Tag Archives: Mr Oh

Good clitoral behaviour

Here’s a question that didn’t make the ‘Questions for Grown freaks’ blog post but…

Women, how many men would you have thrown out of your bed, or how many beds would you have gotten out of if the other person didn’t know the correct prim and proper clitoris behaviour?
Would you have had as much sex as you’ve had if you got yo ass out the bed when said person treated your clit with the disrespect it didn’t deserve?

Clitoral behaviour is basic, old school training that everyone and their mama should know about. Ya mama probably knows about it too, though its not the type of thing you wanna think about.
Men may not realise but clitoral behaviour is very VERY important. It’s important to do it well but it’s also important to know it so you can do it right…

It wasn’t in any sex education class, nor did ya bredrins tell you about it when they spun their tales of sexual conquests.
The first time seeing pussy, I remember looking at a clitoris and thinking, ‘what the hell pleasure can you get from that little thing? Looks like the power button on a TV remote.’
Turns out there’s a lot of pleasure to be found behind the hood of a clitoris.
For some women, it’s more pleasurable than intercourse.
Many a man has met a woman thinking he is going to get some, only to get some clit play and sent on his way, pissed off.
But the clit is more than a power button… well… it IS a power button.
Press it the right way and you will get better than HD/3D results live.

Clitoral behaviour is about how you approach it, how you touch it, how you treat it, feel it, blow it, lick it, be one with it, define it… do what the hell it tells you to!
A woman’s whole libido can be thrown out the window if ya fingers are too eager to get between her smile without stopping at her clitoris. And if ya clit technique isn’t respectful, that’s another way to change a mood.
Or… and this is the worst, if ya getting hot and bothered and you, as a man, think ‘we’ve been kissing and grinding and groping long enough, I’m taking a finger and I’m going in.’ You slide a hand in, only to have it moved back UP to the clit.
Plenty of men have had this done and felt that momentary iota of shame, like, ‘dammit, should’ve gone clit first’.

So, first rule of clitoral behaviour…
Always go clit first when indulging in finger play. IF you know you have her wet enough to go finger first then do so but remember, playing with her clit can make her wet (if she isn’t) or make her wetter.

Next rule of good clitoral behaviour is about your method of massage. Now THIS rule is a very important one and your attention should be fully paid here. Why? Because you are, in essence, challenging her. I’ll explain…
A woman masturbates. And, when a woman masturbates, it’s something different to when a man does.
(Besides the obvious differences.)
A man wraps and works and that’s basically it, maybe he’ll spit on his palm first or lotion up but the premise is the same. So when it comes to a woman jerking him off, she is challenging his OWN technique to see if her own way of doing it matches up with his enough to make him come.

But, a woman, in all her splendorous splendor, needs more than just one way of working it when it comes to her clit.
When a woman plays with herself, fast fingers work but slow fingers also work. Up and down with one can be righteous at the RIGHT time but small circles with three fingers (two holding the lips open and one circling) can make her grab for the sheets.
She might enjoy two quick fingers brushing across from left to right, or a strong, periodic flick at the right time.
So many ways…

Where was I…?

Ah yes… paying attention…

The reason I said to pay attention is because, if you’ve managed to have her in a few different situations such as phone sex or been able to watch her masturbate, then you already know what she needs and how she needs it.
You already have the answers to the question she is asking in her head, which is, ‘will this motherfucker even know where my clit is?’
If you’re meeting someone new, and you haven’t crossed those voyeuristic bridges yet, then you’d have to go in blind. But, you gotta pay the same attention.
Pay attention to her.
Going in blind means you have to feel for her feeling.
Don’t think you can mimic ya trigger finger during a COD: Black Ops session on her clit.

Come on son.
Have some finesse with it.

Try different massages and finger combinations until you find that thang that makes her inhale her own breath, that makes her hug you real tight, that magically delicious thing that makes her hips start to wine and grind on ya fingers. (That’s quite easy to do when you have a finger or two inside her, but get her hips moving with some finger combinations on just her clit and you’ll feel proud of yourself.)
Once you found that something that she likes, don’t stick with it, keep it percolating… find what ELSE she likes, but keep THAT move in ya mental roladex.

Next rule of good clitoral behaviour is a short and simple one. Always remember, and never forget, to EXPOSE the clit. Before you play with it, lick it, grind on it, always expose it. A clit with a hoodie is like going to the hairdressers or barbers and having the best hairstyle ever, then covering it with a trucker cap. No one is getting to REALLY benefit.
You can play with a clit over the hood and be fine and dandy, but to let it out, free and exposed, that’s straight contact. And nothing beats straight contact.
Finger or tongue, nothing beats straight contact.

Next rule is… not to forget the clit!
Due to the fact that there are plenty of other good , fun, curvy rides on your theme park, men like to try and explore them all. And, okay, SOMETIMES, we forget about the rides we started on.
We can START there, move onto the having a finger inside, nipples reach mouths, panties come off, things wrap up, things slip in and before you know it, the casabah is rocking.
This is not true of all of us but it does happen.
If you know what ya doing then you already keep the clit alive and throbbing in whatever position you can reach it in. Even if you can’t reach it, you still seek it. (Doggystyle)
Good example of such is if a woman is on top and working like she’s TRYING to make you come.
Reach for it yes.
Good way to display her multi-tasking skills. Because if she’s got you right where she needs you, the introduction of clit play will bring another level of pleasure. She may try and move ya hand. But notice I did say TRY.

I can’t throw in a rule about how to EAT a pussy using good clitoral behaviour… every man is different… plus I’ve blogged about such subjects before (see: Submissive Pussy Eaters and All about eating pussy… tips, tricks & secret licks)
But I will say be gentle with it.
Again, exposing the clit let’s you get that straight contact. And even if your technique sucks (pardon the pun) she can at least get something out of it, hopefully.
Put your tongue in the same gear as ya finger was before and make it work for ya.
Since you’re there, dip ya tongue inside a few times then come back to the clit for a VERY nice sound from her. (Go head, try it, I’ll wait…)

While I’m waiting, I’ll finally say that the basics of good clitoral behaviour all start and end with paying attention to her!
If you know how your lady likes her lower level played with then you already know what your doing, but, for someone tasting someone new for the first time, you gotta make sure pay attention to her.
It’s so simple and, really if we did it more when it came to observing good clitoral behaviour, you’d probably be squirting by now (unless your one of those lucky ladies who changes her sheets REGULARLY!)

In a situation where you feel you are displaying good behaviour and she takes ya hand or fingers and SHOWS you how to do it, OBVIOUSLY you might feel a little way about it. Like you don’t know what your doing. But don’t take it so.
Take the guide and the movement hints and make it work for ya.
Adapt it… but not too much… she might it like just like that…

Just… like… that…

So the next time you have the opportunity to make with the massage at clit o’clock, take these rules with you and see how well you observe good clitoral behaviour.

If you’ve done it right then she will be letting you know how well you did.

By Mr Oh

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Ride it like you stole it

Right leg here, left leg far over there…

You may be humping and thumping, the bed might be bumping and the boots maybe knocking but, what is your technique saying?
Is there regular, consistent flow?
Are you keeping it interesting and ice dripping, making your partner not know what the hell is going on, even though your eyes are open?
Are you really riding it like you stole it?

@asturdivant made me wonder…

Made me wonder about that part of sex… the part that is like the major breakdown of a good song. You know, when the singer commands the band to breakdown on the one! (See: James Brown, Prince, D’Angelo)
It usually comes around the third quarter of a sex session; after foreplay, inbetween oral, possibly before anal (if you take it there).

Knocking around your libido, making you want more than you can get, there’s foul language (‘Oh you’re trying to OWN this pussy ain’t ya?’), possible nail digging, frantic grabbing, real hard grinding with teeth clattering kisses and face cupping stares.
This is the part of the sex when you momentarily hear whatever slow jam is playing in the background and sing it in your head because the lyrics are linking perfectly with what your feeling.
A preferred favourite is Jill Scott’s Crown Royal.
I know I mention Jill a lot but, DAMN, if that woman isn’t talented. Even her speaking voice is audio sex.
Anyone who has Crown Royal on their sextape or phone sex playlist knows the lyrics, but add YOU on a bed, laying down or laying ON someone. You’ve tasted pre-foreplay, licked foreplay and your three positions in.
Possibly two orgasms gone.
You’ve now reached the point where you need to be treated like you stole something. And this is your punishment.

You don’t need to be asked, you need to be TOLD and SHOWN!
It’s at this point you need someone to take control of you and decide for you how it will be done. Because at that point, you trust that they know.
All the while Jill is singing…

“Your hands on my hips
Pull me right back to you
I catch that thrust give it right back to you…”

Your hot, your sweaty, you don’t give a tiny rat’s ass. The person working the supreme bedchamber equestrian form on you is taking you to a realm of pleasure you are rarely able to put words on.
It’s like you can taste the sex in the back of your throat… or maybe you just paused to taste your work (YOU know what I mean).

“You’re in so deep I’m breathing for you
You grab my braids arch my back high for you
Your diesel engine I’m squirting my oil on
I’m down on the floor til my speakers start to boil…”

This is the breakdown of the breakdown.
You want to be touched all over at the same time. You wanted to be licked and sucked, kissed and blessed, you want to grind… nice and rotating hips style.
When you share a kiss, the conversation taking place between your groins is so loud, you can’t hear ya lips smacking.
A lady on her back with a leg up, hooked with her foot and toes flexing in the ether should be telling you to do something right about now.
Should be something along the lines of ‘FUCK ME’.

“I flip ish…” – flip her over in one slick magic movement, always best if you can do so without slipping out. Keep whatever rhythm you had going and don’t let her get a breath in between.

“Quick Slip…” – if you DID slip out by accident, get it in before anyone notices. To be honest, the sensation of slipping out and slipping back in, NOW, goes down REAL well. Simply because you get to reenter along a corridor which already has a buzz like a building lobby.

“Hip Dip…” – trusted… and always impressive, gets ya low and then high as it’s ground in…

“ And I’m twisted, and your hands, and your lips and your tongue tricks…” – you should be definitely, seriously touching something. Holding onto anything. Twiddling this thing. Nibbling that thang… Your intention is purely to massage and marinate the GREAT feeling that she or he is experiencing.
Interlock fingers, stroke a neck, fuck that, lick a neck, suck a lip… oOoOoOoOoOo… definitely suck a lip. That is something real tasty during this point in the good feeling. Build a good feeling while sucking a lip and the orgasm will hit on some next shit…

“And you’re so thick and you’re so big and you’re so… Crown Royal On ice…” – whoever she be should be greasing the pipe with sugar water right about now.
Her eyes should be closed, gripped tight, wide, crossed or rolled right back on some Exorcist shit. Her chest should be heaving like she’s losing a race with her breath. Her hair should be all over the place in some crazy sex style and if she has make up on then she may look like a poor man’s Joker.

But that’s how she wanted it.
The way you worked, made little circles with your hips, were hard and soft, paid attention to what she moaned at and was silent for, etc.
And there was nothing PREMATURE either, which always goes down well when it comes to true blue equestrian headboard demolishing.

It wasn’t about trying to be a jackhammer and pound through the headboard. It wasn’t about putting the dick in fourth gear and coasting for the rest of the journey. It wasn’t even about being the bad cop and hair pulling, bad language and all the other hard stuff.
It was just right.
The way both your hips moved was like the harmony on Jill’s second verse of Crown Royal (for you real music freaks, it’s about 1:14 in).
The way you were giving or receiving was just the perfect form and standardly gets top marks all across the board.
The best way to ride it like you stole it is to let go of the restraints of the vehicle and make it work the best way you know how. There’s no way other way to do it, just to do it.

You could NOT do it, but then that would mean suffering some substandard orgasm that I guess will do, but it’s not scratching the surface of what you are capable of.

More importantly, it’s not making you feel the way you wanted to.

And for your orgasm?

I think its worth riding it out…

So says Mr Oh

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Controlled stroke

(I’m gonna do this one for @Diggydash)

Sex… a lot goes on during the minutes, moments and situations that we get into when it comes to the get down with the get down.
Lots of emotions, feelings, questions, answers, reasons, etc.
All appear during sex.
But there is one super important thing that goes on during sex.

It’s a man thing.
He’s doing it right now… if you’re reading this and having sex at the same time that is.

Not sure what he’s doing or what I’m talking about?
Okay, lemme ask you this then… ever been giving your man the wickedest hip dip and you look at his face and he looks… somewhere else?
Like he’s not completely there?
Or… and this is a regular one… have you ever been getting the perfect itch for your scratch and he suddenly stops or slows down, thus throwing you out of your flow, and further away from the orgasm that was building?

That’s when your man is controlling the stroke.
He has to. He NEEDS to.

If he doesn’t then he’ll come before he wants to and, unless you have a man who’s round two kicks in right after round one, you might need to wait 10-15 minutes. (Unless he knows to go down on you in the meantime.)
The moment you decided to climb on top and start riding him like he was a Budweiser horse, he realised that the more you moved, the better it felt and the better it felt, the more he’d want to fuck you back. And if you’re wet enough and your walls hug just the right way, then he will enjoy it. Maybe a bit too much.

And what happens?


Now she’s lying there, looking at you like, “you best have a killer round two coming up or you best eat the BEST pussy!”
Eitherway, he may feel like he misrepresented himself. Usually, he can hold back an orgasm with a mix and match of positions and numbing strokes that make him go for two, maybe three hours, but, sometimes, the urge to ‘cross the bridge’ is too much.

Just in case ladies aren’t sure what bridge I’m talking about, allow me to explain.

When men sometimes come quickly, or come inside you instead of pulling out like you both agreed, it’s because we get to that point of no return. (Unless he’s sneakily trying to get you pregnant on purpose.)
That point of no return is when it felt good… and he felt it…
It registered in his brain that THAT movement, with those noises from you, mixed with the moisture and all and he knows that one more quick pump and it’ll be the sperm road to shootsville.
Ever had a man fucking you and he suddenly says, ‘oh shit, sorry!’ then pumps a few times then that’s it?
That’s because he got to the tip of the point (of no return) and TRIED to change the flow before the point of no return got him. But he went too far over the edge and well, TADOOOOOOW!

A controlled stroke is something every man should have in his toolbox of tricks. Especially if he get’s into the party without a jacket.
It’s widely known – and sought after – to get into the party without a jacket so you can REALLY enjoy the music the way God intended.
And though the music is REALLY good, you can’t lose yaself in the beat.
Otherwise, you’ll be sitting down before the bashment kicks in, talking about, ‘gimme a minute!’

And that’s never cool.
Especially if she’s allowed you in.
And you go and dance yourself out of breath too early.
Tut tut tut…

That will just not do!

You need to go back to the drawing board and remember what it was like when you were just starting out in your sexual career. The controlled stroke was born at the start of a man’s sexual rap sheet. If he wasn’t one of those people who had Byron Long status from the first dip in, then he definitely had to learn to control the stroke.
At the beginning, sex was usually slow, cautious, designed to find the rhythm. You weren’t experienced enough to make ya hip circulate but you learned that the longer you controlled the stroke, the LONGER you could go on later.
(Okay, maybe it took a few preemptive orgasms on your part before you could control it but you got there in the end, right?)

One of the hardest aspects of being able to control your stroke and, as Keith Sweat sang, ‘make it last forever’ is the unspokeness of what your REALLY trying to do.
Really, it’s like you are trying to appear more cool, calm and collected than you really are. He may want to make it look like he is handing the wok with ease but, inside, he could be one full, long pump away from spraying ya walls. And that’s when something as simple as an accepting hip thrust, a smile from those dreamy eyes or the dreaded cobra clutch are like kryptonite.

(Cobra clutch is when she chooses to clamp her sugar walls around you while your stroking, making it feel REAL nice.)

To master a controlled stroke, you have to know about your own sensitivity. Every man knows his representative. He knows that head around the head, with attention paid to the underside of the helmet will make you come quick.
So with that same thinking, he knows when a pussy feels too good that it could end the show before the intro.
The question is, does he have the restraint to get past that good feeling?

Controlled stroke is like viewing a potential property.
You have to investigate it first.
Check out the foundations.
Get into every room and see how you feel.
Can you see yourself living there?
Are you comfortable?
Would you invite friends over?

Okay, that last one is for the freaks who get down like that but, you have to get in and feel it out.
A good 10 minutes of controlled stroking can give you up to two hours of not even close to coming, position flipping, diesel engine squirting (oh Jill), dual pleasure loving.
The trick is to build a resistance to the goodness.
Build up ya sensitivity so that if she decides to wait until NOW to start squirting, you’ll be able to see it through.
(And a wet woman is ALWAYS a killer to a controlled stroke.)
Pussy feels different in different positions. You could be king dagger-ling when your on top but she could roll you over and drop it twice before you experience something thta’s like a sneeze only better. So take a few moments to, again, feel her out. Take those few tentative strokes, just to make sure there’s no surprises around her corner.

A man knows when he hasn’t controlled the stroke well. She knows too.
Both faces are different but they are born from the same failure (his is either frowning or hiding in her shoulder in embarrassment and hers is like ‘you ain’t shit’.)

On the flip side… or the underside… when it comes to the first nut, controlling the stroke may not be important if your going for a quick knock out so round two can pass through.
Sensitivity is stronger during round two so you’ll be able to ride till the wheels fall off.
But, don’t get too excited.
Cuz, it’s not easy for some to get to round three without a nap, or a snack.

So ladies, if he’s ever inside you and he’s moving a little slower or he seems to be doing his OWN thing, take time. He could be building to a rhythm that will benefit both of you later.
You’ll usually know if he’s doing that if he is riding you slow and he is moaning and groaning like, ‘oOoOoOoOoOoh gurl, this is some GOOOOOD pussy’, ‘DAAAAAMMMN’ or a long drawn out, ‘SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT’.

(That’s when pussy is fucking you up…)

He might’ve just gotten into the party but he’s already moaning and groaning like it’s been 40 minutes. That means he knows that the wrong move here or there can finish the race for one of ya.

A man doesn’t have to tell another man how to control his stroke. Trust me, we ALL know how to do it. Some of us do it better than others and have it mastered to a damn science but we all know.
It’s just about whether we can pull it back from the point of no return…

It’s like a saliva string, dangling from a mouth. It can get really really low, but can you pull it back before it goes too far to the ground?

A good controlled stroke works on the same beat pattern as Michael Jackson’s Lady In My Life

Or so I’ve heard…

Stroke on… but hold on strong!

By Mr Oh

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Afraid to be freaky

How many of us know who Mr Marcus is?
How many of us know what a ‘reverse cowgirl’ is?
How many of us have caught cramp or an injury of some sort trying to break out some unimaginable position?

If you know me or have any idea about what I do, then you can imagine that this rant is probably gonna be about sex.
And you’re not wrong either.
But I’d like to broach a particular aspect of sex, especially in this country and that aspect is about the ‘undercover’ side of sexual acceptance in the UK.

This is just my opinion, if you don’t agree… that’s fine, go hi-five ya face…

Now… like most people, I have sex. Quite a lot… one point in my life, I thought I was a sex addict (well that’s head addict, but that’s another story.)
And to have that type of feeling, I actually felt quite alone in that there was no one else to talk to about it because SEX, in the black community, is something that age appropriate (and inappropriate) engage in on a REGULAR basis. Yet it is something that is not discussed, shared or note compared… regularly.

Ladies and gents, before you start saying, ‘what you chatting ‘bout, me and my girls always talk about sex’ – I’m not talking about when you are talking to people you know and are comfortable with, I’m talking about sharing with people you don’t know.

(I can hear quite a few, ‘why would I do that?’)

Sharing is caring – a classic Nigerian saying – and I’m not talking about airing out your business on Facebook, or sending Twitpics of your favourite positions, I’m talking about going to a swinger’s party and meeting your corner shop owner there, or going to an event about sex but changing your mind because you’re worried about who would see you there.

This rant is inspired by responses I’ve had to the Little Black Book and its contents, which have split people down the middle with their opinions. Majority of people have been quite accepting and very open and receiving of it but there is a minority who have shied away, to the point where they did not come to the launch as they didn’t want their friends to know they were ‘freaky’.

But, deep down, isn’t there a freak in all of us?

Isn’t there that lil’ someone inside of all of us who wants to swing from a chandelier or wants to have sex on a public beach while the sun goes down?

Even though the topic of sex is personal to the person, I’ve found that sharing experiences is a great way for people to meet, to relate. Not just for sex, but to able to talk about relative issues, to discuss, to converse, mass debate even. (giggle)

Some people are open, some people are not and that’s the way of the world… I am not trying to change anyone by writing and forcing sex down people’s throats (?), but, in conversations, at events, I’ve seen the way that sex makes some people revert into themselves and turn their head to hide a smile that they KNOW they feel.
My sexual experiences are mine and yours belong to you, but something in the middle could connect us and who knows what can be born from that.
I’m not telling people to walk up to attractive strangers and say, ‘I like getting my dick sucked with a lot of spit,’ or ‘you look like you enjoy people sitting on your face,’ but, say that to the right person and it could be a very interesting night for you.

To be open, you must first know what inspires you in between the sheets. And be comfortable enough to know that you can go from missionary to reverse cowgirl without him slipping out… or you can get her shoulders all the way past her head and she’ll tell you to go deeper…

Once you’re comfortable in the skin you’re in, anything is possible…

Little Black Book by Mr Oh – OUT NOW

[Originally posted on mydirtyglove.com]

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Are you REALLY having sex?

With a new year coming round, happy new year by the way, its usually that time when you promise to put the cake down, hit the gym more, stop fucking that dick that you know is no good for you but its just too good to you, etc.
Maybe you plan for this new year to be different from the last one, or maybe you just said ‘fuck resolutions I never keep em, let’s just make changes’.

However you’ve come into this new year (extra points if you CAME into the new year) you might look back at your sexcapades of 2010 with a slight feeling of ‘meh’. (That’s if you weren’t lucky enough to get really seeing toos.)
Was it another year of boring, heavy thumping, no rhythm sex?
Any highlights that can make you say ‘I got FUCKED up’ by that sex?
Or did you end 2010 still not being PROPERLY seen too?
Did he or she spend the year not completely searching the depths of your soul with their tongue?
Are you going into 2011 still not giving head?
(They still MAKE you.)

If any of those questions made you say to yourself, ‘hmm’ then let’s start 2011 with some words of encouragement for your libido.


You should be asking yourself why are you NOT having the sex that your body, mind and soul craves?
Is it because you aren’t meeting people who are able to scratch that particular itch?
That’s more a problem for women than men. It’s pretty easy to scracth a man’s itch… usually includes making it wet, but women are a whole different kettle of fish (wrong choice of words, lol)
Women sometimes need a soft scratch followed by a bit of rough scratching with some DEEP scratching on top.
And those women are walking from 2010 sexcapades with regret and disappointment. Worse than that, she is probably saying all types of shit about you in her head. You may not care but if you heard what she was saying, you’d make her come better.

Obviously the slogan of the year is: ‘its 2011’, but really, you should not be walking away from any moment of sexual gratification without everyone satisfied.
That’s how it should’ve been SINCE you started having sex but NOW, in 2011, you maybe still not eating pussy, if that’s what she desires.

Make 2010 the memory of when you didn’t eat a pussy. I mean, come on, I may talk about it a time or three, I may write about A LOT, I may even be an addict for it but, really?

I’ve blogged about before in my entry called ‘All about eating pussy… tips, tricks and secret licks’ and not to harp on about it but if your not doing it, you and your partner are missing out.
Your partner, whoever they is, could be missing out on skills you didn’t even know you had.
You, sir, could be a lean mean kitty lapping God if only you let your mind go beneath the navel.
YOU, guuurl, could be a deepthroating, slop Goblin if you could only get past the submissiveness of being on your knees or being BELOW him.
Which is the wrong way to look at such a position.
Why feel disrespect at being on your knees in front of someone you want to please?
With that thinking, you have inhibitions which could hinder the creativity of your ‘moment’.
Plus, a woman who knows how to give that real Lethal Lipps head knows they have their man under control when they go in on their knees.
Right, ladies?
When you got his toes curling?
And his face all screwed up?
Lips all puckered like ‘oooh yeah’.

Head isn’t the end all and be all of sex, though say that to a woman whose man isn’t giving her any and she may disagree. And vice versa.
But, in returning to the question at hand, it IS something that you should at least experience.
Once in your life at least.

Nothing ever really changes in sex so there isn’t a wealth of things I can tell you to try to find out if your really having sex.
But then again, you KNOW if your really having sex.

Anyone can slip a dick in, lift thighs and make it feel good, but are you lying in your back feeling… ya know RIGHTEOUS?
Are your nipples up and at attention?
Is your stomach jerking in the anticipation of an orgasm?
Does your dick tingle with each slide thru her juicy trail?
Is your pussy throbbing everytime there’s contact?
Has your neck and that spot behind your ear become super Sayian sensitive?

Are you feeling the way you thought you would in your head?
Then your not getting the sex you should be having, nor the sex you deserve to be getting.
Cuz you know you.

You know you don’t mind giving a little to get a little, you know your sex is maybe a 185 (you need good sex in return to be a 187)
So why are you not feeling the way you think you should be feeling in your head?
If you think you should be having multiple orgasms, go and fucking get em…
Easier said than done, but do-able. If a woman can come 27 times in a single session than anything is possible.

Do you think you should be having your hair pulled and being called every disrespectful term under the sun?
Then find someone who will wrap your hair and their hands and call you a ‘filthy face fucking fucker’ while they spank you with that perfect CLAP sound.

As a writer, I like to write for the mind.
The mind is a very powerful and sexual tool that some forget to take advantage of.
There is something down right disturbingly sexual about doing something during sex that works out exactly how you thought it would in ya mind.
It’s like it turns a light on.

Ask a man who likes sloppy head who gets a nice piece of sloppy top and I’ll bet he’s watching intently… possibly recording…

Take the sex of your mind and put it into practice.
That orgasm you think is impossible IS possible.
You can squirt.


So says Mr Oh

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Music ‘in between the sheets’

I LOVE music…

No… I freaking LOOOOOOOVE music…

If its possible to be born singing and nodding my head then I did that. Playing air guitar on my umbilical cord.
From my earliest memory, there has been music in my life.
I’ve grown up as a music fiend. A fiend I tells ya…

Music, to me, is a lot more than a release, its a… I don’t even know.
Music is the soundtrack to my every mood.
I have music everywhere. For everything.

Walking down the road tunes, shower tunes, washing plates tunes, gym tunes, tunes everywhere.

I’m old school when it comes to mines though.
Fuck what ya heard, I’m old school to my heart.
Old school music is what I grew up with.
My dad used to like, and still rocks, that Jim Reeves sound but he was deep into his soul. James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Earth, Wind and Fire, etc.
He also had a thing for Waziri, which has made me grow up with a constant guitar sound buzzing in my ear.

My mum preferred her Naija sound… Sunny Ade, Fela, Shina Peters, etc.
It was my two older sisters who brought me in and up on certain sounds.
Michael Jackson, Prince, George Clinton, Marvin Gaye, The Stylistics, etc.

Now, as a grown ass man, my musical taste has grown too. I don’t just listen to music, I HEAR it. That’s the same argument as Billy Hoe and Sidney Dean in White Men Can’t Jump.
“YOU cannot heat Jimi Hendrix, you LISTEN…”

I take my music very seriously. When I hear a song that I like, I take it apart.
Let’s take Michael Jackson’s Lady In My Life as an example.
First it goes on repeat.
Then I look or listen to the song, HARD.

Then I get busy.

I analyse, break it down, sing lyrics, memorize, learn, adapt adlibs and before you know it, I’ll have that song in my brain.

As a writer and professional shower singer, music helps relax my mind. Like, as your reading this, I’m listening to Jill Scott’s Crown Royal and I can picture a scene with this song playing in the background.

This is what I see when I hear that song.

Dim lights.
One man, one woman.
She is lying down and he is watching her masturbate.
And he has been instructed to watch her, but he’s finding it hard…
Real hard.

There’s something about Jill Scott’s voice that really makes me wanna wrap myself in clingfilm…


When it comes to music and ‘bedtime’ (and I don’t mean sleep) you need to know your shit. Don’t think you can throw Jagged Edge’s Let’s Get Married on a CD and think your gonna get some skins. (Tune though.)

Personal preference differs but I am a live or die neo soul fiend so my sex music leans towards Musiq than R Kelly, Kindred than Jagged Edge, India.arie than Mary…
And old school? Boooy, I don’t fuck around when it comes to my old school.
Being an 80s baby and a 90s teen, I was able to grow up and watch music change and become a whole lot more sexualised.
Back in my house as a child, if my mum heard me singing ‘dont mess with my tutu’ I’d get a slap. But songs like I Wanna Sex You Up, were tunes, but, for me, too much sex in the music kills the… joy of it…
Slightly ironic considering I write about orgasms and fluid swapping all day but I like to hear about the almost moments. Songs like Luther’s If This World Were Mine, Prince’s Adore, Tevin Campbell’s Can We Talk and Marvin Gaye’s You Sure Love To Ball are a few tunes that put me in a devilish mood. I may look evil, but its pure pleasure I’m thinking.

Certain songs like MJ’s Lady In My Life do something extra special when the lights go out. It’s something about the way he sung that song that brings the real lover out of me…
That songs inspires caressing, succulent trails and spanking tails…
Verse, chorus, verse, chorus, adlibs and then… BAM… it happens.

What has to be the sexiest moment in music…

Mike’s just singing his sexy thang… singing a melody or two and even throws in a whoooooo for good measure.
In the background, the music builds up so quietly with his adlibs you don’t really notice it until the song reaches 3.43 and Mike breaks it DOWN with a simple OOOOOOH…

The music seems to just stop.

Then his voice just brings it back…


When your in bed, and that song comes on, you best know its about to be the GOOD part of the sex. This is where you break it down, keep the body your working bubbling, slow and methodical with every caress…
Whoever your pleasing should be FEELING the words of the song in your touch.
Or if your really doing your job, they won’t even HEAR that music is even playing. Knowhatimsayin?

Music in between the sheets isn’t something you just do any old way.
If you have a sex playlist on your computer, or phone if you’re a travelling fucker, you took care to choose the right songs that you like that you felt would get the best results between a pair of thighs.

Some people choose their sex songs based on the artist, the song, the sound or a whole heap of other reasons but there was something in that song that made you say to yourself, ‘I think I could fuck to this.’

And you did.

So, what song does it for you? What one song has been on your sex tape since the first time you heard it?

What song is YOUR sex song?



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Bang Bang Buss-ted…

Let me paint a picture…

It’s sexy time with you and your partner,lover, linkage, jump off, etc. And there you are puttting your best ‘back into it’ effort, thinking to yourself, “I’m gonna knock this one out and make her buss.”
And before you know it, things are on the way to ending. And unless you know the secret ass flex move to stop the orgasm, you’ll start the skeet skeet skank and your snapping the condom off… or looking for the flannel/towel/tissue for clean up.

HOW did that happen? Thought you had it under control didn’t ya? You were stroking steady, then your knees got weak and now you’re fucked?

Now she’s lying there. She can see the confusion on your face and can feel you not being as active with your flow as you were.
Then she looks at you. Like to say, ‘OH, did you… just… oh…’

Bredrin, if you’ve ever been mid-stroke and you start to come, you know when she figures it out. She might look at you with that pity face that says, ‘awwwww, can’t handle the pussy huh?’

But what’s your next move after that?
Do you apologise and put it down to fatigue?
Or do you apologise and find another way to keep the party going until round two wakes up?

A general complaint from women is that men will usually get that nut then get that sleep or get gone.
And that’s true.
At least for those who don’t mind eating some pussy.
For those who don’t nyam, you may find after you’ve come that there’s not much to do.

Not true…

There’s tons to do dude, its just fighting past that lazy, sleepy feeling that is starting to creep up on you.

Not sure if women truly understand the science behind a man’s orgasm and that damn  special fork in the road to pleasure that, once you’ve past it, you can’t stop… getting there.
But regardless of whether her pussy or mouth put you in this shrivelled position, its up to you to bring it back so she knows that wasn’t a fluke ting.

Look at it like this: if she made you come like that, go repay the favour.

How DARE she do what she did to make you come before you planned to?

Has she lost her FUCKING mind to add that moisture to your dick to make you come the way you did?

Are you just gonna have that?

She made you come without hardly any effort and your happy for her to get away with this?

Well, fuck that for a fondle,  fumble and finger…

That type of thing does not go unnoticed.
(In fact, those things get special space in the old memory banks.)
If you’re in this position right now or are having sex with someone who KNOWS how to make you come quickly, you need to reverse it…

“Don’t be pussy whipped. You gotta reverse it. Whip that pussy. BANG BANG BANG BANG…”

I’m telling you, the moment you start getting sonned by pussy, soon, there will be other pussys that’ll be treating you like the same kinda bitch…
Cuz women TALK…

So… like Rev Run says, whatyougunnado?

Man up and handle that!
Number one, she’ll appreciate  the force of your decisive movement towards her… and two, she may not see it coming. So be original… get in there…
There are nipples, a neck, torso, legs, shoulders that also need attention.

But that’s what she wants.
She wants you to go and get her.
Punish her with pleasure for making you feel so good.
Lick her, tickle her, restrain her, kiss her somewhere, massage her, hard wine her, tick tock from the back, smile from between her thighs, make her hold her ankles and feed you… 

If your nowhere near a Round 2, then you need to make sure you know which fingers reach her warm spots… and if you eat the poontang, then its even better.
Set up camp and pitch your tongue tent into the ground.
(I know I talk about head a lot but, what can I say, I’m a possible addict.)

Whether you eat or don’t eat, it doesn’t matter.
Some women will disagree but, if you have game between the sheets, she won’t notice that you haven’t eaten her out because she hasn’t stopped coming.

Start the foreplay again… that’s if you dropped some foreplay in the first place. Oh PLEASE say your dropping foreplay game… otherwise what do you have genetilia for?

(Obviously I know foreplay isn’t what groin were made for only but, they help.)


Don’t be scared to buss a quick one. There is nothing wrong with getting a quick one out the way.
You could wank one out beforehand but that would totally defeat the purpose of the sex.
An orgasm can be a nice way to break up the rhythm of what your doing and that could do wonders for her orgasm.

And, just FYI, round two is always better than round one. It’s better, stronger, longer, faster and will give you, ladies, what you were searching for in round one.

But… not all men have two rounds and may put their life and soul into the first.

So fuck fast, fuck slow, fuck like you know, but most importantly, all parties involved must arrive at the city of Emerald, lol.

Mr Oh

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