Tag Archives: ass

Simply unclench

So…

You and ya man are in bed, it’s all going good and great. You are making all the noises you’re supposed to make, he’s feeling nice and hard the way he’s supposed to and it’s all going gravy…
But then, suddenly, out of the blue, while you’re looking left, ya man takes ya hand and he leads you somewhere…
Now usually, this can be quite a sexy thang, but on this occasion, you’re not quite sure… because the leading goes to his anus.
Then he whispers, ‘go on then…’

What do you do then miss lady?

It’s gonna be one of two responses to this kind of sexual dilemma…

You are either gonna be the happy go lucky, experimental, tried and tested, give it a go kinda woman who will allow her fingers to be led to wherever…
OR…
You are the other woman who feels her hand going beyond a certain point on a man’s body and you pull your hand away and you wake up from the sexy dream you were having and you look at him like, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
And that just ends the whole sex party and before you know it, he’s got blue balls and she’s scared to go near him again for fear of him trying it again.

For some women and men, they have NO idea about the ass play on a man and the reasons why it works… for most women there’s a HELL MOTHERFUCKING NO about it but… wait… let’s go into it…

Ass play on men is one of the biggest taboos in sex today… more taboo than a man giving a woman head, which is STILL a taboo to some men (GET IT TOGETHER FELLAS).
And it’s not just a taboo with men… women are not so into getting their fingers around a man’s anal area… for whatever their reason. (Well we know the reason.)
Ask a group of women if they’ve ever played with a man’s ass and they’ll tell you no. But then again, there are seemingly more and more open minded people that are getting involved in such.

Fellas… I’m gonna talk to you first.
Now I know that there is a lot of stigma attached to a man having his ass played with in any sexual milieu. And that the only time a man should have fingers anywhere near his asshole is after he’s taken a shit.
A lot of stigma is attached to the fact that apparently there’s a G-Spot in that area. Now I’m not 100% on whether or not that is true but, I can say that there IS pleasure to be found in having such an area played with.

I’m not gonna lie or act like, ya know, ‘oh I had a “friend” who told me about it’, I’m gonna keep it 100…
I’ve had my ass played with once or twice… YEAH I SAID IT… and guess what, I’m STILL straight…
It didn’t make me feel gay and, at the time, I never felt gay…
By the time I came, I felt REAL damn good…
And by the end, the power of the orgasm made me realise that there IS something to be said for ass play.
You may like it, you may not, you may try call me gay after if you want (good luck with that) but I can’t deny that it didn’t feel good.
I’m not gonna go into the intricacies of what and how, let’s just say I know what time it is.
And I for one can say that there’s some magic behind it…

If you don’t like your ass played with, fine. But don’t shut your mind to it just because you think if she slips a finger down there and you like it, it makes you gay. That’s crap and you need to step out that fucking dream. Grow up too.
What’s wrong with you?!

I’m not claiming that you’ll be a bigger man just by doing such, at the end of the day, everyone likes what they like, but don’t close it away just because you’re scared (even though you wouldn’t admit to being scared).

Now ladies… some of you may be feeling the same as some of the men. You hear ass play and you think ‘yu wah? A MAD YU MAD!’
But as I said earlier, there IS pleasure to be found in it…
Time it right and the man’s orgasm can buss a ceiling light… meaning the power of it can shock you. (Trust me, those kind of orgasms where you almost hit yourself in the mouth.)
It’s not for everyone, it’s especially not the kind of thing you do with a Jamaican man… but it is something worthy of exploring.
I mean, there are tons of things out there that people didn’t know were fun until they tried them.

There are many ways you can break a man into that kind of thing, e.g. while giving him the sloppy toppy, during a 69 or in a number of positions…
It’s not necessarily the type of thing you wanna try dry and with no type of alternative distraction… you gotta break em in…

But let me not give women advice on how they can fuck their men in the ass and then have a whole bunch of troubled men sending me messages like, “my girl tried to stick her fingers in my ass and she said YOU told her to do it” but, what I am saying is the stigma attached to ass play is crap.

Ass play is not as bad as people think it is… obviously a gay man will tell you it’s great, lol.

But straight folk are doing it too… there’s nothing wrong with it, it may feel slightly uncomfortable but lemme say this…

Find a woman who gives the best blowjob in the world. I’m talking about the slop with the handwork with the noises with the eye contact and all that good stuff…


Try it with her… but make sure she’d be down for it first…
Because the first time you have a blowjob while having your ass played with, you will come on the fucking ceiling.
Trust me…

Would I lie?
Am I trying to set up the male population in order to get them fucked in the ass?

NO… I don’t think…
Only kidding, I’m not…

Let go of your hold-ups and let ya ass be played with…

Cha… it’s not gonna kill you and who knows you might like it… but it doesn’t make you gay if you do…
Open-minded maybe but not gay…

(It’s funny, I think I can hear people clicking the Unfollow button, lol)

By Mr Oh

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Olympic sport of ass watching

I have no freaking idea!

I can’t explain it.
Understand it.
Get my head around it.
Or figure out what the hell it is that gets me so damn turned on.
There are LESSONS on it.
You can watch someone being caught by it.
Shit like that has caused car accidents.
Made two people come to blows over it.
It could change a life.
You do it with a quick corner of your eye without turning ya head.
Make a bad day start to look up.
Cross your line of vision and make you forget what you were going to say.

Men do it.
Women do it more, not always for the same reasons.
It can start some shit.
Inspire some shit.
Make a man have to call his partner and let her know that it’s on when he gets home.
On a good day, it can make you want to give someone a hard, open handed palm slap with no remorse.
Other days, it just makes you smile.
And no two days of seeing it are the same.
That’s why it rules.

And with the sun coming out just that little bit more, I’ll take another shot at trying to get to the ‘bottom’ of this issue.

So, it’s a normal day. You wake up feeling normal. Shit, shower, dressed and out to whatever job or vice you do. You’re safely waiting for the traffic to stop so you can cross the road when out of nowhere, a woman with the FATTEST ass walks past your line of sight.

You see it. You can’t DENY you see it because you’ve probably stopped in the middle of the road, that’s the caliber with which this ass takes you by surprise.
The kind of ass you look at and think, “good GOD, is that REAL?”


The only thing to wake you from the dream of staring, and fantasy fucking, this ass is the BEEP BEEP of the car your standing in front of.
You may have lived this kind of episode outside of the car or you’ve been inside the car when you see the ass… either way you see the ass and your mouth just drops.

Perfect O.

And all this because of seeing THAT ass.

Maybe it’s just me and my eyes but it seems like asses out there these days are getting slightly out of control.
How in the hell can women, in all their shapes and sizes and rotations, still be coming out HARDER in the ass department? Naturally, no sillicone, no butt pads, I’m talking good, clean, wholesome caboose?
I mean bigger, larger, sturdier, shapelier, rounder with more circumference?
And it’s not just ladies of colour that are bringing the shape to the shindig as history has shown us.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an ass man.
Maybe it’s ‘cuz I’m from a Nigerian background and I grew up with asses everywhere… who knows…

But I do love an ass… In all it’s shapes and sizes.
I do like to watch the damn thing move.
Even standing still, it’s a great thing to watch. When a woman rests her weight on one leg and makes the caboose just POP.

But, nothing and I mean nothing, is the same as walking down the road on a summer day and seeing a pair of thighs coming towards you. (Not literally just a pair of thighs, obviously their attached to someone.)
Already you’ve decided whether or not the woman walking towards you has an ass that you should look at. Then you look…
And it’s better than you thought it would be.
Makes you thank God you turned around.
Sometimes you take a look and you find that the thighs lied from the front but that’s okay… a good pair of thighs shouldn’t go to waste either.

Now there will be that portion of the population who feel that its disrespectful to stare at a woman’s ass in that way and it makes said woman feel objectified.

AAAAAAHHHHHH HUUSHAADEFACKUP!

Really?

I CAN see how a woman can feel that way. But those folk are forgetting about the positive effects a nice ass can have on a community.
Yeah, I said it, community.
A good ass can bring people together and make strangers become friends.
Case in point, two men walking towards each other on a high road.
Between them is a bus stop.
As they get closer to each other, a bus approaches and stops.
A woman gets off the bus and has the type of shape that makes a mouth drop open.
One man already has her ass in his sights but the man approaching has to wait until she passes before he gets to see.
She passes, his head turns, then he turns back.
The two men make eye contact.
A moment of understanding that THAT was an ass.
They smile.
Passing comment maybe.
All because an ass brought them together.
Best example of this can be seen at the Notting Hill Carnival.
Trust me, ass brings people together there.

The thing about ass watching today is that there are more women that do it than… okay, I can’t say more than men but a lot of them do it.
They’re a lot slicker at it and it’s not as much about judging the woman on what she’s wearing. Women appreciate another woman’s shape and can look at each other and say, ‘she’s sexy’. A heavy mix of arousal and appreciation… but most times, it’s ass watching.
For a man, watching a woman watching another woman is obviously the shit ‘cuz he instantly thinks THREESOME…
He may not even know the women but he thinks it.
Some women too.

The art of watching a good ass should be an Olympic sport and should recognised by FIFA and given goal-line technology.
Ask any man or woman the best way to watch a woman and they’ll give you a step-by-step play of how to get maximum view time.
Some of the advice will be straight to the point and some will be quite sneaky and damn near 007 about it.
There’s the classic ‘wait till she passes’, ‘check her reflection in a shop front window’, ‘look at her from the front and then the back’ and the ‘pre-turn’, which is used by those men who are walking with someone who they don’t want to see them look.
Quite clever and very simple. But, one that women have figured out.
(If they haven’t, they have now.)

The ‘pre turn’ is when he turns his head and looks behind him BEFORE the woman passes so that when she does pass, he’s already looking. He won’t need to look for long because the SHE he’s walking with might start to realise.
(If you feel I’m giving away game, then you need to step yours up…)

There’s the negative side of ass watching where some neanderthals feel the urge to say something totally offensive or even attempt to feel the amazing shape before them. And those folk should be circumcised with the Olympic torch.
Always some mofos that like to ruin it for the people who play the sport by the unwritten rules.

But for those who play the game without letting anyone know, for those who are able to spot a good shape at 500 yards, for those who have stories about asses they’ve seen that you could describe but you “just had to be there”, this one ‘s for you.
And with the resurgence of women enjoying wearing leggings every damn day and every damn where, there’s a lot more to look at.
Damn leggings!

To my fellow watchers out there, I tip my literary hat.
We’re a part of a very large club that is literally EVERYWHERE…
All we ask is that women take the time to feel sexy enough about themselves that they wear those thangs that make heads turn, necks ache, cars crash and sudden moments in time feel like fireworks on a clear night.

You know that kind of shape that makes you look and say to yourself, “DAAAAAAMN!”

Watch on watchers, watch on…

By Mr Oh

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A Rider’s waist shouldn’t go to waste

On the suggestion of one of my Twitter followers (who’s name shall be protected so no one questions her riding game), I have been asked to write a little blog about the intricacies of riding.
So, this one is mainly for the ladies… but fellas who like a rider, let me know if I’m hitting the nail on the head.

For those who aren’t down with the art of riding during sex… then this one is for you…

Riders are normal, everyday people.
They enjoy sex in all variations, usually about the time when they are able to throw their hips or waist into a position that gives them a fair degree of control.
A rider enjoys what they do. They know how to quint, tick tock, hard wine, drop it like its hot and and all that good stuff.
As a rider, rough or gentle, you, miss lady, are not afraid to get on top and let ya stomach show, whether it’s small, flat, curved, rounded or slightly flabby.
Really, it’s not your body that your worried about. It’s your technique. It’s the ride… the grind… the way the dick slips up inside you. Maybe even rubs against that internal button right nicely.

Riders and their riding game are focused on WORKING that shit. Making sure that the wine and grind is deep, connected and feeling good for everyone.
Women who like to get on top and throw it down on a man know the feeling of what it’s like to have the dick deep inside you.

When a woman sits on top and straightens her back and starts to ride, the dick gets RIGHT up in there.

SoOoOoOoOo in there, you might start to feel it in the back of your throat… if it’s one of THOSE dicks.
But the art of good riding is to make that dick touch different places inside of you. You may lean the hips to the left, rock the waist to the right just so things touch different… thangs.
For the right rider, a dick inside during the ride is an orgasm after a few rounds of the grind. For others, you have to work up to the orgasm. For some, its just a position on the way to another.

But you riders out there… oooooooh, you love it don’t ya you dirty filthy grinders you…

Now, if you don’t know how to ride… or you have an issue with riding.. or you just wanna add a new recipe to ya cook book, eitherway, here’s a few tips on how to best work the ride… And how to take it…

Lean with it-
This is a fan favourite of mine and definitely one that women and men alike prefer to use. Side effects include being sweat on but that’s a minor when someone is coming on you in such a way that they’re squeezing pussy walls on ya. You won’t really care.
Now when a woman gets on top and she rolls with the lean with it move, there are a few things to remember as a man.
Number one, you need to remember that being on top and riding means that she will have full control of the stroke. So if you are anywhere near coming, do not let her get you into this position because you WILL buss real quick.
When she climbs on, and you slip in, and she starts to rock her roll all over you, her rhythm will definitely speed up. But that’s not what you are looking out for. It is the moment when she leans forward on ya chest or on the headboard.
This gives her extra leverage in the back. When I mean in the back, I mean in the hips that she should be working and jerking. By leaning forward, she is able to work what she’s working that little bit easier.
Pound it, spin on it, circle on top of it… any kinda work.
The movement, coupled with the lean forward, comes together like moving the hair out of a woman’s face while she is giving you head. So you can see and feel it better.
Same thing.
A rider likes the freedom that allows them to pound and bang with no issues, dramas or distractions.
Best way to take this ride is to just take it. Let her do what it is she wants to do.

Put ya hands by by your side, under her arms so there is no distraction. I know its the ting to leave your hands out so that you are able to hold on, grab on, spank or control her if you need to but, don’t.
Just let her go.

You come when you come. Probably a few seconds after the HARD grind starts.

Equally sexy when she turns around in the reverse upright cowgirl.

Doggystyle ride –

As a woman, if you think that there is no way for you to jump on the ride and keep the ride going in the doggy, then you are wrong and you have been doing it wrong.
You see, in that position, a woman rules a man for how ever many strokes he can manage. He may grab your waist and decide whether to rock fast or slow but you, miss lady are in control.

You know it. He knows it.
You should know that a little twist of your hips will drive him mad, a heavy back and forth slam will make him have to come out so he doesn’t come quick.
Really though, fuck all that.
In this position, the control is in the waist of a woman when she commands him to stay still… and fucks him.
Make him stay still.
Tell him not to move.
This is the sexiest thing to a man when a woman DEMANDS that he stay still, not move, basically follows orders.
Once you’ve got him mannequin in place, back it up.
Not a typical RIDE as such but to those who excel in this position, and get a GOOD nut in this position, you know where the ride is.

In this position, it’s not as simple as just backing it up. You have to play a role with your lower half.
It may seem a little silly to get your award-winning performance on while your face down, ass up but your waist and your hips have to take on a mind of their own.
THIS is the ride.
Twist ya hips to the right as you slide off the dick then twist to the left as you take him back in. (Useful to hear a song in your head that has a good rhythm to it, helps the movement.)

THEN…

Get flat.
Not literally.
I mean press yourself down to the bed as far as you can without dropping your ass. This is the true definition of face down, ass up.
You should look like a BMX ramp the way your back is arched.
Clench yourself backwards away from him, to the point that his tip is visible, hopefully creamed with you, then take him back in, fast or slow, however you like it. Keep him still so your doing all the sliding.
Look back at him and make sure he’s watching. That adds to the thrill.

REALLY, a woman can ride you in any position you slip her into. For wrestling fans, it’s like getting caught slipping and having a figure four leglock put on you.
When she gets going, and her hips start moving and her waist starts grinding and her body starts moving, make you sit back and watch it!
It’s a thing of beauty to see, better than 3D and, for she, it should be a pussy grinding party.
Constant switch-ups, mixed with hard grinds, long strokes and deep pokes should have even the most seasoned of swordsmen trying to slow you down.

That’s the mark of a goood rider… when your doing that thang that you do and he has to hold your hips to slow you down or change the flow. That means the thing your doing is making him good to go.

A lil bounce when your on top, a lil back arching when your ass is up, a good grip on the bed when your on your side so you can really pound on him.
There’s a good rider in every woman, she just needs to find her favourite rhythm to ride on.
What’s your riding song?

Whatever it is, find it, hear it, use it, ride it, get it, sleep on it…
He’ll thank you for it…

By Mr Oh

I know the pancakes are random but are they really? Is the syrup on hot pancakes a metaphor for the orgasm you should receive as the result of a good ride? Or are the pancakes just a good prize after a good ride out?

You choose…

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I will but will you?

(Thanks to the amazing, hella fine, Kool and the gang, hook a brother up with a 3 day pass @SexySecret09 for the idea…)

So it’s another night.
You and your partner are together.
Ya warm and all agreeable and shit.
At a point where fingers are fiddling, eyes are meeting and speaking, your libidos are raging and there is nothing else to do except get it on.
Her bra goes this way, his boxers go that way…
His resolve goes out the window and her restraint was left at the front door.
It’s HOT now and nervous fingers become busy and focused on the lecture at hand.
The first kiss is electric.
Your damn near singing H-Town’s The Rain in your mind.
His hands on the small of your back is just what the doctor ordered.
She masturbating him all nice and wet.
It’s about to do DOWN…
Her thighs are too and fro.
His dick is up and more than ready to rock and roll…

Then…

It happens.

The inappropriate question. The gesture for a step in the wrong direction that makes you feel not so sexy anymore.

“Babe, will you eat my ass?”

“Can I spray whipped cream in your pussy and eat it out?”

Erm… I’m sorry, WHAT?!

Right now, your laying there, hot and bothered, really to play Super Mario and get that pipe or you are up standing and ready to feel her warmth but your Empire State Building becomes an instant limp shack.

You don’t know where the question came from, you don’t even know why in the hell they asked such a question, especially at that time, but now you’re staring at a dilemma.

Do you?!

You may say no straight away but, that could be the way to get yourself out of a bed situation and into a ‘maybe you’d be more comfortable at your own house’ situation.

Those questions above are only examples of the situation I’m referring to, but, in bedrooms everywhere, someone is requesting something that their partner may not be into, has never done before or something that made them screw up their face like, “ewwwwwww!”
But what do you do then?
After the initial ‘what the fuck’ moment has passed, what do you do next?
Do you do it? Or do you not? Does it depend on the act itself? Does it depend on the person asking? Does it depend on the WAY you’ve been asked? Or will you just plain refuse because you are strong in your principles and no amount of persuasion will change that?

One word for ya: experiment.

I’m not saying that if a woman wanted you to eat her ass or a man wanted to spray whipped cream from a can in your pussy and eat it out that you should let them in the name of experimentation. But, don’t shoot it down so quickly… (pardon the pun)

Take ya time… think about it… let the idea marinate for a minute.

It maybe the case that you have never done the act before and you are highly sceptical about what it will feel like, look like and even how your partner will react.
But take that chill pill and just relax… smoke a spliff if that’s your vice. (Even if it isn’t do it anyway, lol.)

THEN DO IT!

Live a little for crying out loud…

Open your mouth and swallow if you never have, slow ease into her ass if she’s asking you to put it there, if he wants you to spit on his dick with huge globs of spit, do it… what have you got to lose.
The person asking you is asking for a reason. So really, the main thing for YOU to get over is can you do it?!
Can you swallow it up and get over whatever it is in your head that is stopping you from doing it?

Some people are stubborn and hard-headed to the point where if someone suggests something between the sheets, they won’t want to do it… just because it has been suggested to them… like the suggestion is a knock against their sexual prowess.
If they came up with the idea themselves, then they’d work it like it. But to suggest something to them makes them hard headed.

Case in point: if Donald tells his friend Eli how to FUCK his own girlfriend (I can’t think about a situation where this type of convo would take place), Eli might not really wanna try the suggestions out. To Eli, it’ll feel like he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he might not try ’em. BUT… he may try them in small individual doses and, if they work, he’ll claim them as his own.

Sex is give and take, sometimes you gotta give, sometimes you gotta take. (That’s the Cosby Show advice)
Sex is supposed to be some beautiful thang, with twists and turns, wild rides, smooth strolls and humming verses of Jill Scott’s Crown Royal.
Requests may pop up that have never been put on the table before but, if they do, don’t be closed minded about it.
Think about it, take it into consideration.
Remember the person asking you is asking for a reason… there could be a hidden, mammoth, squirting orgasm at the end of that yellow brick road. But because your so stubborn and old school, you won’t even want to try.

If your not one of those people who is even open to try, thus your partner doesn’t even ask, then you will have an unhappy partner who may want to do something but is too scared to ask.

The tagline for my trilogy of Little Black Book is open ya eyes, mind and thighs…
So open all three…

You JUST might like it…

So says Mr Oh…

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