Fake freaks – met one yet?

This is one of those posts that isn’t to anyone particular, and yet I feel like people will be able to relate.

First things first… This one is for the freaks! You know who you all are you ‘make it nasty’, ‘is that a sex swing’, I’m hungry for a dick in my mouth or a pussy on my face, starving for it all times of day and night type freaks.

Freaks come in all shapes, sizes, races and sexual orientations. But this isn’t about you you ‘spit on it’ freaky deaky you. Oh no, this is about the ones out there who aren’t really… *sigh* they’re not completely… you know… they aren’t 100% committed to the freaky ways. They say they are, but you usually find out when you attempt to throw something which to you could be quite normal (for your freaky sensibility) but to them, well, you might as well have just asked them to fuck a goat. They usually have this perplexed look on their face like, “well damn, I didn’t know you were living THAT life?’.

Full blown Kevin Hart noooooooooo…

The fake freaks if you will.

Now the term freaky is interchangeable depending on the person you are speaking to. One man’s anal is another woman’s cuckolding session. A freak, in the sexual sense, knows they are and fully embraces it without embarrassment or fear of judgement. They can take the look of disgust on a partner’s face when they suggest taking a variation of toys, nipple clamps and vibrators and having the equivalent of a gang bang. (Again, because freaky is different for everyone, that could be something quite normal for some but out of this world for others.)

Whether you are known as a freak or class yourself as freaky, it’s less about the things you do to have that title and more about the mindset. Freaks aren’t necessarily open to EVERYTHING but they aren’t afraid of experimenting too.

And then there are the fake freaks. The ones that were talking all the talk about how freaky they are, saying all the right things but then when the clothes hit the candle, their “freaky” seems quite vanilla. Women: you seem to get the guys who say they are freaky, offer all the ‘freaky’ options in the world with matching shoes and handbags to match, yet when it comes to, say, eating you out, he drops the classic, “man don’t do them things”. Or he’s scared to have his backdoor played with for fear of becoming gay during the insertion.

Men: our fake freaks vary from no originality in anything she does or no effort to promises of the best head ever but her mouth somehow feels like a dry flannel with no soap.

Now, let’s not get it twisted. Fake freaks are GOOD at what they do. Because the beauty of the fake freaks is that the real ones don’t meet them until it’s too late. You’re already naked and your thighs are in the air and you are sighing in heavy frustration because he only gave you like three kisses on your stomach then stopped and tried to insert his finger dry.

Fellas, if you’ve ever been getting head and you look down like “this doesn’t even feel good. Where’s all that talk you had before?” you know who I’m talking about.

Fake freaks get in there before you realise you’ve been duped. They do a quick run around the outside and when you look up and realise, “hey this wasn’t what I ordered” you’ve already been disappointed. Sometimes it’s way too late and you hold on thinking maybe the freak will pop out at a later date… and it never does.

There is no way to stop the fake freaks because ultimately they are trying to get to your level. That is what they are all about. Trying to match you so they can experience what a true freak can do. You would think that maybe your freaky would inspire them but…

They can’t help it. Some of them really do want to push past their unspoken fears, doubts and insecurities and cross the bridge into Freakopolis.

But the others really don’t and just like to say shit in order to get into a position where they can hit you with the long con. This is where you think you can wait for their freaky to show or teach them something new. That is sometimes like trying to get a Jamaican man fresh from yard to eat pussy. Can happen but, ya know… probably not.

For the short con, the fake freak could just be using their words with no actions to simply get in and get out. They know full well they are not living that freaky life. They aren’t ready to test the limits of their sexual careers and try something out of the box, they just wanna experience the freak that you are because something you’ve shown or told them has excited ‘em right nice.

Fake freaks are real and they are here people! They are in relationships right now with people who are just waiting for the freak delivery to be at their partner’s door. The real bitch about fake freaks is they are able to grab and hold people with their lies and deceit and bamboozle-ness and still be able to offer the bare minimum while their partner is sitting there like oh come on.

So fake freaks out there, don’t be fake anymore. Be yourself.

Don’t let the pressures of the REALLY freaky people scare you into trying to be someone you’re not. Stay in your lane and be comfortable with it. Don’t take your non-freaky ways and drape them over someone who’s freak is flying free like a bird (for some reason I was going to saying ‘flying free like a labia’ – don’t ask me why)

Don’t drown the real freaks out there. They’re good swimmers and they are comfortable in the water.

Peace and hair grease

Mr Oh

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