Awwwww, come on now…
Don’t be acting like I’m the only one who knows about sex outside the bedroom.
How damn right sexy it is?
How unbelievably delicious it can be?
The way it makes you wanna rush home and find the one you want and give them a seeing to that makes them cling on to within an inch of their life.
The imagery of orgasms that are conjured up in places that are not ya usual bedroom, kitchen, front room, stairs, bathroom, airing cupboard, the office, your boss’s office, the shop floor, your garden, parent’s bed or round the back of the church (if you like to get secular with it).
Sex outside the bedroom, though it sounds like I’m talking about… sex outside the bedroom isn’t in fact about sex outside the bedroom.
Allow me to elaborate…
Outside the bedroom.
We have it every second of every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year… up until we get old and can’t FUNCTION in those kind of places anymore.
A lot of you allow yourselves to indulge in regular sex that takes place so regularly that you’d be mistaken for Charlie Harper the way your swinging it around.
But your not… swinging it around, so to speak.
Your not putting yourself at risk of any tagalong diseases, accidental pregnancy or any dramas connected to emotions and feelings. Well maybe feelings, but we’ll broach that bridge later.
Sex outside the bedroom is the culture of using your mind to FUCK every and anyone you see. And it all takes place within the safe confines of the mind. That way no one can get hurt or try and tell you about your small dick.
A walk down a busy Oxford Street on a hot day for a full, red-blooded man is a rampant affair of the mind.
But that’s not to say that women don’t engage in such a harmless practice.
In fact, such thinking can sometimes be a deja vu moment for the future, if that makes any sense. Because how you think about doing said person could be the way you end up doing them if you follow up and make the fantasy a reality.
When was the last time you looked at somone in a picture or on TV or saw Gabrielle Union or Idris Elba and what was your first thought?
Something along the lines of ‘caged animal loving’, where you are pounced in the corner waiting for the moment to strike and take ’em down with a mid-section tackle.
Sex in the mind is a healthy release, not just for those who are planning ahead but for those who aren’t getting any in the first place. The thoughts and the feeling it inspires can fuel masturbation sessions for days, weeks to come… pardon the pun.
Plus it’s safe too, no split condoms, no quick dips “just for a second”, just mental arrangement of how her thighs will spread and how wet she will be.
Any one out there knows that sex really starts in the mind before it goes to any physical plateau. Which is what makes it so damn tasty.
In ya mind, you don’t have to deal with things that delay or damage sex in the real world like periods, change of minds, family visiting round, cock-blocking friends who just WON’T go home, etc.
In ya mind, there is nothing but you and that person who is in there with you.
And because it’s in your mind, it can be whoever you want it to be.
This is a situation where Beyonce can be on her knees looking up at you while you sing, “To the LEFT, to the LEFFFT” or can come on Amber Rose’s bald head without having to worry about random tweets from Wiz Khalifa or Kanye West about the fact your tasting THEIR dick when you fuck her.
It’s your imagination… in there she asked you to and you gladly obliged.
If you wanna get a little bit interesting with it, you can see what the chick who played Precious is like in the sack without having to worry about having your picture snapped with her. (Am I the only one who wondered? Is that a tumbleweed I see? Lol)
Beautiful thing about the mind is that sex with someone can and WILL pop up anytime. You could be sitting in your weekly meeting, fiddling with a pen, listening to the boss drag on about the usual random crap about the company and how there are standards to uphold and you look across to the member of staff with the strong thighs and the skirt that shows a bit more leg than usual.
That could kick in a series of dirty thoughts that have the pair of you sitting in an empty meeting room. You don’t know where all the other staff have gone, really you don’t care. It’s just you and her.
This means you can go under the table and start the ride between her thighs, spread her on the table like Christmas dinner and do all the debauchery actions things you’ve always wanted to do in your mind.
You may NEVER get to do those things to said person so ya mind may go into some interesting places, doing things you may never do in real life.
That’s the beauty of the mind.
Oh, I almost forgot about what the mind does with lips.
The mind, for some people, takes a pair of thick, full lips and puts them right where they’re needed.
Side of the neck. (I know someone shivered just now.)
On a nipple.
Between the thighs.
In ya ass…
It’s your mind so your allowed to think it even if you don’t do it.
It’s pure, free, unedited, makes you smile thinking that you can indulge in without having to go through the rigamarole of putting in work just to achieve the image that your mind has created.
You can fuck like a sailor if your a soft and gentle rider, you can make someone the filthiest person in your mind without having to find out if they are that way inclined.
You can fuck the person that is TOTALLY out of your reach while looking at them and they have no idea what is going on in your mind.
If only they knew.
But you know.
Oh, YOU know.
What did they do to you in your mind?!
Was it good?!
Sometimes, it’s better to keep it in the mind.
You could take those thoughts and put them into the reality of your world and come out disappointed and pissed off thinking, ‘that’s not how I saw it in my mind’.
And that’s the worst.
Because it then ruins the fantasy you had of the person.
So, next time you have sex outside of the bedroom, and indulge in your mind, make sure you go ALL IN!
Rip some clothes, don’t play with it, throw in some major rough housing, TAKE the orgasm, swallow the juice…
It’s ya mind…
It’s safe and free…
Whether you throw down like so in reality is up to thee…
But you will always have that special time in your mind where it was just you and them. No one gets hurt… just straight pleasure.
It’s funny when you get to meet the person who filled your mind.
You think to yourself, “you have NO idea what I did to you in my head last night…”
They have NO idea…
But you do…
By Mr Oh