Monthly Archives: July 2011

Touch ya toes plant ya nose

My name is Mr Oh and I’m an addict.
I know I’m an addict and I don’t see me kicking it anytime soon.
As my words stand in front of you, I feel the addiction coursing through the veins of my dick, making me aroused beyond a stage of human control.
I’ve attempted to seek help for this problem but no matter how many therapy sessions I attend, I still leave seeking to appease my sneaking thirst.

And I’ve now come to the point where I have realised that no amount of therapy, conversation, intervention or relocation will solve or douse the flames of how hungry I am for this addictive practice.

If you’ve read my blog before then you already know half of this addiction but the rest of it is unknown, which is why I feel to share.

My name is Mr Oh and I am a head addict. (IF you’ve read my tweets or previous blogs, then this is not news.)
I am a head addict of epic proportions. If there’s a head addict out there who’s more of an addict than me, I’d say you were lying.
I’m an addict that likes to put his whole FACE into the pussy. Like WHOLE face… nose too.
Those types of whole face moves where you slide ya entire face up and down and manage to get juice on the tip of ya forehead to the underside of ya chin. That is the what the 90s would call the “BOMB DIGGY”.
But that’s not the only addiction I suffer from.
It’s a particular way of eating a pussy that I am addicted to and need help with.
Obviously the lady in my life has NO complaints because I’m already down on the ground, face up, tongue out before she even has to ask.
But that’s another story.

My addiction is, plain and simple, about being face fucked.
Particularly having a woman bent over with the opportunity to put ya face DEEP between her cheeks…
WOW…
I can’t even explain how right everything is with the world when a waist is grinding on my face in such a move.
This position should inspire the carnival dancer in her to wake up and put in a stellar Notting Hill performance. What that means, for you green folk, is a woman’s hips should get BIZZZZZZZAYY on the face behind it. Think of any reggae video you’ve ever seen where a woman is getting that MAJOR LEGAUE HARD WINE on. Now imagine that same woman bent over to the front and working a face between her cheeks.
And that’s where I am. Addictionville.

You may understand it, you may not… if you DON’T then you best stop reading now and switch to a blog about shoes and food, but if you DO understand, then read on because I’m about to get INTO it… no pun intended…

Head isn’t for everyone is it?
Not everyone is good at it. Some women out there like to make their men LEARN that they can’t just be shit at head and think she’ll say, ‘oh don’t worry about it, let’s do something else.’
Oh no no no… you gotta make em learn…
That’s my attitude…

MAKE ME LEARN.

And this is the perfect position to learn em.
This position leans into the submissive pussy eater territory but that’s all gravy…
There are different variations of how to do and enjoy this, but the Dirty South dance is my favourite.

*Lil Jon voice* BEND OVER TO THE FRONT AND TOUCH YA TOES…

If you’ve never done this type of thing before then allow me to take you to head school.
Now fellas, and ladies who like ladies, you’re gonna have to give up a high level of control in this position. It’s not about you controlling her, it’s more about her controlling you.
There are many ways to find yourself in this position and how you do it is up to you. I prefer to already be down there before I’m asked. Something sexy about being there all ready and salivating, so that when she turns around and realises, ‘hey, why are you on your knees?’ it won’t take long for her to fix her ass in your face.
Now, depending on how much ass she has, depends on how much ass your gonna have to hold open. The bigger the ass, the more you’d have to hold it open. (If you’ve eaten pussy from this position, you know how lovely it is to have her this way.)
What this position also does is it lets her dance.
If you have a woman who really knows how to work her middle; hard wine, slow wine, tick tock, don’t stop, cent, five cent, ten cent, DOLLA, then you know this is her time to shine… or shine on you.
Once you’ve opened the ass enough and managed to get your face in, let her do her damn thing. This is the moment when she should be doing her best stripper impression with her waist, hips and ass cheeks.
You might not be too fond of having your partner’s asshole so close to your face, but, really if your thinking like that, then you won’t be able to put your ALL into it.
When you eat meat, you don’t think about where it came from, how it was killed or the chemicals that go into it, you just eat it.
Same rule applies.

Don’t think about her ass in your face or the strange scent that doesn’t smell like pussy juice that covers your nose as you extend your tongue fully. All those types of thoughts should be thrown to the left to the left…
If you’re doing it right, you might find your neck starting to ache, especially if she’s enjoying the hell out of it. It’s hard to ignore a woman in any position who says something along the lines of “oh my God, you need to keep fucking me”, “oh yeah, right there…” or “you want me to fuck your face?” to which you should reply with a mouthful of “HELL YEAH!”
That is half the fun of being in this position: making her feel so good that she starts to move or speak or curse you out.
The best… ooooooooo… the best thing about this position is when she starts to ride ya face. I’m start to salivate just thinking about it… (might need to book some of that for the weekend)
Best is when you are stuck between a rock and a soft place. Your forced back, on your knees, into a wall or a bed… SOMETHING that stops you from going anywhere. And then, she GETS ya…
Oh yeah, she gets ya. And makes her pussy rub up and down ya face. Possibly puts her hands on her knees to get a good lean on. You don’t even have to move because of the grind that she’s putting on ya. All you have to do is keep your tongue out and let the pussy do the rest.
You can add some variations to it by adding a finger or three or licking just the clit (but be careful, reaching for the clit from the back isn’t easy and could cause some MAJOR neck pain come the morning… trust me I know…)

There’s something about facial abuse that really does it for me. I can’t explain what it is that turns me on about having a woman taking control of my face and using it for whatever she deems necessary. Maybe it’s the idea of giving up all the control of forcing and holding her in a position and letting her do what she wants that works.
It’s not only highly sexual but it should open your eyes to the depths of just how WILD your lady maybe. She might wanna just take it easy on you and only give you a slight push back with her ass, giving you something easy to eat. But then… she might be an animal in this position. She might’ve been WAITING for the day when you give her this opportunity to do her damn thing. And she does.
In fact she fucks you up.
She gets wild and loose.
BUUCK WILD CRAZY even…
SO wild that you try to control her by holding onto her hips but she shrugs you off with a “get the fuck off me” kinda moan.

Whichever you have in your face, it doesn’t matter…
As long as she looks like she’s dancing to a Sean Paul song naked with your face to rub on, she’s doing it right.
Whether YOU eat it right or not is another question.
I think she’ll let you know one way or another.
Either she’ll ride it out and make it better or she’ll ride it out and MAKE you make it better.

Who cares?

I don’t… I just love my face fucked. Bent over on and given the rough ride.
As I said, eating pussy in this position ain’t for everybody but you can really meet a DIFFERENT person when you allow her to do you like his. Or let her do you like this.

As I said at the start, I’m an addict.
I love the taste.
I can take the neck ache.
I can even gloss past the fact that you may smell a little bit of ass while your eating.
All because I love my face offended.
In fact I want some facial abuse from the back hand side right now…

Where’s my phone?

By Mr Oh

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Sex song for the sexy

There is no way in hell that you do not know this song.
If you are a fan of soul music, R&B or neo-soul then you know this song.
You taste it when you hear it.
You picture just how naked the artist must’ve been to write and record it (that’s private time thinking).
Any time you hear it, a sexual situation of your past comes back to you and you relive the last time you heard it.
I don’t know about you but it makes me freak the fuck out.
I wanna start taking off my clothes.
Pull her closer than close.

Splash on a splash and kiss on a kiss.
This song is the shit.

Nearly half as sexy as the artist herself.
Now this woman is top of my list… this is the pinnacle of a sultry, magically beautiful, soulfully talented, thick piece of a woman that I would lick the foot soles of after a 20-mile marathon.
I’ve been a fan of hers since the very first single (in fact I heard her before her first album licked so I feel like she’s MY artist).
She is exactly what an artist is…
Her style, even the way she looks, makes ya wanna fly to Philly and wrestle her to the ground, in a good way.

I’m talking about the wonderful Jill Scott.

And I’m talking about her totally delicious, 1.49 seconds of pure saccharine bliss of sound called Crown Royal On Ice.

Yeah….. you know the one…

I know you do… You’ve probably just thought about the song in your head and you’ve just gone, ‘hmmmmmmm, oh YEAH’.

You may know the song from the sex mixtape you keep just for your special occasions or you bought Jill’s third album and you had the same response to the song that I had when you first heard it.
You froze.
You turned it up.
She started singing and you had to rewind it.
Then you listened to the lyrics.
And you realised, “oh shit, Jill’s getting SAUCY with it”.
Then it finished and you thought, “where’s the rest of the tune?”

Even though there’s another aspect of the song on the same album, it only takes one play of that song to do the damage.

From the first line of the song, you know it’s going to be an emotional situation by the time you get to the end of it…
Funny to think that in writing this blog, I’ve realised that the song is about ONE simple position, yet Jill makes it sound like she’s singing about everything love, sex and emotion.

“Your hands on my hips pull me right back to you”

Talk about create a visual… from the first line, you can already paint a picture of what time it is. Although she could still be talking about a number of thangs, like dancing, it’s the next line that confirms TRULY what time it is…

“I catch that thrust give it right back to you,”

Okay, this is when Jill takes you off the fence and throws you face first into some audio pussy. I’ve never tasted audio pussy before until the second line of this song. Talk about a way to make ya mind picture some shit and the best thing about this line is that there’s more to come.

“You’re in so deep I’m breathing for you”

At this point, I had never heard Jill Scott say something so simple and yet so damn motherfucking amazing. I mean, where else could you be if your “in so deep” that she’s breathing for you. I mean, think about it… a man being inside you so deep that its as if she’s breathing for you? You don’t have to breath, you don’t have to speak… it’s like if you think about saying something it’ll come out of her mouth. That’s depth like when you have to move some ass cheeks and wiggle in just a little to get in deeper.

“You grab my braids arch my back high for you”

AWWWWWWW MAAAAAAAAANNNNNN… pull some freaking hair, stare at the arch pocket that forms in her back (if your loving Jill then I imagine that arch pocket is looking real sexy). That’s verging on some rough sex, she’s looking back at you, looking really sexy, telling you how to do it in a voice that makes you wanna run roughshot over her…

“Your diesel engine,I’m squirting mad oil ah”

There’s no explanation of anything needed for this line. He is the diesel engine and she is squirting mad oil. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m a lover of squirting oil, especially when there is no control over it. OoOoOoOooo… squirt that shit…

“Down on the floor til my speaker starts to boil”

If you aren’t making love or rough ramping with someone by this point in the song, then your game is not tight in anyway, shape or form.
If you’ve started on the bed, take it to the floor. Not like, stopping then saying, ‘let’s get on the floor’ but that kinda thang where you are getting so damn rampant that you end up on the floor and someone has carpet burns and after several orgasms, you look up and say, ‘hey, how did we end up down here?’

“I flip s**t, quick slip, hip dip and I’m twisted”

Now this is where simple, descriptive word play can be used to arouse and really give you that delicious thought of ‘imagine if she did this in front of me’. I mean imagine if your in the middle of a position change and she does that thing where she flips over real quick, slips you in even quicker and then dips her hips so you slide in a DIFFERENT way. Delicious ain’t it?

“In your hands and your lips and your tongue tricks”

These are the tools you should be bringing to EVERY table, every time, every night, without fail…

“And you’re so thick and you’re so thick and you’re so”

If you hear a woman saying anything like this then you know you have her in the place where you want her. Any time a woman says something like, ‘oh my GOD you feel so good’, ‘that’s some BIG dick’, ‘that dick feels GOOD’, a man will feel REAL DANGEROUS in himself. It’s like a feeling where you feel so good, you want to literally explode. When a woman says things like that, she KNOWS she’s stroking the ego of a man but it sounds so good, especially when she means it.

“Crown Royal on ice”

Whatever your drink, whatever you taste that makes you shiver because it tastes so good, whatever you swallow, you know what it does to you.
It warms you up, it thrills you hen it goes down, you lean with it and you rock with it. The drink is so sexy, you feel different just holding it in a glass.

And then, the sexy TCILF (Thick Chick I’d Like to Fuck) sings it again, verse and chorus, just in case you missed it.
And she does it with some extra ad-libs on top, which give the words an added aspect of sex.

If you’ve ever seduced or had sex with Jill Scott playing and she is singing that song, you get an extra piece of vida loca in your mojo and you should be getting SEXIER with it…
Because your not only feeling it, you’re doing it…
You’re feeling it.
You ARE it.

Try this: Stand in front of your partner naked… about 10 feet away from each other. Look at ya partner. Then play that song. Look at how sexy ya partner becomes, how the room temperature seems to increase, how an element of sex fills the room and its on before the song even finishes.

Whatever your sex song is, play it, move to it, grind pon it, thrust during certain parts of the song and sing when ya partner comes.
Then don’t let em rest… just do it again…

Make her feel like Crown Royal on ice…

By Mr Oh

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I love that spot


I don’t know what to call this.
Some would say it’s a dedication, some would say it’s a moment of appreciation, some would say I’m just being my usual perverted self, but whatever you wanna call this, enjoy it.

Because I do.
I just love to sometimes kneel down and look at it face-to-skin. Sometimes I like to run my tongue over it and enjoy the curve I know is coming. Marvel at it with my eyes open, feel it with my eyes closed. Maybe go in with my hands as well. Who knows. The possibilities are endless.
And that’s why I love this piece of human real estate.
You can find this beautiful piece of land behind every woman who has herself with a nicely shapely behind(or if she doesn’t have an ass, it’s not as sexy).
And she has a nice little spot that curves from her back to her ass.
You know the one.
That spot you rest your hand so you’re not touching her ass, but you can get a nice gauge on its size just from that spot.
I can’t explain how that’s possible but men who have a lady in their life who has quite a caboose attached to her rear knows about that spot.
Maybe your not recognising it because I’m talking about it in a sexy, romantic slide your hand onto it while you kiss sort of way. If I called it ‘that diamond spot that forms on her back when your hitting it doggystyle and holding her cheeks at the same time’ spot, maybe that would make more sense.

It’s nothing but skin. Really.
It’s not like it comes with toys on the front like nipples or a treasure trove of mystery like the lady garden.
It’s just… skin.
But there is just something so damn sexy about it.
Usually a spot where you’ll find something tattooed, this spot is a BEAUTIFUL tool in the art of seduction.
OH, don’t think I’m playing…
If you think I’m playing then you have a LOT to learn.
If done correctly, a smooth hand on the small of a woman’s back can create a hold ya breath moment for her and, if your kissing her just right, you’ve got yourself a beautiful thang.
Simple things like running your hand up and down a woman’s back can heighten a moment when she wants to feel like she’s being taken care of by a MAN… strong hands and all.
Obviously, you don’t grab the woman up like your trying to pull her spine out but strong hands up and down her back, up into her neck, maybe into her hair, you pull it a little bit, she sighs, her neck is exposed… take it… like it’s calling… let your other hand wander down her back…
Down. To. That. Spot!

And pull her close.
I don’t know about you and I can’t explain why I like it but… it’s just a dandy place to touch.
Intimate… in a way…

Definately intimate when she is bent over and her ass is in the air and he has his hands above your bouncing behind, holding onto that spot for dear life. (If you’re playing the pull-out game, it’s also a nice spot to shoot on, but you already know that… that’s IF she can’t drop down, flip around and open wide.)
If she has her back to you, it’s at the bottom of the curve of her back… just in case.
Really, it doesn’t matter which end you get to put your hands or tongue on this spot, but if it’s been something you’ve just glossed over in the past, take note.
Play with it. You don’t have to admit you read it and used it.
That’s fine. Go ‘head!
Trust me, it’s one of those little things that you combine with a nice touch, a gentle kiss and the sweetest eye connection.
How about I give you an example…

In he walks. There she is.
Standing there.
She looks at him. Her eyes reading him, hoping he’ll do what she is thinking in her head.
Just take her.
Whisk her off her feet. Make her feel like there is nothing else in the world but them in the moment.
He is staring at her. Naked.
Admiring her beauty.
Slowly, he moves towards her, watching her anticipate his next move.
Their eyes locked, speaking.
Having and enjoying the moment in their minds before they’ve even touched.
He licks his lips. She feels her nipples harden.
She licks her lips. He watches them glisten the closer he gets.
His lips are inches from hers.
They can feel the warmth of their bodies radiating against each other.
Her hands reach either side of his head and lock around his neck.
His hands slide onto her cheeks, looking into her eyes.
They both close their eyes.
The anticipation of their lips meeting is electric.
Delicious.
She sucks in a deep breath, taking in the essence of him as he sucks her bottom lip.
His left hand slides onto her neck, across her hairline while his other hand travels down her shoulders.
He let’s his fingers loose down her spine…
Slowly slipping down… into that spot.
Just above her ass.
A nice, strong place to pull her closer in.

There’s no frills and spills to this spot. It’s just skin.
But it’s more than that.
It’s like the feeling of an intention.
I COULD touch your ass, which is lovely and splendid and grabalicious, but I don’t want to.
I wanna touch… JUST above it.
I like that spot.
I REALLY do.

By Mr Oh

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