Now we’re talking… this is one of my favourite subjects in the world of sex.
It’s the warmest one too.
Intimacy is an every day thing. If you can get it.
It fills the moments when your not bumping uglies with ya partner… or ya partner of right now.
There’s less fun talking about it and more fun getting it into your system. And when you have someone who loves and is well practiced in the art of being intimate, you, the receiver, should have nothing but fluffy clouds and sweet sounding neo-soul instrumentals floating about your environment because it feels THAT good to ya soul.
That’s IF you’re getting it right.
Someone reading this right now thinks intimacy is just related to getting naked and getting your hands and fingers wrapped around something or slipped INTO something. Or even coming.
To me, that’s not the basis of intimacy.
Your hands, your eyes and your intentions ARE.
You see, to be intimate with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to take your clothes off. Rookies think this but, as the seasoned lover that you are, you have knowledge of and have experienced different types of intimacy, be it in a restaurant, a concert, at home, playing a game together, having a conversation, etc.
The intimacy I’m referring to is about reflecting on and appreciating the little things that we do for each other for arousal, not just wham, bam, don’t shoot it in my hair ma’am.
Let me paint a picture and stroke on some intimate moments with some characters from Little Black Book Volume 2.
“Laying next to each other fully dressed and tired, Russell and Tatiana stared at each other, listening to each other breathe. Their eyes dropped to each other’s lips, waiting for the other to reach out for the kiss but neither did.
With their fingers interlocked, Russell stroked three loose dreadlocks from her face so he could see her sultry smile.
With her free hand, she stroked the side of his high-cheekbone face. Taking in his contours and valleys, slipping her index finger across his lips and into his dimples.
Hooking her hair behind her ears, Russell spread his fingers across her neck and pulled her towards him. He licked his lips as she did the same and their first kiss registered in both their libidos.
The kiss was as soft as their lips, filled with boiling passion and calm all at the same time.
She sighed in the kiss as he did the same with his hands cupping her face. ”
Something as simple as being close to someone, clothed or not, can be intimate. Dinner in a small restaurant can be intimate, a concert in a small venue where the artist is standing right in front of you can be intimate.
Intimate is about being close.
Closer than close… (*SINGS* closer than you ever can imagine us…)
It’s funny to think that a lot of people out there today are fucking but are not being intimate. Can that even happen?
Yeah it can.
Like, after you’ve come (ladies, I pray you’re coming) you feel like you’ve just been at work. No frills, no spills, just bang, buss then bed time.
Like you’ve been asked to do a favour that you didn’t want to do but you were obligated to.
Not to say that the sex isn’t good but there’s no closeness involved….
You been there?!
Sucks doesn’t it?
The first thing to remember about being intimate is that you actually have to LIKE the person you are about to be intimate with. Sounds basic but there are a few people out there who are not getting or giving the intimate treatment, yet they are capable of it, because they just can’t STAND that motherfucker.
That prick makes you sick sometimes.
Why would you give that annoying person the intimacy you feel they DON’T deserve?
The next thing to remember about intimacy is the little things. The small, teeny, tiny, minute things that make him or her jump outta their skin with just a single stroke or touch. A lone finger brushing stray strands of hair out of your face. Two hands tracing from your shoulders, down your chest and into a hug. A strong hand on the small of your back… not just on your ass.
And intimacy is DEFINATELY about eye-contact.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy….
Eye conact…. I dunno ’bout you, but I LOVE me some eye contact.
One-on-one, we’re both naked enough and close enough to be rocking the boat like Aaliyah said, but there is more going on between out eyes than our bodies.
Come on now, you intimates know what I’m talking about.
Let’s say you are standing in front of someone with really nice eyes and you are looking at them and there seems to be a big old conversation going on but there are no words being said.
Just pure, no ramping, eye flirting.
I know there are people out there who have engaged in some major eye flirting to the point where you have risen or found yourself getting majorly moist.
Intimacy uses more than just your body and, to be honest, its sometimes more enjoyable than the slip in, humpty dumpty part of sex.
Disagree, agree, have something to say but me personally, there is a lot more to be found and read in a person when you are being intimate with them. You find out more things that matter as opposed to things that are fleeting like how does your partner sound when they are coming… or how good, tight and wet the pussy is.
Intimacy is about honesty…
How you can be real enough with the person your with to be the REAL you. If your one of those women, and I’ve found that there are a few, who like to eat their partner’s hair, that’s a level of real comfort (SHABBA) that some never reach . Not on some pick it out and munch it like a midnight snack but you sometimes feel a little pinch on your scalp when their mouth is there. OR is that just me? Anywhoooo…
As you’ve read, there is not one definition of the word ‘intimate’, but there are plenty of actions and reactions that fall under that remit which we, as grown as people, like to engage in.
Intimate can be in the bed or out of the bed, clothes on or clothes off, up close or from a distance, now or later, but you should know good and damn well when your respective other says that it’s intimacy time, its THAT time!
Just don’t misread the sign thinking they just wanna fuck hard and fast because that’s a good way to end the proceedings quick, fast and in a hurry.
So if you don’t already have it, add intimacy to your reportire of skills…
Taking the time out to be a bit more intimate will make you a better lover…
By Mr Oh