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Good clitoral behaviour


Here’s a question that didn’t make the ‘Questions for Grown freaks’ blog post but…

Women, how many men would you have thrown out of your bed, or how many beds would you have gotten out of if the other person didn’t know the correct prim and proper clitoris behaviour?
Would you have had as much sex as you’ve had if you got yo ass out the bed when said person treated your clit with the disrespect it didn’t deserve?

Clitoral behaviour is basic, old school training that everyone and their mama should know about. Ya mama probably knows about it too, though its not the type of thing you wanna think about.
Men may not realise but clitoral behaviour is very VERY important. It’s important to do it well but it’s also important to know it so you can do it right…

It wasn’t in any sex education class, nor did ya bredrins tell you about it when they spun their tales of sexual conquests.
The first time seeing pussy, I remember looking at a clitoris and thinking, ‘what the hell pleasure can you get from that little thing? Looks like the power button on a TV remote.’
Turns out there’s a lot of pleasure to be found behind the hood of a clitoris.
For some women, it’s more pleasurable than intercourse.
Many a man has met a woman thinking he is going to get some, only to get some clit play and sent on his way, pissed off.
But the clit is more than a power button… well… it IS a power button.
Press it the right way and you will get better than HD/3D results live.

Clitoral behaviour is about how you approach it, how you touch it, how you treat it, feel it, blow it, lick it, be one with it, define it… do what the hell it tells you to!
A woman’s whole libido can be thrown out the window if ya fingers are too eager to get between her smile without stopping at her clitoris. And if ya clit technique isn’t respectful, that’s another way to change a mood.
Or… and this is the worst, if ya getting hot and bothered and you, as a man, think ‘we’ve been kissing and grinding and groping long enough, I’m taking a finger and I’m going in.’ You slide a hand in, only to have it moved back UP to the clit.
Plenty of men have had this done and felt that momentary iota of shame, like, ‘dammit, should’ve gone clit first’.

So, first rule of clitoral behaviour…
Always go clit first when indulging in finger play. IF you know you have her wet enough to go finger first then do so but remember, playing with her clit can make her wet (if she isn’t) or make her wetter.

Next rule of good clitoral behaviour is about your method of massage. Now THIS rule is a very important one and your attention should be fully paid here. Why? Because you are, in essence, challenging her. I’ll explain…
A woman masturbates. And, when a woman masturbates, it’s something different to when a man does.
(Besides the obvious differences.)
A man wraps and works and that’s basically it, maybe he’ll spit on his palm first or lotion up but the premise is the same. So when it comes to a woman jerking him off, she is challenging his OWN technique to see if her own way of doing it matches up with his enough to make him come.

But, a woman, in all her splendorous splendor, needs more than just one way of working it when it comes to her clit.
When a woman plays with herself, fast fingers work but slow fingers also work. Up and down with one can be righteous at the RIGHT time but small circles with three fingers (two holding the lips open and one circling) can make her grab for the sheets.
She might enjoy two quick fingers brushing across from left to right, or a strong, periodic flick at the right time.
So many ways…

Where was I…?

Ah yes… paying attention…

The reason I said to pay attention is because, if you’ve managed to have her in a few different situations such as phone sex or been able to watch her masturbate, then you already know what she needs and how she needs it.
You already have the answers to the question she is asking in her head, which is, ‘will this motherfucker even know where my clit is?’
If you’re meeting someone new, and you haven’t crossed those voyeuristic bridges yet, then you’d have to go in blind. But, you gotta pay the same attention.
Pay attention to her.
Going in blind means you have to feel for her feeling.
Don’t think you can mimic ya trigger finger during a COD: Black Ops session on her clit.

Come on son.
Have some finesse with it.

Try different massages and finger combinations until you find that thang that makes her inhale her own breath, that makes her hug you real tight, that magically delicious thing that makes her hips start to wine and grind on ya fingers. (That’s quite easy to do when you have a finger or two inside her, but get her hips moving with some finger combinations on just her clit and you’ll feel proud of yourself.)
Once you found that something that she likes, don’t stick with it, keep it percolating… find what ELSE she likes, but keep THAT move in ya mental roladex.

Next rule of good clitoral behaviour is a short and simple one. Always remember, and never forget, to EXPOSE the clit. Before you play with it, lick it, grind on it, always expose it. A clit with a hoodie is like going to the hairdressers or barbers and having the best hairstyle ever, then covering it with a trucker cap. No one is getting to REALLY benefit.
You can play with a clit over the hood and be fine and dandy, but to let it out, free and exposed, that’s straight contact. And nothing beats straight contact.
Finger or tongue, nothing beats straight contact.

Next rule is… not to forget the clit!
Due to the fact that there are plenty of other good , fun, curvy rides on your theme park, men like to try and explore them all. And, okay, SOMETIMES, we forget about the rides we started on.
We can START there, move onto the having a finger inside, nipples reach mouths, panties come off, things wrap up, things slip in and before you know it, the casabah is rocking.
This is not true of all of us but it does happen.
If you know what ya doing then you already keep the clit alive and throbbing in whatever position you can reach it in. Even if you can’t reach it, you still seek it. (Doggystyle)
Good example of such is if a woman is on top and working like she’s TRYING to make you come.
Reach for it yes.
Good way to display her multi-tasking skills. Because if she’s got you right where she needs you, the introduction of clit play will bring another level of pleasure. She may try and move ya hand. But notice I did say TRY.

I can’t throw in a rule about how to EAT a pussy using good clitoral behaviour… every man is different… plus I’ve blogged about such subjects before (see: Submissive Pussy Eaters and All about eating pussy… tips, tricks & secret licks)
But I will say be gentle with it.
Again, exposing the clit let’s you get that straight contact. And even if your technique sucks (pardon the pun) she can at least get something out of it, hopefully.
Put your tongue in the same gear as ya finger was before and make it work for ya.
Since you’re there, dip ya tongue inside a few times then come back to the clit for a VERY nice sound from her. (Go head, try it, I’ll wait…)

While I’m waiting, I’ll finally say that the basics of good clitoral behaviour all start and end with paying attention to her!
If you know how your lady likes her lower level played with then you already know what your doing, but, for someone tasting someone new for the first time, you gotta make sure pay attention to her.
It’s so simple and, really if we did it more when it came to observing good clitoral behaviour, you’d probably be squirting by now (unless your one of those lucky ladies who changes her sheets REGULARLY!)

In a situation where you feel you are displaying good behaviour and she takes ya hand or fingers and SHOWS you how to do it, OBVIOUSLY you might feel a little way about it. Like you don’t know what your doing. But don’t take it so.
Take the guide and the movement hints and make it work for ya.
Adapt it… but not too much… she might it like just like that…

Just… like… that…

So the next time you have the opportunity to make with the massage at clit o’clock, take these rules with you and see how well you observe good clitoral behaviour.

If you’ve done it right then she will be letting you know how well you did.

By Mr Oh

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Do’s and don’ts of sex

Do’s and don’ts of sex…

This is in no way shape or form a DEFINITIVE guide on what you should and shouldn’t do during sex (I mean I may put my tongue where others won’t, plus if it was, this would be a BITCH of a list) – so let’s just get that out the way…

SEX

I talk about it, do it, write about it, think about it, taste it, visualise it… I just like it.
But, as we all know, there is an unwritten unspoken set of rules that people GENERALLY adhere to in order to fully succeed in achieving that REAL good, make her thighs shake, make him walk like an Egyptian, sweat dripping, body trembling sex.

These are 10 do’s and don’ts for the best way to achieve the sex that your friends TELL you they have… unless you’re freakier than them…

DO’S

 1.

PAY ATTENTION – a simple, but HUGE start. Watch what makes your partner tick, what makes her voice hit that Mariah Carey octave or what makes him grab all over your body because he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Chances are, if you are hitting that SPOT the right way, and you keep doing it, someone’s gonna be coming soon.

WOMEN: If a woman moans when your twist her left nipple, breath on her right one, with one finger on her clit and another making it’s way in, then she LIKES it. DUH! So remember that move and add it to your mental rolodex.

MEN: Anything that gets his toes curling, face frowning or anything that makes him open his mouth in a perfect O is a keeper.

 2.

 BE DARING – why not try a spank from on high? Or rub the space between his balls and his anus during head? There are still a lot of hang-ups about particular sexual practices in the world but, to be honest, the quietest of people will like the freakiest of things.

WOMEN: If your head is telling you to suck his dick like a porn star, armed with porn star wrist action, dirty talk and saliva, then try it.

MEN: If you want to lift her legs back PAST her head and lick her ENTIRE crotch, what’s stopping you? What have you got to lose? Besides a possible eruptive orgasm.

3.

 ALWAYS BE PREPARED – at one point or another, we’ve all finished and realised that the ‘clean up towel’ is out of reach or the flannel is in the bathroom and SOMEONE has to get up. But no one wants to move. So make sure, you’re ready for any eventuality.

MEN: If you plan to tie her up, but she doesn’t know it yet, make sure you tie up the restrains before she even gets to the bedroom. Hide things under the pillow, under the mattress, etc.

WOMEN: are generally prepared because they decided they were gonna sleep with you about two days ago AND how it was going to go.

 4.

LET IT ALL GO – that’s the best way to be… free as a bird… not thinking about your Tesco’s shopping list or if it is CSI Miami or CSI Vegas on today… your mind should be on the task at hand. Distractions can lead to sudden situations such as:

WOMEN: leaving your mind temporarily and saying the first name that comes out of your mouth, even if it isn’t the name of the person above or below you. (It’s happened…)

MEN: not really feeling the way she’s working you, and the dreaded DROOP kicks in and no amount of looking or touching is getting it back up.

 5.

SWALLOW – there is nothing like watching or listening to someone slurping down the fruit juice of your labour… especially if you’ve been made to wait or have CHOSEN to wait it out. If you’ve been made to feel the way you should, you will WANT swallow what is coming to you… but if you’re not having your scratch itched, it could also brighten up the most boring of sessions.

MEN: don’t be scared of pussy juice… it won’t scald you… or turn your skin green. If you’re reading this and saying something along the lines of ‘I don’t go down for nobody’, then YOUR missing out… TRUST ME!

WOMEN: what is there to say about swallowing that you don’t already know? Nothing… just make it wet and deep and God bless ya!

DON’TS

 6.

 BODIES ARE NOT TOYS – whether you stroke the dick with too much kung-fu grip or your fingernails are too long to slide inside, you gotta make sure that YOU are representing yourself. Groom yaself, take care of the body you bring to the table and the body you are trying to please… it is there for your pleasure, not for you to treat like some old t-shirt that you paint in.

WOMEN: a few things to always remember – a strong grip on a dick isn’t ALWAYS necessary. Sometimes, men keep quiet, but we don’t like for our head’s to look like they’re about to explode. Teeth too. You gotta remember to keep them teeths covered… they have ROUGH edges… a grimace isn’t always in pleasure.

MEN: groping is fine to an extent but you have to be given the permission, otherwise keep it smooth and constantly moving. Another thing, not ALL women like a ‘rammer jammer’ in bed so don’t think that ramming her THROUGH the headboard will make her come. I did say, not all, because there is a fair share of women who don’t mind that all night long.

 7.

KEEP TOILET GAMES IN THE TOILET – not much of a fan of being pissed or shit on to be honest… but some people do… to each their own… but, if you ARE into that type of thing, MAKE SURE the other person is too. Because you don’t want her to be coming like a geyser then you stand over her and take a number two. This touches on ‘DO number 5’, but men HAVE to know the difference between a woman coming in their mouth and a woman peeing. If you don’t then… HAHAHAHAHA… take that shit to the grave… YOU got caught slipping.

MEN: just don’t do it.

WOMEN: just don’t do it either… leave the golden showers for private time on the can.

 8.

SENSES – it’s one thing for your body to not be into it, but for your eyes and mouth to show disinterest is a REAL mood killer. If you’re lying there, like a rag doll, forcing yourself into position, huffing and puffing when something feels wrong, rolling your eyes, fixing up your mouth like you’d rather be drunk, etc. It’s not a good look. And, in turn, the performance from both participants will suffer and the orgasm could just be to get it out the way so one of you can sleep. Why are you fucking in the first place?

WOMEN: though a lot of sexual emphasis regarding sounds is put on women, you DO make our engines roar when we hear the road enjoying the ride. If you’re not feeling it, it’s better to keep it real and just say, ‘you know what, we need to stop!’ Better that then feeding his ego, making him feel like he ROCKED the Casbah, when really, you were mentally fucking someone else.

MEN: do not restrict your vocab in the moment to ‘uh’, ‘oh’, ‘um’, ‘yeah’, ‘that’s it’ and, my personal favourite, ‘oh yeah’. Give it some variation, throw a, ‘bet you can’t get it all in your mouth’, or a sly, ‘look how big your mouth is, I know you can do better’. (Though the last one could STOP everything and turn her into, ‘what do you mean my mouth is big? What, you saying I talk too much? See, I knew it… my girlfriends told me about you.’ And you watch her walk away. So CAREFUL!)

 
9.

 WALK THE STRUT IF YOU’VE TALKED THE GAME – there is nothing worse than bragging about your CRAZY head game or your WEST BANK dick that will have her screaming, ‘GAZAMISEH’… and NOT delivering the product advertised. Don’t promise a porn star performance if you know you only need two positions to get your nut and drop to a quick slumber. Keep it real with yourself. Only offer what your willing to give. That way there’s no expectations.

WOMEN: Give him what he ordered or what you provided for him on the menu… if you’re willing to go that extra mile, let him know, or spring it on him when his mind is somewhere else.

MEN: okay… now… men have a tendency to talk a good game more than women do. But that’s because the onus is put on men to MAKE the sex good for both of you. Plus, it’s not our fault… unfortunately, and it’s yet to be scientifically proven, but, our dicks sometimes speak for us. So when the opportunity to talk sex arises, so does our junior selves. And they like to talk about all the things they can do, based on past experiences, but every time is different. So don’t think that you’ll be able to fuck for four hours like you did with your ex, and then come after five minutes. Which leads me on to my next point… you cannot… repeat CANNOT blame a case of premature ejaculation on her ‘good pussy’. They don’t buy it guys.

 10.

SEX TOOL KIT – sex is not a plaster on a stab wound of a relationship, it will not FIX your problems, mend your broken heart or define your status on this planet. It will make you feel good for… as long as you can make it last for. Someone is thinking about having sex right now for all the wrong reasons, but, to them, they can’t see anything but legs in the air. It is a temporary euphoric release that dissipates after you’ve caught your breath after an orgasm… or had that bomb diggy nap. Because if you’re having sex to hide, mask or fix something, the pain of the wound will still be there.

WOMEN: rule sex, don’t let it rule you.

MEN: it may seem like the GALICE thing to do but sex is not a badge of honour.

Maybe you agree with my do’s and don’ts, maybe you think I’m way off, but, hey, you’ve been entertained!

Be good with it…

Peace and hair grease

Mr Oh

DON’T FORGET: Little Black Book – OUT NOW via amazon and all good internet and book shops

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