Tag Archives: Tatiana

The Tatiana Blue interview

Who are you?

Tatiana Blue, the world’s greatest shoe thief extraordinaire and, not to blow my own horn but, sexy as fuck too. Dreadlock rocking, over 60, 000 pairs of shoes stolen, all round chick ya chick wants to lick… yeah that’s me!
Toot toot!

Where did you come from?

What am I, a fucking alien? I’m from Stratford, east London. Born and raised. Technically I’m a figment of Mr Oh’s imagination but I live in Stratford. I’d rather not say where exactly because, well, you never know when Interpol is scanning blogs again.

Why do you steal shoes?

If you wanna know go and ask that prick Marcus why I steal shoes. You know that fucking ass fucking, fuck face of a human piece of shit…
And woooooooooooosah…
Sorry ’bout that… guess he still makes me angry after all this time. Even after seeing him again, I still wanted to tie him down, pour dry ice on his skin then go over him with some sandpaper.
Okay, back to the question…. why do I steal shoes? Well why not. Why wouldn’t I? If I can do it and get away with it, why the fuck not?
Over 60, 000 pairs of shoes stolen and never been arrested once!
That’s why I steal shoes… because I can. And I’m fucking the best at it.

Who’s Marcus?

Heheheeee… Who’s Marcus? What a piss taking question. You see I just almost fucking flipped out and then you ask me about him again.
We all know who Marcus is. If you read the book, you know who he is. He’s a prick is who he fucking is. Grade A fuck muncher. From what I read in the book, he should be arrested too. What he did to that chick must’ve broken a law or two.
But ya know what, fuck Marcus.
If you’re reading this Marcus, fuck you forever until you die!
That’s who Marcus is!

Favourite shoe?

Next question… I’m not even gonna bother…

Why not get a real job?

Like what? Security manager… done that already. Tesco? Done it… Foot Locker… done it… office job… done it… I’m done doing it.
I get to wake up and it’s about nothing but shoes. All day everyday.
If I don’t wanna get up and fly to Paris to pick up a few pairs of Louboutins then I stay in bed smoking weed and watching Love and Hip Hop or Real Househusbands of Hollywood. Because I can.
If you’re wondering how I manage to sustain myself by stealing shoes, well let’s just say there are ways of selling those extra pairs I pick up.
You’re job may take you on the central line, DLR, maybe even a bus but mine takes me to Las Vegas, Indonesia, New York, Milan, Bulgaria, L.A.
I am literally internationally known… and I love it.
Because I’m seriously that good at what I do. Think of Colombiana, but thicker with dreadlocks and that’s me.

Don’t you feel guilty about stealing?

Should I?

Okay… erm… Don’t you get bored of stealing shoes?

Ask any woman if she gets bored of high heels and expect the ‘stupid question’ face looking right back at cha…

What does the future hold for a shoe thief?

More shoes more shoes more shoes… *stupid question face here*
I’ve found out recently that after I expressly told him not to write about me anymore, Mr Oh went and researched my very first job and the fucker decided to write about it. But he’s doing a good job so far. I’m definitely gonna “edit” it though. And then, after that, I’m going to get my Russell baby back.

Who’s Russell?

*stupid question face*
You know damn well who he is so don’t play dumb. He’s the sexy chocolate that changed my life.

What do you plan to do with all the shoes you’ve stolen?

Keep ’em. These are some stupid ass questions.

Where do you keep them all? Your shoes.

Two flats, four apartments and two houses. London, Belgium, Jamaica, New York, Manchester and just bought a new house in the Hamptons. Huge basement. Purrrrfect.

Where can people find you?

Well really if a thief is good enough then you won’t find ’em. But unfortunately because Mr Oh wanted to dry snitch on my life in a story called FootSoles and PantyHoes in his book, now I’m immortalized in some shit.
I’m smarter now though… but seriously no more writing about me.

I’ll see what I can do

No you’re gonna do as your told and not write about me any more, do you hear me?

Erm, there’s no way in hell your gonna come in my blog and start talking shit to…

PFFFTT…

You know me Mr Oh so you know the types of things I could do to you, especially as that tranquilizer dart starts to take effect.

Did you just… Zzzzzzzz…

Thanks for the interview Mr Oh… we’ll do this again sometime when your mouth and your attitude doesnt get you fucked up!

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What’s been going on in Oh Town?

Been a while since I’ve written a blog so I thought I’d just write a lil suttin’ about what’s been going on with me and my writing.
I’ve been slacking on my blogging macking so let’s change that.

Heeeeey y’all… how ya doing?

I’ve been off in the laboratory writing.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had that feeling of wanting to write (supreme writers block) and I just couldn’t shake it off.
But then Legacy Publishing came a knocking and its as if it all came back.
Then came The Train

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A free short story available to download to your kindle and nook on Amazon. Just a lil suttin suttin to keep you interested in me and my work.
This story dropped around Christmas and was closely followed by…

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Another short story giving you more of that Ohfluence, keeping the erotic mind play party going.

And now… I got another short story coming real real soon and it’s called…
7 Floors…

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A collection of short stories that will be available March 22nd 2013…

These stories were born on this same here blog but I’ve given them remixes to fill the space between now and the next extravaganza that’s coming.

And what extravaganza is this I hear you ask?
Well…

Since joining Legacy Publishing, I’ve been working on a brand new rerelease of the entire Little Black Book series.
That’s right… we’re starting all over again.

If you’re wondering why…
Business wise, it makes perfect sense… but as a writer, that means I can go back and change things I missed first time round and it also means I get to see what worked and what didn’t and change some thangs.
More importantly, I get to add some thangs.
Like more stories.
Like stories that people have been asking for.
Like more stories about some of reader’s favourite characters.
Oh, fuck it, you know I’m talking about one character only.
My gurl Tatiana Blue.

The first new Little Black Book is coming sooner than you think and is gonna be bigger and better than the original. 
Trust me, for what I’m writing, and the way it’s come out,  you’re gonna FREAKING love it.

It’s a slow burn trying to get to where I wanna be, which is writing full time all day every day and we don’t play but I’ve got stories up the ying yang so there’s gonna be a lot more of me.
And with some key potential movements going on behind the scenes, things are moving on.

But as I said at the start of this post, I’m back on my blogging ish… so if there’s anything sexy subject you think I could give some Ohfluence, lemme know…
I’ll get in there like swimwear…

Peace and hair grease
Mr Oh

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