Tag Archives: brain

It’s a blowjob

For some this is the end all be all of sex.
No complex positions.
It gets no better than a good night of this.
Sometimes requires a flexible wrist.
It serves as a brilliant alarm clock.
A time when a sloppy job is the cherry on top.
The more daring you dare to be with it the better.
Can be a good indication of his stamina.
Many a man have FULLY crossed the bridge into ‘I’M COMING’ before anything has really gotten started.
Rough works with the smooth.
Watch him hold your head for a better groove.
Eye contact is fine and dandy.
Moist grips are handy.
A quick fix when he’s felling randy.

Yep, that’s right, I’m talking about the blowjob.
Oral sex for men.
The session starter or the event finisher.
A soft ride on an ocean wave or a trip to the dirtiest parts of ANY hood in the world.

Known by many MANY variations all over the world, blowjobs are also known as fellatio, getting a hummer, oral sex, razzmatazz, dome, slurping and burping, brain, cocky shakedown, slob on my knob, Becky (Miss Becky if ya nasty), smoking the pole, washing Big Ben, neck, global warming, Nicki skins, knowledge, Monica Lewinsky, shines (or shiner), special kiss, dinner, Vicki Minaj, skull fucking, dessert, karoake for one, blowie, milking, sucky sucky, sloppy top, jerk, talking to the trouser snake, spit on the mic, space travel, just the tip, head wash, cock sucking, mic check, child-minding, blessed assurance, tongue Braille, giving the stump speech, heavenly, koko lick, or special attention (R.I.P. Bernie Mac), lip service, good mouth, bust down, the flag salute, tongue twisting, skulliosis, library time… whatever you call it, the practice is the same.

It’s the act of a penis in the mouth.

I’m not quite sure where the name blowjob came from but there are apparently two trains of thought for it’s origin.
In Victorian times it was apparently called the ‘below-job’ relating to being below a man’s waist when doing your thang. The other train of thought is that the term ‘blow’ is when a man comes and he blows, a la a volcano.
The job part is obviously because it can feel like a long shift at work when that dick just won’t come. But we’ll get to technique later.

Whatever it’s called, wherever the name came from, whoever came up with it, who had the first one, it does NOT matter.
Porn style, home style or dry style, it’s all the same suck.

Guess we should start off with the negatives…

There are still women out there who refuse to lend their knowledge to a man’s member. Not because they don’t know him that well and don’t wanna do it yet or they don’t feel comfortable sucking THIS particular dick, but because they just DON’T do it.
You know ’em, I know ’em, men have met her when she’s kissed a stomach then, instead of going lower, she comes back up like she got lost.
When she is asked about head, or if the subject even comes up, she either cringes, frowns or offers her opinion on the subject, which is usually, ‘nah, I’m not into them kinda things.’
You gotta get your Chris Rock voice on like, “you look at women like that like a damn Betamax like, ‘they still make you’?”
But you really DO look at them like, ‘DO they still make you?’
I mean damn gurl, that’s soOoOoOoOoOo 1995 (unless you weren’t born then.)

The worst thing is trying to convince someone to suck ya dick. It’s not as enjoyable as when a woman goes there before you even have to ask.
Like Chris Rock, my FAVOURITE women are those who like nothing better than to suck a dick. Those women who make it their life’s work to make it seem like they are the start and end of all blowjobs.
A woman who knows how to work her wrist and her tongue at the same time that she squeezes the smallest amount of saliva onto the head of a dick.
That lady who will hold onto a man’s member and look up ay him, asking with her eyes, ‘what do you want me to do?’
Who gives you the look just before disappearing below your waistline.
She’s not scared to moisten up her palm and lick the sides just before taking the length of it into her throat in a feat of magic and OH MY GOD WHERE DID IT GO?!

Oh yeah, men really do like those women… don’t always meet ’em but when they do, they try everything to keep them around. Unless they come with drama, issues and problems that make them more trouble than their worth to have around.
Usually the way.

God bless ya… ALL…

You know who you are…
You know where they live and you know just how good your skills are don’t ya miss lady?!
Ain’t no shame in your game?
You OWN that dick when you have it don’t ya?
You know your man’s dick better than he knows it himself… you know when you take it deep and stick ya tongue out how much he likes that on a Sunday morning.

The woman that loves have a dick in her mouth is in no way, shape or form a hoe, a tramp, a bitch, a skank, a smut or anything of the like. Okay, sometimes she can be… but just because she likes to have a penis between her jaws, doesn’t make her so. She could just like what she does.
And be very good at it.
Some men have spent time lost in the thoughts of HOW she got to be so good at doing what she does, but who fucking cares? Just enjoy the swallowship she earned and get that higher learning (okay, 51 terms for head).

To suck a dick well, for him, is to make your mouth feel as good if not better than the pussy will be. If you think about good head, you will notice that the head feels really good when the mouth at your disposal feels, grinds and grooves like a vagina.
Hands, saliva, technique, etc. will all be looked at and covered in-depth so… let’s get it in…

Okay, there are many ways to suck a good penis. Some ways take simple technique, some require multi-tasking of the highest degree. But here are a few tips on what to do and what to use to give that good sloppy toppy…

HANDle ya biznass…

Blowjobs aren’t just about the mouth involved. Oh no no no… there are plenty of other factors and activities to take into account and one of them is ya hands. Sure a guy likes it when a woman can suck a dick with no hands (controlling it with her mouth) but you also have to know the right grip to put on it. No one likes the G.I Joe kung fu grip because the head inflates, it looks more like a mushroom cloud after a nuclear explosion.
A woman’s hand, compared to a man’s is soft and gentle like the hair treatment. So that is the same kinda grip you have to bring to the job when your employed.
Soft hands, slipping OVER the skin as opposed to gripping the dick up, is preferred… but don’t be scared to give it a it of a strong tug every now and then. But not too much…
Another hand aspect is all about your wrist work. A flexible wrist is your best friend and keeps ya man happy when your taking a deep breath after taking it in the back of ya throat for too long.
Up and down twist is a preferred favourite, which means you work ya hand up and down and twist ya hand so ya grip moves around the dick at the same time.
During sloppy time, this grip is the bomb diggy.
If you really wanna get up with the down stroke, use both hands, like Superhead taught ya. (If ya of an older school then what Kitten and Janet Jac’me taught ya.)

Mouth

Giving a blowjob is a LOT more difficult than just opening ya mouth into an ‘O’ and moving ya lips on it.

C’MON SON!

There is much more to do.
This section is probably the most important when it comes to blowjobs because, without the mouth, it’s just… a man masturbating.
A woman’s mouth, as sexy as it is when words are coming out of it, is the source for all pleasure when giving a blowjob so it is necessary that you keep it moving and changing with it. What I mean is don’t get trapped pursing your lips into a tight little sphincter… mix it up…
Do that for a bit but then open ya mouth wide and let your lips surround his entire dick. Like take it deep… if you can’t take it deep, take it as far as you can… but show him that your lips are open enough to TRY…
Don’t let lockjaw beat ya either…
Sometimes the dreaded lock up kicks in and you feel like you need to stop for a while otherwise you might get stuck like that and that is NOT the one to have to explain in a hospital emergency room.
Keep the mouth moist. No one likes a dry mouth. At all.
It’s like sex with no sound or fuck faces.
What’s the point?

Tongue and saliva

Since mouth was the last, might as well keep it in the same area and talk about the tongue and saliva. Sort of like the shoes and matching handbag for a sexy outfit.
Ya tongue during a blowjob is like second gear in a car… it’s a better gear, you can go faster and you can even start the car in that gear.
Don’t be a victim and let it sit in the base of your mouth doing nothing while your lips do all the work. That’s a punks way out.
You have no idea how much extra pleasure you’re NOT delivering by keeping it silent or still. Get it out there. Flick it around, stretch it out, poke it in and out really quickly, curl it AROUND the dick… work it baby WORK IT!!!
The sensation of your mouth working how it’s working is one thing but throw in the tongue, with its top taste bud side and smooth slippery side, and you are giving him another realm of pleasure all together.
A real good head-er can make a man come with just her tongue running along the underside of his dick, because she knows.
What does she know?!
She knows that the right treatment on the underside of the dick is the good groove to the song called Make Him Buss.
If you’ve ever done this, then you know but sometimes, it’s a nice lil trick to take him in on some deepthroat. Then, if your blessed with the skills to pull this off, stick ya tongue out and see if you can lick his balls at the same time.
OoOoOo… if you can get the balls into your mouth at the same time, call it the dick dog. (The dick dog is when you wrap a testicle around the dick and offer it on the table like a hot dog.)

With the tongue, you gotta throw some saliva in there. You just gotta.
You gotta gotta gotta…

Dammit woman, you GOTTA!
As I said before, no one likes a dry mouth or dry anything when it comes to sex for that matter. The wetter the better.
Saliva, spit, slob, whatever you call it, is a MAJOR addition and MAJOR pleasure when it comes to getting some head.
Men, not all, love a bit of sloppy treatment when it comes to conditions of the brain.
WOW… the sloppier the better!
Sometimes, a man can see when a woman doesn’t mind getting the dick wet but doesn’t go the WHOLE hog and spit on the dick!

DO THAT!!!
He wants you to do it… you may feel a little out of character considering people spend time trying to keep saliva IN their mouths but, as I said, the wetter the better.
Here’s a good one… spit a nice, frothy, glob on the top of his dick and then take it nice and deep… the spit, with her lips, should end up around the base of his dick nice and slippery.
It’s a move I learned from Lethal Lipps.

Technique

How do you suck a dick?!
If you haven’t figured out how to do it so far then damn, you need to watch a little porn…
Specifically watch artists like Italia Blue, Lacey Duvall and Lethal Lipps… Oh boy, watch she…
If you don’t know how to suck a dick… she will SHOW you some thangs…

When I was thinking of writing this blog, someone gave me some advice on what to write and they said:

“Circle your tongue around the head, the tongue has different textures. Taste buds on top, rougher in comparison to under the tongue where its smoother and there’s a groove in the middle. If you like, crunch ice/ or small ice cubes, and slow such, warm n cold contrast. Lick from the base of the dick, and follow that vein. Hold the just the head between soft warm lips, and lick tip with tip of tongue, then suddenly take in all of the cocky, like when I chick is bouncing on the tip of the dick, then she slams down. Stare at it, admire it, using the whole tongue,just lick it, spit on it (not that you do that with a chupa chup), enjoy it, moan, either close eyes and take it all in, or stare directly at him, right into his soul. Massage the balls gently, lick them too, become friendly and moist and cream him with your cream. She gets to taste her on him. When he feels like he’s getting close, slow down, the motion. French kiss the head, don’t tuck/ fold in lips, expose them so he feels the fullness of her lips all over the head…And turn your own head while sucking it in an up and down motion.”

There is technique all over this quote…
I won’t say who sent it to me but, I imagine they know what they’re talking about.

This has been a mammoth journey through dick sucking, head giving, knowledge lending and mouth fucking… but by the time you read this, if you’ve never blessed a mic in ya life, you should feel more than confident to drop some slob on the top, swallow some pre-cum before it pops and feel his cock hit that deep spot.

Blowjobs are cool.
They can be a quick fix during half-time or a special moment when it happens for the first time. It can be something that is an understood agreement between two friends or a special moment when you are lucky enough to be blessed with the best blowjob you’ve ever imagined you could receive.
Foreskin or no foreskin, which is another blog post all together, a blowjob is really REALLY nice.
Sure some women feel degraded for being on their knees in front of a man but, if that’s the case, sit on the sofa and do it or lie on top of him in a 67 + 2 motion.

Either way, lick it, suck it, nibble the head of it, bite it softly, hum on it lovely… but whatever you do…

Just do it…

1)You may like it and
2)He’ll definitely thank you for it!

By Mr Oh

50 BLOG POSTS…WHOOOO HOOOOO!!!!

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Sex outside the bedroom

Awwwww, come on now…

Don’t be acting like I’m the only one who knows about sex outside the bedroom.
How damn right sexy it is?
How unbelievably delicious it can be?
The way it makes you wanna rush home and find the one you want and give them a seeing to that makes them cling on to within an inch of their life.
The imagery of orgasms that are conjured up in places that are not ya usual bedroom, kitchen, front room, stairs, bathroom, airing cupboard, the office, your boss’s office, the shop floor, your garden, parent’s bed or round the back of the church (if you like to get secular with it).

Sex outside the bedroom, though it sounds like I’m talking about… sex outside the bedroom isn’t in fact about sex outside the bedroom.

Allow me to elaborate…

Sex.
Outside the bedroom.

We have it every second of every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year… up until we get old and can’t FUNCTION in those kind of places anymore.
A lot of you allow yourselves to indulge in regular sex that takes place so regularly that you’d be mistaken for Charlie Harper the way your swinging it around.
But your not… swinging it around, so to speak.
Your not putting yourself at risk of any tagalong diseases, accidental pregnancy or any dramas connected to emotions and feelings. Well maybe feelings, but we’ll broach that bridge later.

Sex outside the bedroom is the culture of using your mind to FUCK every and anyone you see. And it all takes place within the safe confines of the mind. That way no one can get hurt or try and tell you about your small dick.
A walk down a busy Oxford Street on a hot day for a full, red-blooded man is a rampant affair of the mind.
But that’s not to say that women don’t engage in such a harmless practice.
In fact, such thinking can sometimes be a deja vu moment for the future, if that makes any sense. Because how you think about doing said person could be the way you end up doing them if you follow up and make the fantasy a reality.

When was the last time you looked at somone in a picture or on TV or saw Gabrielle Union or Idris Elba and what was your first thought?
Something along the lines of ‘caged animal loving’, where you are pounced in the corner waiting for the moment to strike and take ’em down with a mid-section tackle.

Sex in the mind is a healthy release, not just for those who are planning ahead but for those who aren’t getting any in the first place. The thoughts and the feeling it inspires can fuel masturbation sessions for days, weeks to come… pardon the pun.
Plus it’s safe too, no split condoms, no quick dips “just for a second”, just mental arrangement of how her thighs will spread and how wet she will be.
Any one out there knows that sex really starts in the mind before it goes to any physical plateau. Which is what makes it so damn tasty.
In ya mind, you don’t have to deal with things that delay or damage sex in the real world like periods, change of minds, family visiting round, cock-blocking friends who just WON’T go home, etc.
In ya mind, there is nothing but you and that person who is in there with you.
And because it’s in your mind, it can be whoever you want it to be.
This is a situation where Beyonce can be on her knees looking up at you while you sing, “To the LEFT, to the LEFFFT” or can come on Amber Rose’s bald head without having to worry about random tweets from Wiz Khalifa or Kanye West about the fact your tasting THEIR dick when you fuck her.

It’s your imagination… in there she asked you to and you gladly obliged.
If you wanna get a little bit interesting with it, you can see what the chick who played Precious is like in the sack without having to worry about having your picture snapped with her. (Am I the only one who wondered? Is that a tumbleweed I see? Lol)

Beautiful thing about the mind is that sex with someone can and WILL pop up anytime. You could be sitting in your weekly meeting, fiddling with a pen, listening to the boss drag on about the usual random crap about the company and how there are standards to uphold and you look across to the member of staff with the strong thighs and the skirt that shows a bit more leg than usual.
That could kick in a series of dirty thoughts that have the pair of you sitting in an empty meeting room. You don’t know where all the other staff have gone, really you don’t care. It’s just you and her.
This means you can go under the table and start the ride between her thighs, spread her on the table like Christmas dinner and do all the debauchery actions things you’ve always wanted to do in your mind.
You may NEVER get to do those things to said person so ya mind may go into some interesting places, doing things you may never do in real life.
That’s the beauty of the mind.

Oh, I almost forgot about what the mind does with lips.
The mind, for some people, takes a pair of thick, full lips and puts them right where they’re needed.
Side of the neck. (I know someone shivered just now.)
An earlobe.
On a nipple.
Between the thighs.
In ya ass…

It’s your mind so your allowed to think it even if you don’t do it.

It’s pure, free, unedited, makes you smile thinking that you can indulge in without having to go through the rigamarole of putting in work just to achieve the image that your mind has created.
You can fuck like a sailor if your a soft and gentle rider, you can make someone the filthiest person in your mind without having to find out if they are that way inclined.
You can fuck the person that is TOTALLY out of your reach while looking at them and they have no idea what is going on in your mind.
If only they knew.
But you know.
Oh, YOU know.
Don’t cha?!
What did they do to you in your mind?!

Was it good?!

Sometimes, it’s better to keep it in the mind.
You could take those thoughts and put them into the reality of your world and come out disappointed and pissed off thinking, ‘that’s not how I saw it in my mind’.
And that’s the worst.
Because it then ruins the fantasy you had of the person.

So, next time you have sex outside of the bedroom, and indulge in your mind, make sure you go ALL IN!
Rip some clothes, don’t play with it, throw in some major rough housing, TAKE the orgasm, swallow the juice…
It’s ya mind…
It’s safe and free…
Tasty…
Whether you throw down like so in reality is up to thee…

But you will always have that special time in your mind where it was just you and them. No one gets hurt… just straight pleasure.

It’s funny when you get to meet the person who filled your mind.
You think to yourself, “you have NO idea what I did to you in my head last night…”

They have NO idea…

But you do…
Don’t cha!?

By Mr Oh

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