAT the meal properly.

They used the dessert fork for foreplay, had their elbows on the table during intercourse and thought the salad fork was appropriate for oral sex.

A scary thought about being a dissatisfied lover or a person dissatisfied with their sex life is that there are lots of you living day-to-day lives with partners who think that they are doing you the way you need to be done.

But you ain’t saying nathan.

You’re reason are your own but you are happy to suffer the PlayStation thumb session they call foreplay or the uncomfortable way she tries to match your groove but manages to fuck it up and make your hip bones knock. Then you don’t get in properly and it just feels all uncomfortable and you just wanna swap position to get out of the annoying position she is happy to stay in,


Sorry, private moment…

But you know what I mean.

If you looked at your sexual career, you would probably see that you let a lot of weak loving come your way and even repeat on ya and, I’m sorry, but the days of accepting shoody loving, for whatever reason, are gone.

Done. Finished. Finnito. Exit stage right.

Put those days in an envelope and send them to GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!

It’s 2011…

If you ain’t eating the pussy then for fuck sake, eat that pussy. What are you scared of?

I can hear someone actually saying, ‘I ain’t scared, I just don’t do them things there.’

But even in saying that, you MUST be a little scared of it if you ain’t willing to put your mouth on it. Yeah you’re willing to stick it… you even beg to stick it skin-to-skin cuz it feels better.

Well eating pussy is just the same… it feels better when you put some REAL contact on it…

I can see this turning into a rant about eating pussy and I’ve already done that but NOT eating pussy is one way to leave your lover all types of pissed and vex. Especially if:

  1. Her friend gets it regularly and tells her about it all the time
  2. You did it once and haven’t been back to the Town since
  3. Her ex-lover/man/fuck buddy/booty call used to do it to within an inch of her life and, though you may have some good dick, it doesn’t gloss over the feeling of a wet tongue attempting to reach the hilt of you.


The only way to make sure your partner is satisfied is to make sure that you are covering all bases when you are taking them to the tip of titillation.

That means full versions of everything in your arsenal and THEN some…

So there needs to be:

  • full PRE-foreplay
  • major foreplay
  • head that makes your partner’s feet move all around like they have no control of themselves or their body movements
  • intercourse in a bevy of positions, each one making her come accordingly


REALLY, you should’ve been doing that in the first place, and if you were, then you wouldn’t be reading this blog taking notes, lol.


And the final, BIGGEST aspect of being dissatisfied with the sex your partner gives you is the aftermath.

You won’t see it between the sheets, you may catch a random look after you’ve come that says, ‘thank GOD, now I can wash the plates’ but you won’t get the full impact of the BACKLASH you are about to receive as a result of not handling yo biznass.

Here’s a few random scenarios you may have encountered but never known why. Unfortunately I’m going to use examples for men because, well, it’s more common for a woman to be unsatisfied than a man.

(NOTE: throughout this post, I’ve referred to both men and women as the victims and culprits of the poor service that we all suffer during sex, but we all know that it’s women who are the majority of victims of this senseless crime against libidos everywhere.)

So, fellas, here’s a few thangs to watch out for that could be possible manifestations of your poor workmanship on her clit…

  • You give her a call, maybe just a random hello or a planned phone call. And she answers the phone with INSTANT hostility. Her voice is cold, you can HEAR beef in the way she speaks and, classically, when you ask her what’s wrong, she says… “NOTHING, I’m fine!” She is NOT fine. Your display from last night has pissed her right off.
  • You are both sitting down, watching something random. (Usually a good time to start something.) You realise the film your watching has a quite emotional sex scene in it and you get the wheels of your arousal running. But you get a very stoic, “nah, I’m alright” like you just offered her a room-temperature cold drink. Then she lifts your hand up and away from between her thighs like you are trying to give her a contagious disease.
  • The next time you two find yourself in bed and you get some sub-standard handjob, it just might be payback.
  • OR your eating dinner and she mumbles under her breath, “Oh yeah, you can eat from THAT plate can’t you?”


Dissatisfied lovers turn into dissatisfied people who turn into angry people who decide not to give you any, and they may take out their frustrations on you in other ways and can generally make your life a living hell. While you’re just going along thinking your still the hand that fits perfectly into that glove.

But it’s not so Joe.

You best improve that flow.

Before she calls Tyrone.

And you KNOW Tyrone knows.

By Mr Oh

Leave a comment

Filed under Oh stuff...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s