The female orgasm.
It’s a beautiful thang isn’t it? There’s so many variations of it, so many styles and techniques and words shouted out and eyes rolling back and thrashing like you’ve never seen thrashing before.
Get caught slipping and one of ’em can catch you in the eye. Don’t pay attention and one of ’em can have you kicked off the bed and rolled out on the floor like Deebo just sent you a ‘that’s my bike punk’ uppercut. Some of ’em make you worry that the person may have just died in front of you.
But, they all arrive and let you, the orgasm chaser, know that you’ve done something right.
Orgasms. Never have sex without one.
They rule the school. Great ones can stay in your mentals and physical for ever and poor ones can make you think about giving up sex all together.
Throughout my sex age (my sexual career) there’s always been focus on quantities of orgasms, whether a woman is having one or not. Dudes pretty much have one orgasms, that’s because, apparently we only have one and then knock out. True. But not completely.
Now, a woman’s orgasm is something different.
As we know, a woman can have an orgasm like bullets firing from a gun – one after the other after the other after the other after the other. Lucky creatures.
And one orgasm can be different from the last.
Her first may not be like her seventh which may not be like her fourteenth.
If your lucky enough to see, feel or experience any of ’em, then you know how great they can be.
I swear, sometimes, it’s like a ticker tape parade with carnival music and a bass speaker making the entire bed bounce.
I think there are roughly about 12 different types of orgasms. Some of them may have elements of the other but each one has solo attributes that make them differ.
Big one – self explanatory and simple, yet can make a woman feel like she is about to die a sweet death. A big one can rock her spot from her feet to her hair follicles. She may sound like a demon, depending on if she lets the sound loose or not. A big one can make the dick squeeze out and, if your lucky, follow through with a squirt. If you’ve ever had a big one, you’ll know it ‘cuz you probably fell asleep afterwards.
Little one – the opposite of the ‘Big one’, this orgasm is the starter for a three-orgasm meal. It’s a like that moment before the sneeze when your nose tickles and you pause for a moment. That’s the small one. It gets ya quick but you breathe through it and keep going like it never happened. Probably just made things a lot more wetter than they were before.
Quiet one – a favourite. Sort of like the ‘Little one’ but with less noise. If your an orgasm watcher such as myself, then you may notice it as a little scrunch of the forehead or a quick fist clench and then that’s it. It’s quiet because it sneaks up on you and has you feeling good in a way that you didn’t even know the orgasm was coming.
Missed it one – not one that women have very often. Comes like “hey, did I just? I swear I just had a…” Generally a mix of the ‘Little one’ and the ‘Quiet one’.
Electric shock one – now this one… this is a good one. This orgasm brings forth of sort of taser like movement from her that, in some cases, makes the delivery person slightly worried. A good electric shock will make her body involuntarily spasm and freeze and throb and vibrate and move like she’s been possessed (see: any crap possession horror movie over the last ten years)
She might arch herself on the balls of her feet and her head and look like a captial C on it’s side but it’s all good. Best thing to do is leave her alone. Let her have the moment. It may last a minute, it may last five but when she’s done, you’ll know you’ve done a good job.
It came, it went, keep going one – this orgasm is a good one because it’s one of the good ones that doesn’t stop proceedings. With this orgasm, she’ll announce it, experience it, then want to repeat it. So repeat it… and try not to cum before she does. That’ll annoy.
Flying arms, hidden kick out one – this orgasm is a real spot rocker and turns your partner from a normal, sexy being who you’re trying to make have an orgasm, into a UFC fighter with arms and legs flaying everywhere. This orgasm is a like a ‘Big one’ and an ‘Electric Shock’ but she has enough clarity to throw her arms and legs all over trying to make the good feeling stop. She’s not really trying to make it stop, in fact, if her hands catch you she may scratch the shit out of you. Oh advice is to grab her arms and make them stop, catch her knees under your arms and keep doing what you were doing before she came. She’ll love and hate you for it.
Don’t touch me one – a relative of the ‘Flying arms, hidden kick’ one, this orgasm is the plain and simple DO NOT TOUCH ME AS I’M COMING! She does not want to be touched or spoken to or addressed. She just wants to be left the fuck alone to enjoy her high.
Fuck the neighbours one – not quiet, no finesse, no prim and proper behaviour. Just foul mouthed, raw, unedited orgasm. That’s it!
Solar eclipse one – one of the most scariest orgasms on the list. This one doesn’t have a lot of tale tell signs but when it happens you know it. This is like the Oscars of the orgasm world. This is the orgasm that hits straight and, though you may see signs of the ‘Big one’, the ‘Electric Shock one’, the ‘Flying arms, hidden kick one’ and the ‘fuck the neighbours one’, the best aspect of this one is the ending. Before you realise it, she’s stopped moving. She’s silent and still, like you weren’t just making the bed scoot across the floor with energetic crotch meeting. This orgasm knocks her the fuck out, Deebo-style. She may wake up and not remember anything and that’s when you know you have given pleasure to the point where sleep is automatic and consciousness is a myth. Well done you!
Stop don’t stop one – definitely one of the more confusing orgasms to encounter as you don’t know what the hell to do with yourself. One of the biggest worries in sex is hearing someone say no or stop and you miss it. So when you hear something that sounds like dissent or something that means stop what you’re doing, you don’t wanna miss it. And that’s where the confusion is. The joy of this orgasm for her is telling you to stop. She wants to tell you to stop and she wants you to ignore it. She wants to tell you to stop because she knows you’ll ignore it. Then she wants to tell you not to stop… because she knows you won’t stop. And that’s the fun!
But, pay attention though. Recognise the difference between a playful stop and a REAL stop… you DO NOT wanna get them confused.
The few minutes later one – now this orgasm has been revered and spoken about like a myth because not everyone has had one… not even a lot of women know this type of orgasm exists. But its definition, its not possible but, as someone who’s seen it in motion, it is possible and it is amazing. Now this orgasm isn’t exactly straight forward. It’s complicated. Because it doesn’t deliver straight away.
You could be having sex and she has one of the aforementioned orgasms and that’s it, right? Done and squirting right? WRONG!
This orgasm can come back like an 80s group who’s best song was sampled and now they have a comeback album and tour on the way.
She can have stopped having sex, gone and began to clean up and when suddenly, out of nowhere, another orgasm hits. There could probably be a few minutes break in between the last orgasm and this one and it attacks with a touch of the ‘Flying hands, hidden kick one’ as well as the ‘Big one’ and the ‘Fuck the neighbours one’.
Definitely one of the most worrying orgasms because it holds a lot of power within and can carry a touch of the ‘Solar eclipse one’ as well.
Once, I delivered a ‘few minutes later one’, left and went to work and got a phone call 15 minutes later saying, ‘I’m in the bathroom hunched over the sink because another orgasm just came out of nowhere’. (Whether that’s true or not I’ll leave up to you, lol.)
And there you have it. The female orgasm in all of its many forms.
I’m not an expert on the female orgasm, although I can cause a lot of them so I know there are lots of other types of orgasms women can have ( the ‘masturbation one’, the ‘I think I’m gonna pee myself’ one’ , the ‘almost almoost almooost one’ and the ‘I need to sing for this this eruption one’) but I thought I’d cover the general ones.
They are just… the shit…
Whichever one you encounter or deliver, just make sure you take the time to enjoy it with her.
And make sure you can at least deliver an orgasm, or she’ll either find someone else who will or resent you for not delivering.
The female orgasm…
I’m loving it…
By Mr Oh