Tag Archives: right

A Rider’s waist shouldn’t go to waste

On the suggestion of one of my Twitter followers (who’s name shall be protected so no one questions her riding game), I have been asked to write a little blog about the intricacies of riding.
So, this one is mainly for the ladies… but fellas who like a rider, let me know if I’m hitting the nail on the head.

For those who aren’t down with the art of riding during sex… then this one is for you…

Riders are normal, everyday people.
They enjoy sex in all variations, usually about the time when they are able to throw their hips or waist into a position that gives them a fair degree of control.
A rider enjoys what they do. They know how to quint, tick tock, hard wine, drop it like its hot and and all that good stuff.
As a rider, rough or gentle, you, miss lady, are not afraid to get on top and let ya stomach show, whether it’s small, flat, curved, rounded or slightly flabby.
Really, it’s not your body that your worried about. It’s your technique. It’s the ride… the grind… the way the dick slips up inside you. Maybe even rubs against that internal button right nicely.

Riders and their riding game are focused on WORKING that shit. Making sure that the wine and grind is deep, connected and feeling good for everyone.
Women who like to get on top and throw it down on a man know the feeling of what it’s like to have the dick deep inside you.

When a woman sits on top and straightens her back and starts to ride, the dick gets RIGHT up in there.

SoOoOoOoOo in there, you might start to feel it in the back of your throat… if it’s one of THOSE dicks.
But the art of good riding is to make that dick touch different places inside of you. You may lean the hips to the left, rock the waist to the right just so things touch different… thangs.
For the right rider, a dick inside during the ride is an orgasm after a few rounds of the grind. For others, you have to work up to the orgasm. For some, its just a position on the way to another.

But you riders out there… oooooooh, you love it don’t ya you dirty filthy grinders you…

Now, if you don’t know how to ride… or you have an issue with riding.. or you just wanna add a new recipe to ya cook book, eitherway, here’s a few tips on how to best work the ride… And how to take it…

Lean with it-
This is a fan favourite of mine and definitely one that women and men alike prefer to use. Side effects include being sweat on but that’s a minor when someone is coming on you in such a way that they’re squeezing pussy walls on ya. You won’t really care.
Now when a woman gets on top and she rolls with the lean with it move, there are a few things to remember as a man.
Number one, you need to remember that being on top and riding means that she will have full control of the stroke. So if you are anywhere near coming, do not let her get you into this position because you WILL buss real quick.
When she climbs on, and you slip in, and she starts to rock her roll all over you, her rhythm will definitely speed up. But that’s not what you are looking out for. It is the moment when she leans forward on ya chest or on the headboard.
This gives her extra leverage in the back. When I mean in the back, I mean in the hips that she should be working and jerking. By leaning forward, she is able to work what she’s working that little bit easier.
Pound it, spin on it, circle on top of it… any kinda work.
The movement, coupled with the lean forward, comes together like moving the hair out of a woman’s face while she is giving you head. So you can see and feel it better.
Same thing.
A rider likes the freedom that allows them to pound and bang with no issues, dramas or distractions.
Best way to take this ride is to just take it. Let her do what it is she wants to do.

Put ya hands by by your side, under her arms so there is no distraction. I know its the ting to leave your hands out so that you are able to hold on, grab on, spank or control her if you need to but, don’t.
Just let her go.

You come when you come. Probably a few seconds after the HARD grind starts.

Equally sexy when she turns around in the reverse upright cowgirl.

Doggystyle ride –

As a woman, if you think that there is no way for you to jump on the ride and keep the ride going in the doggy, then you are wrong and you have been doing it wrong.
You see, in that position, a woman rules a man for how ever many strokes he can manage. He may grab your waist and decide whether to rock fast or slow but you, miss lady are in control.

You know it. He knows it.
You should know that a little twist of your hips will drive him mad, a heavy back and forth slam will make him have to come out so he doesn’t come quick.
Really though, fuck all that.
In this position, the control is in the waist of a woman when she commands him to stay still… and fucks him.
Make him stay still.
Tell him not to move.
This is the sexiest thing to a man when a woman DEMANDS that he stay still, not move, basically follows orders.
Once you’ve got him mannequin in place, back it up.
Not a typical RIDE as such but to those who excel in this position, and get a GOOD nut in this position, you know where the ride is.

In this position, it’s not as simple as just backing it up. You have to play a role with your lower half.
It may seem a little silly to get your award-winning performance on while your face down, ass up but your waist and your hips have to take on a mind of their own.
THIS is the ride.
Twist ya hips to the right as you slide off the dick then twist to the left as you take him back in. (Useful to hear a song in your head that has a good rhythm to it, helps the movement.)

THEN…

Get flat.
Not literally.
I mean press yourself down to the bed as far as you can without dropping your ass. This is the true definition of face down, ass up.
You should look like a BMX ramp the way your back is arched.
Clench yourself backwards away from him, to the point that his tip is visible, hopefully creamed with you, then take him back in, fast or slow, however you like it. Keep him still so your doing all the sliding.
Look back at him and make sure he’s watching. That adds to the thrill.

REALLY, a woman can ride you in any position you slip her into. For wrestling fans, it’s like getting caught slipping and having a figure four leglock put on you.
When she gets going, and her hips start moving and her waist starts grinding and her body starts moving, make you sit back and watch it!
It’s a thing of beauty to see, better than 3D and, for she, it should be a pussy grinding party.
Constant switch-ups, mixed with hard grinds, long strokes and deep pokes should have even the most seasoned of swordsmen trying to slow you down.

That’s the mark of a goood rider… when your doing that thang that you do and he has to hold your hips to slow you down or change the flow. That means the thing your doing is making him good to go.

A lil bounce when your on top, a lil back arching when your ass is up, a good grip on the bed when your on your side so you can really pound on him.
There’s a good rider in every woman, she just needs to find her favourite rhythm to ride on.
What’s your riding song?

Whatever it is, find it, hear it, use it, ride it, get it, sleep on it…
He’ll thank you for it…

By Mr Oh

I know the pancakes are random but are they really? Is the syrup on hot pancakes a metaphor for the orgasm you should receive as the result of a good ride? Or are the pancakes just a good prize after a good ride out?

You choose…

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Do’s and don’ts of sex

Do’s and don’ts of sex…

This is in no way shape or form a DEFINITIVE guide on what you should and shouldn’t do during sex (I mean I may put my tongue where others won’t, plus if it was, this would be a BITCH of a list) – so let’s just get that out the way…

SEX

I talk about it, do it, write about it, think about it, taste it, visualise it… I just like it.
But, as we all know, there is an unwritten unspoken set of rules that people GENERALLY adhere to in order to fully succeed in achieving that REAL good, make her thighs shake, make him walk like an Egyptian, sweat dripping, body trembling sex.

These are 10 do’s and don’ts for the best way to achieve the sex that your friends TELL you they have… unless you’re freakier than them…

DO’S

 1.

PAY ATTENTION – a simple, but HUGE start. Watch what makes your partner tick, what makes her voice hit that Mariah Carey octave or what makes him grab all over your body because he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Chances are, if you are hitting that SPOT the right way, and you keep doing it, someone’s gonna be coming soon.

WOMEN: If a woman moans when your twist her left nipple, breath on her right one, with one finger on her clit and another making it’s way in, then she LIKES it. DUH! So remember that move and add it to your mental rolodex.

MEN: Anything that gets his toes curling, face frowning or anything that makes him open his mouth in a perfect O is a keeper.

 2.

 BE DARING – why not try a spank from on high? Or rub the space between his balls and his anus during head? There are still a lot of hang-ups about particular sexual practices in the world but, to be honest, the quietest of people will like the freakiest of things.

WOMEN: If your head is telling you to suck his dick like a porn star, armed with porn star wrist action, dirty talk and saliva, then try it.

MEN: If you want to lift her legs back PAST her head and lick her ENTIRE crotch, what’s stopping you? What have you got to lose? Besides a possible eruptive orgasm.

3.

 ALWAYS BE PREPARED – at one point or another, we’ve all finished and realised that the ‘clean up towel’ is out of reach or the flannel is in the bathroom and SOMEONE has to get up. But no one wants to move. So make sure, you’re ready for any eventuality.

MEN: If you plan to tie her up, but she doesn’t know it yet, make sure you tie up the restrains before she even gets to the bedroom. Hide things under the pillow, under the mattress, etc.

WOMEN: are generally prepared because they decided they were gonna sleep with you about two days ago AND how it was going to go.

 4.

LET IT ALL GO – that’s the best way to be… free as a bird… not thinking about your Tesco’s shopping list or if it is CSI Miami or CSI Vegas on today… your mind should be on the task at hand. Distractions can lead to sudden situations such as:

WOMEN: leaving your mind temporarily and saying the first name that comes out of your mouth, even if it isn’t the name of the person above or below you. (It’s happened…)

MEN: not really feeling the way she’s working you, and the dreaded DROOP kicks in and no amount of looking or touching is getting it back up.

 5.

SWALLOW – there is nothing like watching or listening to someone slurping down the fruit juice of your labour… especially if you’ve been made to wait or have CHOSEN to wait it out. If you’ve been made to feel the way you should, you will WANT swallow what is coming to you… but if you’re not having your scratch itched, it could also brighten up the most boring of sessions.

MEN: don’t be scared of pussy juice… it won’t scald you… or turn your skin green. If you’re reading this and saying something along the lines of ‘I don’t go down for nobody’, then YOUR missing out… TRUST ME!

WOMEN: what is there to say about swallowing that you don’t already know? Nothing… just make it wet and deep and God bless ya!

DON’TS

 6.

 BODIES ARE NOT TOYS – whether you stroke the dick with too much kung-fu grip or your fingernails are too long to slide inside, you gotta make sure that YOU are representing yourself. Groom yaself, take care of the body you bring to the table and the body you are trying to please… it is there for your pleasure, not for you to treat like some old t-shirt that you paint in.

WOMEN: a few things to always remember – a strong grip on a dick isn’t ALWAYS necessary. Sometimes, men keep quiet, but we don’t like for our head’s to look like they’re about to explode. Teeth too. You gotta remember to keep them teeths covered… they have ROUGH edges… a grimace isn’t always in pleasure.

MEN: groping is fine to an extent but you have to be given the permission, otherwise keep it smooth and constantly moving. Another thing, not ALL women like a ‘rammer jammer’ in bed so don’t think that ramming her THROUGH the headboard will make her come. I did say, not all, because there is a fair share of women who don’t mind that all night long.

 7.

KEEP TOILET GAMES IN THE TOILET – not much of a fan of being pissed or shit on to be honest… but some people do… to each their own… but, if you ARE into that type of thing, MAKE SURE the other person is too. Because you don’t want her to be coming like a geyser then you stand over her and take a number two. This touches on ‘DO number 5’, but men HAVE to know the difference between a woman coming in their mouth and a woman peeing. If you don’t then… HAHAHAHAHA… take that shit to the grave… YOU got caught slipping.

MEN: just don’t do it.

WOMEN: just don’t do it either… leave the golden showers for private time on the can.

 8.

SENSES – it’s one thing for your body to not be into it, but for your eyes and mouth to show disinterest is a REAL mood killer. If you’re lying there, like a rag doll, forcing yourself into position, huffing and puffing when something feels wrong, rolling your eyes, fixing up your mouth like you’d rather be drunk, etc. It’s not a good look. And, in turn, the performance from both participants will suffer and the orgasm could just be to get it out the way so one of you can sleep. Why are you fucking in the first place?

WOMEN: though a lot of sexual emphasis regarding sounds is put on women, you DO make our engines roar when we hear the road enjoying the ride. If you’re not feeling it, it’s better to keep it real and just say, ‘you know what, we need to stop!’ Better that then feeding his ego, making him feel like he ROCKED the Casbah, when really, you were mentally fucking someone else.

MEN: do not restrict your vocab in the moment to ‘uh’, ‘oh’, ‘um’, ‘yeah’, ‘that’s it’ and, my personal favourite, ‘oh yeah’. Give it some variation, throw a, ‘bet you can’t get it all in your mouth’, or a sly, ‘look how big your mouth is, I know you can do better’. (Though the last one could STOP everything and turn her into, ‘what do you mean my mouth is big? What, you saying I talk too much? See, I knew it… my girlfriends told me about you.’ And you watch her walk away. So CAREFUL!)

 
9.

 WALK THE STRUT IF YOU’VE TALKED THE GAME – there is nothing worse than bragging about your CRAZY head game or your WEST BANK dick that will have her screaming, ‘GAZAMISEH’… and NOT delivering the product advertised. Don’t promise a porn star performance if you know you only need two positions to get your nut and drop to a quick slumber. Keep it real with yourself. Only offer what your willing to give. That way there’s no expectations.

WOMEN: Give him what he ordered or what you provided for him on the menu… if you’re willing to go that extra mile, let him know, or spring it on him when his mind is somewhere else.

MEN: okay… now… men have a tendency to talk a good game more than women do. But that’s because the onus is put on men to MAKE the sex good for both of you. Plus, it’s not our fault… unfortunately, and it’s yet to be scientifically proven, but, our dicks sometimes speak for us. So when the opportunity to talk sex arises, so does our junior selves. And they like to talk about all the things they can do, based on past experiences, but every time is different. So don’t think that you’ll be able to fuck for four hours like you did with your ex, and then come after five minutes. Which leads me on to my next point… you cannot… repeat CANNOT blame a case of premature ejaculation on her ‘good pussy’. They don’t buy it guys.

 10.

SEX TOOL KIT – sex is not a plaster on a stab wound of a relationship, it will not FIX your problems, mend your broken heart or define your status on this planet. It will make you feel good for… as long as you can make it last for. Someone is thinking about having sex right now for all the wrong reasons, but, to them, they can’t see anything but legs in the air. It is a temporary euphoric release that dissipates after you’ve caught your breath after an orgasm… or had that bomb diggy nap. Because if you’re having sex to hide, mask or fix something, the pain of the wound will still be there.

WOMEN: rule sex, don’t let it rule you.

MEN: it may seem like the GALICE thing to do but sex is not a badge of honour.

Maybe you agree with my do’s and don’ts, maybe you think I’m way off, but, hey, you’ve been entertained!

Be good with it…

Peace and hair grease

Mr Oh

DON’T FORGET: Little Black Book – OUT NOW via amazon and all good internet and book shops

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