Tag Archives: swallow

Who has to work the hardest for supreme intelligence, men or women?

Image

 

There’s no lengthy intro or fancy words to describe what the hell this blog is about.

This is a simple, straight to the point question.

 

Who has to work the hardest when it comes to head; men or women?

 

This was a random thought I had when I was fighting through writer’s block and couldn’t string two words together.

I was thinking about oral sex, as per usual, and I could picture a man giving a woman some brilliant cunnilingus and then, on the other screen in my head, I could see a woman giving a man what can only be called the ‘Lethal’ treatment (shout out to Lethal Lipps with all that spit and shit).

 

And I thought, who has to work harder for the pleasure?

Is it women who have to measure up and work out how they’re gonna take the dick to the jaw or is it men, who have to analyze and formulate a plan of pussy attack before orgasms curl down their moustaches?

For me, this is an interesting question because when it comes to that goooooood intelligence (that’s slang for oral sex, just for you uneducated), you need to know what it is your partner likes.

You need to know HOW your partner likes.

You need to know what works best and what levels of best you should apply with your mouth.

You need to know what makes your partner’s chest rise and fall with no trouble at all.

 

But, when it comes to doing the damn thing with your lips and your tricks, it’s not as easy as it appears to be.

So, I’m gonna look at both sides and, at the end, come to a decision (pardon the pun) and say who has to work the hardest with their mouth for an orgasm. In my own opinion.

You may agree, you may disagree, you may be disgusted, you may lick your lips and suddenly feel in the mood to have your lower middle tickled just a little… let’s see…

 

So… let’s start with the ladies…

 

DO MY LADIES RUN THIS… nah, let’s not do that!

Ladies, let’s start with you.

When it comes to head, your quest for intelligence lies at the end of a blowjob.

The old dick in the mouth something.

 

When done right, it can be as good as actual intercourse and when done DAMN right, it can forgo the intercourse and make him buss and have to issue a “this has never happened before” type of apology.

But what about the giver of such knowledge? What about her battle to get her man to the happy place, which is either happy enough that he knows you’ve got skills, hard enough that he’s ready to fuck or wet and shrunk enough that he is laying there trying to catch his breath as an orgasm took him by surprise?

A woman will tell you that giving head isn’t as easy as they make it look. To us men, it looks like it’s as simple as bob, weave, dip, swirl, purse of the lips, lick, etc. but there’s a fair bit they have to take into account. Such as the size of the dick they’re about to conquer, the sensitivity, even the man himself is a factor.

Dicks are not easy to deal with. They grow, they shrink, sometimes they’ll blow before you know it.

But let’s start at the initial ‘suck’ part.

Not easy at ALL, especially if your one of those women with a small mouth and your facing a rather large dick before you.

If you have a generally medium-sized mouth and, in your sexual career, you’ve been known to deepthroat 8 inches with ease, you still have a lot to deal with. If you’re blessed with a disrespectful pair of full lips and the ability to deepthroat more length than he owns, you’ve still got a lot on your plate.

He could be a rough throat fucker, maybe he wants you to take it all the way down your throat and your only used to taking it up to your tonsils.

Maybe he likes his dick suck wetter than a beach towel in a tsunami and you can only muster up a battery-sized amount of spit.

Maybe he wants you to drop techniques only seen in porn, while your style is more Tulisa than Italia Blue.

Maybe he likes his balls licked and you think they look like weird meatballs and you don’t wanna do it.

And then there’s lockjaw… and that just sucks ass in general, no ladies?

 

There’s a lot to sucking a dick.

A lot of work, breathing techniques, wretch holding, hand twisting and multi-tasking involved and that’s before she has to deal with what to do with the orgasm once it arrives.

Does she swallow, does she not, does she take it to the face, does she take it on her breasts or does she bend the dick back and make him cum on himself?

It’s a big decision.

A big decision for a big moment.

Cuz dicks… they ain’t easy to take, orally that is.

 

 

But then, on the OTHER side of it, there’s the work that the men have to put in when it comes to cunnilingus.

The moment between a woman’s thighs.

For a man’s quest for supreme intelligence, he has to have his head game on a hundred, thousand, trillion as Kanye would say.

 

When it comes to giving a woman head, there is a LOT a man has to take into account. It’s not just about opening her legs and putting your mouth where you see a button.

She may not necessarily like her button dealt with in that way.

Maybe she wants her pussy fucked with a tongue.

Maybe she likes fingers added with a particular degree of moisture.

Maybe she wants single laps up and down with her lips held open.

Maybe she wants to hold your head and direct you.

Maybe she likes being able to face fuck you while calling you a ‘dirty fucker’.

 

Maybe she wants to do all those things and more… but, you have to be ready. And you have to be adaptable.

You have to be able to react and listen to her, respond to what she likes, repeat the thing that made her back arch and be willing to search for more.

And also fight off the lockjaw AGAIN.

 

(Head ain’t head until someone gets lockjaw!)

 

Then you have to make her cum. Now if you’ve decided to go down on a woman then you HAVE to make her cum from it.

That’s the unwritten rule!

You don’t go to Costco and leave with a plastic bag of items, you leave with boxes. As many as you can take!

With so many zones of enjoyment in and around the vagina, you have to learn, and learn quick, what she likes to the point that her hips rise and fall because it’s started to feel that good. When you find it and you work it, you could be there for seconds or double figure minutes.

That’s the roll of the dice that comes with cunnilingus.

 

 

Now, in my opinion, who has to work the hardest for that SUPREME intelligence?

No disrespect to women and the work they have to put in when it comes to slurping and burping on a man’s Melvin but you have it easy in comparison to men.

 

And I’ll tell you why.

 

Women, you have one straight, up standing piece of work ahead of you, and two small assignments hanging below. Because of the shape of the upstanding piece of work and the two small assignments, you don’t have to venture far away from a repetitive movement on any of the three.

You know any part of his dick you touch with your mouth is generally gonna make him feel like its all good in the hood.

Working your mouth in a sweet, delicious way will be the medicine for his sickness.

Sucking the head with a bit of a slurp sound will make him harder than he ever thought possible.

A deepthroat all the way to the base of him will make his dick venture past your mouth and into your throat, and that’s a whole different type of feeling.

Maybe a bit of a gag sound, maybe a whole LOT of a gag sound could help.

Add saliva from a wet mouth and the inclusion of hands and ladies, you LITERALLY have men by the balls.

You know you’ve got that easy work when you blow him for five minutes or less and he’s blowing harder than Chinese math.

That’s that woman who found a way to give maximum pleasure with minimal effort.

Not knocking ya at all.

In fact GOD BLESS YA!

But you DO have it easier.

 

Men? *sigh*

 

We DO have a task on our hands sometimes, don’t we?

That lockjaw kicks in like a muuug and you have to find an adaptive style that helps rest ya jaw but keep the pleasure coming.

It takes a hot minute to find that EXACT move or combination of moves that makes it feel the way it should.

Unlike the phallus of man, woman is built with a sugar-walled reception area, equipped with a button that likes to be pressed but only a certain way. Inside this reception area are lovely walls lean on and touch and, if you have the tongue length, you reach the place deep inside the reception room that only most dicks reach.

If you work it wrong, it can instantly close up and monkey wrench anything further between you. You know what I mean when she has to reach down and show you how it should be done. And not showing you in the sexy way either. I mean that annoyed way where you can damn near hear her huffing and puffing in frustration cuz you’re just not getting it. And that never feels good.

Of course it bruises the ego!

We’re men, and we’re proud and we think that if we are eating your pussy, we have the skill and the ingenuity to work around until we enter the right combinations to unlock an orgasm.

She may like it this way…

That way…

Front ways…

Back ways…

Softly…

Nibbled just a lil bit…

Licked hard…

Feather like touches just over the hood of her clit…

She may need that bullet motion where you keep as much pressure on her clit with your tongue as possible… then hum.

Maybe she likes her clit enveloped between two fingers while gripping a nipple, tonguing her pussy jussssssst inside and to the right while humming The Cosby Show theme tune.

Or the classic straight fuck the pussy with your tongue and try and get it in as far as you can!

 

Who knows, the possibilities are endless.

 

As much work as it CAN be to find the right grooves for the song, its still a pleasurable experience and, when done right, can be enjoyed more by the eater than the plate of food writhing in ecstasy.

There is nothing more GRRRRRRRREAAAT than making a woman cum using your mouth. Then have her look down at you like, “well where the hell did THAT come from?”

Maybe you get the audio, moaning, shuddering then breathing heavy version but the message is the same.

 

Really, it doesn’t matter how hard either sex works when it comes to delivering that supreme intelligence, as long as they are willing to put in whatever work is necessary to get the job done. Whether that job is simply pleasing, warming up for something else, cumming or just to fill the time, put that work in.

 

Represent with your mouth and supply that SUPREME INTELLIGENCE!

 

BUT…

I did also hear bisexual women apparently give THE best head so maybe that just negates my whole blog…

Damn women… always gotta win!

 

 

So says

 

Mr Oh

 

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I will but will you?

(Thanks to the amazing, hella fine, Kool and the gang, hook a brother up with a 3 day pass @SexySecret09 for the idea…)

So it’s another night.
You and your partner are together.
Ya warm and all agreeable and shit.
At a point where fingers are fiddling, eyes are meeting and speaking, your libidos are raging and there is nothing else to do except get it on.
Her bra goes this way, his boxers go that way…
His resolve goes out the window and her restraint was left at the front door.
It’s HOT now and nervous fingers become busy and focused on the lecture at hand.
The first kiss is electric.
Your damn near singing H-Town’s The Rain in your mind.
His hands on the small of your back is just what the doctor ordered.
She masturbating him all nice and wet.
It’s about to do DOWN…
Her thighs are too and fro.
His dick is up and more than ready to rock and roll…

Then…

It happens.

The inappropriate question. The gesture for a step in the wrong direction that makes you feel not so sexy anymore.

“Babe, will you eat my ass?”

“Can I spray whipped cream in your pussy and eat it out?”

Erm… I’m sorry, WHAT?!

Right now, your laying there, hot and bothered, really to play Super Mario and get that pipe or you are up standing and ready to feel her warmth but your Empire State Building becomes an instant limp shack.

You don’t know where the question came from, you don’t even know why in the hell they asked such a question, especially at that time, but now you’re staring at a dilemma.

Do you?!

You may say no straight away but, that could be the way to get yourself out of a bed situation and into a ‘maybe you’d be more comfortable at your own house’ situation.

Those questions above are only examples of the situation I’m referring to, but, in bedrooms everywhere, someone is requesting something that their partner may not be into, has never done before or something that made them screw up their face like, “ewwwwwww!”
But what do you do then?
After the initial ‘what the fuck’ moment has passed, what do you do next?
Do you do it? Or do you not? Does it depend on the act itself? Does it depend on the person asking? Does it depend on the WAY you’ve been asked? Or will you just plain refuse because you are strong in your principles and no amount of persuasion will change that?

One word for ya: experiment.

I’m not saying that if a woman wanted you to eat her ass or a man wanted to spray whipped cream from a can in your pussy and eat it out that you should let them in the name of experimentation. But, don’t shoot it down so quickly… (pardon the pun)

Take ya time… think about it… let the idea marinate for a minute.

It maybe the case that you have never done the act before and you are highly sceptical about what it will feel like, look like and even how your partner will react.
But take that chill pill and just relax… smoke a spliff if that’s your vice. (Even if it isn’t do it anyway, lol.)

THEN DO IT!

Live a little for crying out loud…

Open your mouth and swallow if you never have, slow ease into her ass if she’s asking you to put it there, if he wants you to spit on his dick with huge globs of spit, do it… what have you got to lose.
The person asking you is asking for a reason. So really, the main thing for YOU to get over is can you do it?!
Can you swallow it up and get over whatever it is in your head that is stopping you from doing it?

Some people are stubborn and hard-headed to the point where if someone suggests something between the sheets, they won’t want to do it… just because it has been suggested to them… like the suggestion is a knock against their sexual prowess.
If they came up with the idea themselves, then they’d work it like it. But to suggest something to them makes them hard headed.

Case in point: if Donald tells his friend Eli how to FUCK his own girlfriend (I can’t think about a situation where this type of convo would take place), Eli might not really wanna try the suggestions out. To Eli, it’ll feel like he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he might not try ’em. BUT… he may try them in small individual doses and, if they work, he’ll claim them as his own.

Sex is give and take, sometimes you gotta give, sometimes you gotta take. (That’s the Cosby Show advice)
Sex is supposed to be some beautiful thang, with twists and turns, wild rides, smooth strolls and humming verses of Jill Scott’s Crown Royal.
Requests may pop up that have never been put on the table before but, if they do, don’t be closed minded about it.
Think about it, take it into consideration.
Remember the person asking you is asking for a reason… there could be a hidden, mammoth, squirting orgasm at the end of that yellow brick road. But because your so stubborn and old school, you won’t even want to try.

If your not one of those people who is even open to try, thus your partner doesn’t even ask, then you will have an unhappy partner who may want to do something but is too scared to ask.

The tagline for my trilogy of Little Black Book is open ya eyes, mind and thighs…
So open all three…

You JUST might like it…

So says Mr Oh…

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Do’s and don’ts of sex

Do’s and don’ts of sex…

This is in no way shape or form a DEFINITIVE guide on what you should and shouldn’t do during sex (I mean I may put my tongue where others won’t, plus if it was, this would be a BITCH of a list) – so let’s just get that out the way…

SEX

I talk about it, do it, write about it, think about it, taste it, visualise it… I just like it.
But, as we all know, there is an unwritten unspoken set of rules that people GENERALLY adhere to in order to fully succeed in achieving that REAL good, make her thighs shake, make him walk like an Egyptian, sweat dripping, body trembling sex.

These are 10 do’s and don’ts for the best way to achieve the sex that your friends TELL you they have… unless you’re freakier than them…

DO’S

 1.

PAY ATTENTION – a simple, but HUGE start. Watch what makes your partner tick, what makes her voice hit that Mariah Carey octave or what makes him grab all over your body because he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Chances are, if you are hitting that SPOT the right way, and you keep doing it, someone’s gonna be coming soon.

WOMEN: If a woman moans when your twist her left nipple, breath on her right one, with one finger on her clit and another making it’s way in, then she LIKES it. DUH! So remember that move and add it to your mental rolodex.

MEN: Anything that gets his toes curling, face frowning or anything that makes him open his mouth in a perfect O is a keeper.

 2.

 BE DARING – why not try a spank from on high? Or rub the space between his balls and his anus during head? There are still a lot of hang-ups about particular sexual practices in the world but, to be honest, the quietest of people will like the freakiest of things.

WOMEN: If your head is telling you to suck his dick like a porn star, armed with porn star wrist action, dirty talk and saliva, then try it.

MEN: If you want to lift her legs back PAST her head and lick her ENTIRE crotch, what’s stopping you? What have you got to lose? Besides a possible eruptive orgasm.

3.

 ALWAYS BE PREPARED – at one point or another, we’ve all finished and realised that the ‘clean up towel’ is out of reach or the flannel is in the bathroom and SOMEONE has to get up. But no one wants to move. So make sure, you’re ready for any eventuality.

MEN: If you plan to tie her up, but she doesn’t know it yet, make sure you tie up the restrains before she even gets to the bedroom. Hide things under the pillow, under the mattress, etc.

WOMEN: are generally prepared because they decided they were gonna sleep with you about two days ago AND how it was going to go.

 4.

LET IT ALL GO – that’s the best way to be… free as a bird… not thinking about your Tesco’s shopping list or if it is CSI Miami or CSI Vegas on today… your mind should be on the task at hand. Distractions can lead to sudden situations such as:

WOMEN: leaving your mind temporarily and saying the first name that comes out of your mouth, even if it isn’t the name of the person above or below you. (It’s happened…)

MEN: not really feeling the way she’s working you, and the dreaded DROOP kicks in and no amount of looking or touching is getting it back up.

 5.

SWALLOW – there is nothing like watching or listening to someone slurping down the fruit juice of your labour… especially if you’ve been made to wait or have CHOSEN to wait it out. If you’ve been made to feel the way you should, you will WANT swallow what is coming to you… but if you’re not having your scratch itched, it could also brighten up the most boring of sessions.

MEN: don’t be scared of pussy juice… it won’t scald you… or turn your skin green. If you’re reading this and saying something along the lines of ‘I don’t go down for nobody’, then YOUR missing out… TRUST ME!

WOMEN: what is there to say about swallowing that you don’t already know? Nothing… just make it wet and deep and God bless ya!

DON’TS

 6.

 BODIES ARE NOT TOYS – whether you stroke the dick with too much kung-fu grip or your fingernails are too long to slide inside, you gotta make sure that YOU are representing yourself. Groom yaself, take care of the body you bring to the table and the body you are trying to please… it is there for your pleasure, not for you to treat like some old t-shirt that you paint in.

WOMEN: a few things to always remember – a strong grip on a dick isn’t ALWAYS necessary. Sometimes, men keep quiet, but we don’t like for our head’s to look like they’re about to explode. Teeth too. You gotta remember to keep them teeths covered… they have ROUGH edges… a grimace isn’t always in pleasure.

MEN: groping is fine to an extent but you have to be given the permission, otherwise keep it smooth and constantly moving. Another thing, not ALL women like a ‘rammer jammer’ in bed so don’t think that ramming her THROUGH the headboard will make her come. I did say, not all, because there is a fair share of women who don’t mind that all night long.

 7.

KEEP TOILET GAMES IN THE TOILET – not much of a fan of being pissed or shit on to be honest… but some people do… to each their own… but, if you ARE into that type of thing, MAKE SURE the other person is too. Because you don’t want her to be coming like a geyser then you stand over her and take a number two. This touches on ‘DO number 5’, but men HAVE to know the difference between a woman coming in their mouth and a woman peeing. If you don’t then… HAHAHAHAHA… take that shit to the grave… YOU got caught slipping.

MEN: just don’t do it.

WOMEN: just don’t do it either… leave the golden showers for private time on the can.

 8.

SENSES – it’s one thing for your body to not be into it, but for your eyes and mouth to show disinterest is a REAL mood killer. If you’re lying there, like a rag doll, forcing yourself into position, huffing and puffing when something feels wrong, rolling your eyes, fixing up your mouth like you’d rather be drunk, etc. It’s not a good look. And, in turn, the performance from both participants will suffer and the orgasm could just be to get it out the way so one of you can sleep. Why are you fucking in the first place?

WOMEN: though a lot of sexual emphasis regarding sounds is put on women, you DO make our engines roar when we hear the road enjoying the ride. If you’re not feeling it, it’s better to keep it real and just say, ‘you know what, we need to stop!’ Better that then feeding his ego, making him feel like he ROCKED the Casbah, when really, you were mentally fucking someone else.

MEN: do not restrict your vocab in the moment to ‘uh’, ‘oh’, ‘um’, ‘yeah’, ‘that’s it’ and, my personal favourite, ‘oh yeah’. Give it some variation, throw a, ‘bet you can’t get it all in your mouth’, or a sly, ‘look how big your mouth is, I know you can do better’. (Though the last one could STOP everything and turn her into, ‘what do you mean my mouth is big? What, you saying I talk too much? See, I knew it… my girlfriends told me about you.’ And you watch her walk away. So CAREFUL!)

 
9.

 WALK THE STRUT IF YOU’VE TALKED THE GAME – there is nothing worse than bragging about your CRAZY head game or your WEST BANK dick that will have her screaming, ‘GAZAMISEH’… and NOT delivering the product advertised. Don’t promise a porn star performance if you know you only need two positions to get your nut and drop to a quick slumber. Keep it real with yourself. Only offer what your willing to give. That way there’s no expectations.

WOMEN: Give him what he ordered or what you provided for him on the menu… if you’re willing to go that extra mile, let him know, or spring it on him when his mind is somewhere else.

MEN: okay… now… men have a tendency to talk a good game more than women do. But that’s because the onus is put on men to MAKE the sex good for both of you. Plus, it’s not our fault… unfortunately, and it’s yet to be scientifically proven, but, our dicks sometimes speak for us. So when the opportunity to talk sex arises, so does our junior selves. And they like to talk about all the things they can do, based on past experiences, but every time is different. So don’t think that you’ll be able to fuck for four hours like you did with your ex, and then come after five minutes. Which leads me on to my next point… you cannot… repeat CANNOT blame a case of premature ejaculation on her ‘good pussy’. They don’t buy it guys.

 10.

SEX TOOL KIT – sex is not a plaster on a stab wound of a relationship, it will not FIX your problems, mend your broken heart or define your status on this planet. It will make you feel good for… as long as you can make it last for. Someone is thinking about having sex right now for all the wrong reasons, but, to them, they can’t see anything but legs in the air. It is a temporary euphoric release that dissipates after you’ve caught your breath after an orgasm… or had that bomb diggy nap. Because if you’re having sex to hide, mask or fix something, the pain of the wound will still be there.

WOMEN: rule sex, don’t let it rule you.

MEN: it may seem like the GALICE thing to do but sex is not a badge of honour.

Maybe you agree with my do’s and don’ts, maybe you think I’m way off, but, hey, you’ve been entertained!

Be good with it…

Peace and hair grease

Mr Oh

DON’T FORGET: Little Black Book – OUT NOW via amazon and all good internet and book shops

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