Tag Archives: mind

I should stop answering to you

How many times have you been a victim to this anytime figure?

You may have looked at the situation like, ‘no way, not again’ then before you knew it, you were face down ass up and confused as a mofo! Or behind the ass up thinking, ‘I swear I said no’.

Men and women both own the power of it, you cannot explain it, understand it or figure it out… but you are willing to go back for it…
Sheeeeet, you’ve taken roadtrips for it…

Worst of all, you’ve turned into a cheater for it!

This is one of the most powerful motherfuckers in all of sex.
And when you find it, you may not want to give it up, you may not want to taste it after the first sip… but your GONNA…
Aren’t ya?

This is a blog post dedicated to the sexiest of all sexy asses.
You know who you are you moral-less, need it when you need it, insatiable beings of pleasure you!

When you meet this type of person, you find yourself making questionable decisions, your morals and pre-made decisions go right out the window and things you previously said you would never do are getting done.
This is what that person does.
I will put down a free copy of one of my books that you either know someone like that NOW, you met someone like that, you deleted someone off ya phone like that or you’re being done by that person right now.

But who are they?!

THEY are the itch scratchers, the back rubbers, the thigh biters and the neck massagers… they are ready at any time, they ALWAYS know how to make you smile (whether up above or down below) and, most importantly, they don’t care if you have a partner or not.
That’s what they do.
They are trying to be that distraction in your life in order to deliver one thing and one thing only… a nut for you! (And for them obviously… they don’t pop up just to ‘cuddle’… unless that’s how you leave ’em after YOU come.)

But they will not stop until you come.
Because that’s what they wanna do. And you know that’s what they do!
That’s why you’re making questionable decisions about them in order to have them in your general vicinity.
There is something about the way they hold your dick when its time for the get down, or there is something so sloppy about her head game that you can’t stop thinking about them… or stop them from calling.
Even if you are in a situation where you are not supposed to be calling or entertaining these people, they STILL manage to get through to you.
But they know that.
They know that they can start a conversation talking about your partner and by the end of the conversation, have you planning your next hook-up.

Don’t play dumb, it’s only you and me here… you don’t have to say it out loud but you might remember their name.
You’ve been there… you may not tell ya closest friends about it… but you’ve done it! (If you haven’t good for you….)

You’ve told a lie to someone and made plans. You’ve made sure that there is no scope for anyone popping round on a random visit thing. You were asked about a message and you made up some random lie saying it was from a friend when really it wasn’t. You just want what you want!
That’s why you’ve set up this little tryst…
For some reason, there is something they do that you just cannot get enough of, nor can you find a way to get your current partner to do you the same way.

There is a certain power in BEING that person who makes the phone call to the person that you probably know you’re not supposed to be calling. They know your not supposed to be calling… but just the fact that they answered means they know but don’t care.
That’s the power you wield as the caller.
What that does, as the person who is misbehaving and receiving the call, is fuels you and your memories and the last time you had that person inside you. And the urge to have them again takes over and before you know it, someone has their legs in their air, moaning in a way that silently says, “Why don’t THEY make me feel like this?”

If you haven’t met this person in your lifetime then maybe you’ve BEEN that person.
OoOoOoOo… if you have then you KNOW what I’m talking about.

There is something in the way that they walk, the way they move, the way they look at you, the way they touch you that makes you wanna do something you know good and damn well your not supposed to be doing.
It’s not even like things are wrong in ya relationship to push you into the arms of another, it’s just the way they do SOMETHING!
Maybe it’s their eyes…

Who knows…

But we know they exist… they are the naughty people in the back who always know how to press THAT freaking button. The button that makes you do something you KNOW is damn wrong… but DAMN they make it feel good don’t they?!

These DANGEROUS motherfuckers aren’t concerned about your relationship or whatever you got going on. They don’t care about your mama or your job, your recent weight gain, or the ‘tell me about ya day and that bitch at work’ game… they just care about getting that nut… and giving you that nut!
And you want that nut don’t ya?!

Because you remember how the postman/woman delivers… everytime.

It IS possible to ignore these people, to tell these people no, to fight the moisture or the erection growing between ya thighs. It IS doable… because you have morals and standards and you’ve decided that if you are in a relationship then there is no sex out there that can change that.
It WILL always try, tagged to the end of a slick voiced, smooth talking, sloppy speaking, sexual favours offering, dirty thinking, filthy minded person, but you just hold on strong!

Don’t listen to them.
Don’t pay them any attention.
Don’t give ’em any time.
Don’t even look at ’em in the eye.
Because they are slick…
They’ve got John Blaze shit!
And they know how to use it…

It’s what they do…

So watch ya back…
Someone out there is looking at you or has just seen you after a long time and is planning to call ya…

So hide ya wife, hide ya husband, hide ya mistress, because those sexy motherfuckers are gonna be fucking everything round hurr…

Mr Oh

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Sex outside the bedroom

Awwwww, come on now…

Don’t be acting like I’m the only one who knows about sex outside the bedroom.
How damn right sexy it is?
How unbelievably delicious it can be?
The way it makes you wanna rush home and find the one you want and give them a seeing to that makes them cling on to within an inch of their life.
The imagery of orgasms that are conjured up in places that are not ya usual bedroom, kitchen, front room, stairs, bathroom, airing cupboard, the office, your boss’s office, the shop floor, your garden, parent’s bed or round the back of the church (if you like to get secular with it).

Sex outside the bedroom, though it sounds like I’m talking about… sex outside the bedroom isn’t in fact about sex outside the bedroom.

Allow me to elaborate…

Sex.
Outside the bedroom.

We have it every second of every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year… up until we get old and can’t FUNCTION in those kind of places anymore.
A lot of you allow yourselves to indulge in regular sex that takes place so regularly that you’d be mistaken for Charlie Harper the way your swinging it around.
But your not… swinging it around, so to speak.
Your not putting yourself at risk of any tagalong diseases, accidental pregnancy or any dramas connected to emotions and feelings. Well maybe feelings, but we’ll broach that bridge later.

Sex outside the bedroom is the culture of using your mind to FUCK every and anyone you see. And it all takes place within the safe confines of the mind. That way no one can get hurt or try and tell you about your small dick.
A walk down a busy Oxford Street on a hot day for a full, red-blooded man is a rampant affair of the mind.
But that’s not to say that women don’t engage in such a harmless practice.
In fact, such thinking can sometimes be a deja vu moment for the future, if that makes any sense. Because how you think about doing said person could be the way you end up doing them if you follow up and make the fantasy a reality.

When was the last time you looked at somone in a picture or on TV or saw Gabrielle Union or Idris Elba and what was your first thought?
Something along the lines of ‘caged animal loving’, where you are pounced in the corner waiting for the moment to strike and take ’em down with a mid-section tackle.

Sex in the mind is a healthy release, not just for those who are planning ahead but for those who aren’t getting any in the first place. The thoughts and the feeling it inspires can fuel masturbation sessions for days, weeks to come… pardon the pun.
Plus it’s safe too, no split condoms, no quick dips “just for a second”, just mental arrangement of how her thighs will spread and how wet she will be.
Any one out there knows that sex really starts in the mind before it goes to any physical plateau. Which is what makes it so damn tasty.
In ya mind, you don’t have to deal with things that delay or damage sex in the real world like periods, change of minds, family visiting round, cock-blocking friends who just WON’T go home, etc.
In ya mind, there is nothing but you and that person who is in there with you.
And because it’s in your mind, it can be whoever you want it to be.
This is a situation where Beyonce can be on her knees looking up at you while you sing, “To the LEFT, to the LEFFFT” or can come on Amber Rose’s bald head without having to worry about random tweets from Wiz Khalifa or Kanye West about the fact your tasting THEIR dick when you fuck her.

It’s your imagination… in there she asked you to and you gladly obliged.
If you wanna get a little bit interesting with it, you can see what the chick who played Precious is like in the sack without having to worry about having your picture snapped with her. (Am I the only one who wondered? Is that a tumbleweed I see? Lol)

Beautiful thing about the mind is that sex with someone can and WILL pop up anytime. You could be sitting in your weekly meeting, fiddling with a pen, listening to the boss drag on about the usual random crap about the company and how there are standards to uphold and you look across to the member of staff with the strong thighs and the skirt that shows a bit more leg than usual.
That could kick in a series of dirty thoughts that have the pair of you sitting in an empty meeting room. You don’t know where all the other staff have gone, really you don’t care. It’s just you and her.
This means you can go under the table and start the ride between her thighs, spread her on the table like Christmas dinner and do all the debauchery actions things you’ve always wanted to do in your mind.
You may NEVER get to do those things to said person so ya mind may go into some interesting places, doing things you may never do in real life.
That’s the beauty of the mind.

Oh, I almost forgot about what the mind does with lips.
The mind, for some people, takes a pair of thick, full lips and puts them right where they’re needed.
Side of the neck. (I know someone shivered just now.)
An earlobe.
On a nipple.
Between the thighs.
In ya ass…

It’s your mind so your allowed to think it even if you don’t do it.

It’s pure, free, unedited, makes you smile thinking that you can indulge in without having to go through the rigamarole of putting in work just to achieve the image that your mind has created.
You can fuck like a sailor if your a soft and gentle rider, you can make someone the filthiest person in your mind without having to find out if they are that way inclined.
You can fuck the person that is TOTALLY out of your reach while looking at them and they have no idea what is going on in your mind.
If only they knew.
But you know.
Oh, YOU know.
Don’t cha?!
What did they do to you in your mind?!

Was it good?!

Sometimes, it’s better to keep it in the mind.
You could take those thoughts and put them into the reality of your world and come out disappointed and pissed off thinking, ‘that’s not how I saw it in my mind’.
And that’s the worst.
Because it then ruins the fantasy you had of the person.

So, next time you have sex outside of the bedroom, and indulge in your mind, make sure you go ALL IN!
Rip some clothes, don’t play with it, throw in some major rough housing, TAKE the orgasm, swallow the juice…
It’s ya mind…
It’s safe and free…
Tasty…
Whether you throw down like so in reality is up to thee…

But you will always have that special time in your mind where it was just you and them. No one gets hurt… just straight pleasure.

It’s funny when you get to meet the person who filled your mind.
You think to yourself, “you have NO idea what I did to you in my head last night…”

They have NO idea…

But you do…
Don’t cha!?

By Mr Oh

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Such a simple sentence

There is something about it.

The idea of it plays with your mind and to see it is like when you watched Seven and found out that it was his wife’s head in the box,

Basically, it leaves your mouth open.

Every freaking time.

There is no way a woman can say this to you and you don’t think to yourself, “DON’T LIE!”

It is a powerful sentence that, once said, can completely change the complexion of an evening, or even a single moment in time.

You could be doing one thing, hear this sentence, and completely forget what you were doing.

Women have mouthed these words from a distance and fucked up a dude’s train of thought.

Your good good friend from way back, the friend who you’ve never looked at in that way can say this to you and turn a friendship into some next shit.

All because she said those words to you.

Sometimes they can make you react quite wildly, and possibly rip something in return. But it’s not your fault, it’s hers.

ALL hers.

She couldn’t keep her mouth shut could she?

You could’ve gone quite well without knowing and now it’s all you can think about.

But she knew that.

Why oh why did she have to tell you she wasn’t wearing any underwear?

Why?

Now you’re head is clouded.

You could’ve been in the middle of a sentence and she said that to you and now you can’t remember WHAT the hell you were saying.

Or worse, she could’ve showed you!

Oh God, don’t let her do that!

Women, at times, wear clothes that fortunately look or feel better without underwear. VPL is the enemy of women and to avoid such a bastard on their swag, women will go without any underwear on.

Usually with dresses, skirts, etc. but also with trousers, jeans (ahhh, I do love a good camel) and tracksuit bottoms (with the loose elastic so you could slip a hand right down there and… WOOOOSAAAAH)

But she’ll wait until she is wearing something that will allow you to possibly find out whether or not she is telling the truth.

I’m telling you, if you’re a guy reading this, you know what I mean. If you’re a bi-woman you know what I’m talking about.

Fuck it, if you’ve ever looked at a woman and thought, ‘yessur I would’ then you know what I’m talking about.

So crafty a sentence, it is also a statement of intent.

Don’t think she told you that because she just felt like ‘sharing’.

*Bernie Mac voice* That’s bawlshit!

There is never a time a woman will tell you that she isn’t wearing any panties in order to make her more aerodynamic on the dancefloor.

Or she is panty-less in order to let her brand new tramp stamp tattoo heel.

That’s crap, crap and thong-less crap!

If a woman tells you she’s got nothing on underneath her outfit, you best to know you have carte blanche to find out.

  • In a restaurant.
  • In a club.
  • At home watching TV.
  • Sunday dinner with the parents.
  • Extra long queue at Tescos.
  • A changing room in Primark.
  • The movies.
  • Anywhere.

What such a sentence does is that it makes you feel like you HAVE to know whether or not it is true.

And the finding out is the next part of the fun.

You may go straight for a cheek massage to find out quick and easy, you may go a little further up to check for a thong but you like to know then and there.

A more fun way is to take it slow with it.

Let her know with your touch that you are going to find out… you’re just gonna be slow with it.

  • Start with a single hand on the small of her back.
  • Run your hands along her waist, feeling for the elastic of underwear.
  • When you feel nothing, which you hopefully should, return to the small of her back. A thong triangle usually sits there.
  • If it ISN’T then she just might have been telling the truth.
  • She might actually have no underwear on.
  • You might have to go for a cheek caress to find out.
  • Best technique is slide a hand down from her back straight down the middle and then across a cheek of your choice.
  • What your hoping to feel is nothing but smoothness all the way do to her thigh.
  • A little eye contact between you should ensue because, at this point, you both know that there is only one other way for him to find out whether or not you are telling the truth.
  • One conclusive, definite way to find out if you are walking the talk.

That hand is gonna have to wander to warmer climates.

All this should transpire in about a minute but the thoughts that that 60 seconds feeds is enough to keep you going until you are able to REALLY do something about it.

The mind fuck of it all is what makes it so sweet. Because she already knows whether or not she is lying but you don’t.

And she enjoys watching you find out.

And he enjoys trying to find out.

If you’ve proclaimed yourself panty-less, your hoping he’ll get close enough to find out anyway so it’s all moo (see: Joey from Friends)

The sweet simplicity of such a sinfully saccharine sentence is what it does to the mind.

Especially if it is dropped appropriately… or inappropriately as the case maybe.

I say inappropriately because the true freaky people out there know about the sexual pleasure that can be found in being able to tease someone in an environment where they are not able to do anything about it.

Strolling the aisles of Tescos on a Friday night, doing the weekly shop isn’t the place to whisper that you are not wearing any underwear as you bend over to pick up a bag of Basmati rice… but what you’ve done is made him watch your thighs, trying to find out if you are or not. But it may not necessarily be appropriate to be groping each other in Tescos on a Friday night with families and shit all over the place.

But she knew what she was doing when she that.

She wanted to fuck with you.

Or, and this one is a REAL mind fuck, she tells you over the phone.

AAAAAAAHHHH…

Since teleporatation hasn’t be scientifically proven to be fincially viable on the NHS, them words over the phone are just unnecessary.

A general description of something your wearing over the phone sucks because you can’t do anything to see it… unless it becomes picture, or better yet, video call time.

I mean, think about the last time you heard a woman say to you, I’m not wearing any underwear.

Women may hear that all the time. To them, they can be going raving and be ready to walk out of the house and look in the mirror and see a VPL… then just slide the panties off, step out of them and put them in the purse like it’s nothing.

To a man, that’s a sexy ass thing to be in the presence of.

It’s not that we don’t know what you look like naked, but it’s the idea that your nakedness is covered to the world, but the private part of you is just… out…

With one lift of the back of your skirt… that’s all it would take…

Wanna make a man crazy without doing much?

Tell him you’re not wearing any underwear.

In fact try it out…

Randomly…

Pick someone in your phone and just text, tweet or message them and say ‘I’m not wearing any underwear…’ and you pretty much know the response your going to get.

As I said, it is such a crafty sentence because, between women, it is said in the tone of, ‘they were bothering me so I decided not to wear any.’

So off-hand, so meh…

What men hear is, ‘so my booty is right here and my pussy lips are sliding together all exposed… all you have to do is have a look.’

It’s weird to say this but a beautiful woman somehow becomes sexier when she chooses not to wear underwear and then tells you about it like it’s the explanation to the numbers in Lost (and I STILL don’t know what they are…)

That it is a secret that only you and her share.

You could be in a house party, just chilling, drinking, music is playing, joke is flowing, it’s all good.

You get up to get a drink, bend down to ask her what she’s wants to drink, thinking ‘yeah she’s looks good tonight’ then she pulls you close and tells you her drink order. You get YOUR drink first then she walks up to you, takes your drink then says, ‘I’m not wearing any panties tonight’.

Where are your eyes?

Where did you look as she walked away?

Exactly, you watched that walk with heavy concentration like it was CCTV footage.

What can you see?

What can’t you see?

Is she really not wearing any panties?

To really kick you while your down, she sits back down and folds her leg with the dirtiest smile before taking a long sip of your drink.

That woman is inciting you to do some shit!

Such a crafty sentence. Panty-less simplicity even.

Remember when Samuel Jackson ate the boy’s burger in Pulp Fiction, looking at him like, you can’t do shit and you know it.

That’s what that move was.

You don’t realise that she had you as soon as she whispered in your ear.

It was a like a slap in the face ‘cuz now, all that is on your mind is… *with a head tilt*

Is she?

By Mr Oh

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