Ode to a fat pussy

Fat pussy

This blog was inspired by @Anne_Arts

If you find one, keep it, cherish it… put it in a glass case that says “BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”.

Lock it up, tie it down to something, make sure there’s mouse traps around it so it can’t go anywhere.

Get on some Indiana Jones adventure to find it and put it in a museum, wipe it up, lick it down and kiss the ting… make it a big lipped kiss.

Dunno bout you, or you, or him, but GOOD GAWD, if it ain’t fat, it’s gots to go… (really though, a dude who is close enough to the pussy to find out if its fat or skinny wouldn’t necessarily send it home).
But if you’ve ever met a fat pussy in your life; a real chunky, thick, full lipped, curving over the sides, printed in any jeans, leggings, trousers or skirt or dress kinda thing, then you know the allure.

As a man, and well-known pervert and people watcher, over time, I’ve seen my fair share of chunky monkeys (both in public and between the sheets) and I mean…. damn, even to see them covered by clothes is just a mouth-watering experience.
I mean, watch a fat pussy woman walking in a pair of leggings that snuck a little too high… high enough that they print pon the ting… WOOOI YOOOOOIIII…

Okay, lemme wipe my mouth and focus…

It’s not just the sight of a buff ting that men, and women, enjoy. It’s the touch, the feel, the lines and shape of it…
Ya ever seen a pussy so fat or thick that you just wanna grab it and just feel the meat of it under your fingers?
No… just me? Ok… moving on… swiftly…

It’s not like a fat pussy is different from a slim one… All the twists and turns are the same, the dead end roads are the same but the COMFORT of the ride is where the difference kicks in.

Fuck a fat pussy… see what the drive is like.
Get yaself into it and see how smooth the gears are.
Check out the brakes and really take it out on the road.

Believe me, there’s nothing like it.

For head givers, fat pussy is the BESTTTTTTTTAAAAH!
It’s probably what kissing Lethal Lipps is like.
If you’re one of those folk who like to kiss their way down a woman’s body, then you’ll find a gift at the end of a fat pussy.
Even before you get to the clit, you get to kiss the fatness. And us head lovers LOVE that!
By the time you get to the pussy, and you get to open the lips, hold them back and, as you hold ’em, a whole piece of meat creeps over ya fingers… then you got a fat pussy in ya grip.
You see those moments when you have ya tongue in a fat pussy and the lips crush over ya face like a straw in an earthquake? YUMMY…

I’m trying to finish this blog but my mouth is leaking…

Okay… I can’t concentrate…

FOCUS DAMMIT…

(Ice cream… chunky monkey…)

A fat pussy is best when it’s seen AND fucked…
Case in point:

Let’s start at the beginning… if you have a woman laying on her back, happy as Larry, with her legs in the air, not only do you get the pleasure of watching a pair of fat lips spread apart, you also get to watch them come back together. And ain’t NOTHING sweeter than seeing that shit… brothers (and my bi-sexual sistas) can I get an AMEN?

An addition to that position is when you put her legs on your shoulders and have the pleasure of looking down at her thighs squeezing two lips, look like Lethal Lipps (and if you’ve seen her lips, you know she got some big ass lips).

Same goes for when you turn her on her side, have her thighs on top of one another, have a peek round… fat pussy says hi.

Now doggystyle is when a man likes to play with a real handful or two of pussy. You know when he takes that slow moment before sliding it in and he takes the head of his dick and just runs it up and down before sliding it in? He’s enjoying watching those lips separate. I mean, who wouldn’t?

And that’s just a few… there’s tons of positions and random moments when you’re NOT having sex that a fat pussy is a joy to be around.
Like when she’s asleep, and the covers just HAPPEN to fall off her sleeping frame. She’s on her back, oblivious to the world, but her panties have bunched up nice and snuggly around her and, for a head giving, clit licking maestro, he will feel hungry in a heartbeat.

Or the moment when she’s walking in some boy shorts and it’s like you can SEE through them, it’s such a print.

Really, as the saying goes, pussy is pussy…
Dunno who came up with that actually… it’s pretty self-explanatory.
Some people like their vaginas thick, round and with beats by the pound and some people like ’em slim, trim and straight from the gym.
And the rides differ from woman to woman.

But for those chunky lovers, you know what you like and why you like it.
Maybe it’s the idea that the fatter the pussy, the better the ride. And that’s not necessarily true.
Guess you have to find a good one and make those Lethal Lipps talk.

*** Just on a side note, I’m not saying Lethal Lipps has a mouth like a vagina, but just saying that my girl has some big ass lips.

By Mr Oh

Letter to the bigger lady

Dear Woman,

Dear bigger, thicker, more fuller, curvaceous, adventurous woman that you are.
I have been thinking about you for a long time. I guess you’ve been on my mind because I’ve been a fan of yours for the longest time.
A fan is maybe not the right term… I should say I love YOU!

Big girl, thick girl, PHAT, whatever you call yaself…. sheeeeeet you may just call yourself woman but I have been watching you for the longest time and I cannot get enough of you.
Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in a black household of big women with bigger shapes, bigger personalities and bigger behinds.
I don’t know.
Whatever it is… I’ve got a MAJOR crush on you.

This crush has not been helped thanks to the existence of such beautiful big women such as Jill Scott, who is tip top on my list of big women who will find herself in a “situation” if she ever tripped and fell in front of me.

(Careful Jill…)

See, I’m not gonna write to you and say something like, ‘oh, I like your big personality’, that, to me, is quite offensive. What the fuck is a big personality?

Just because a woman is big, doesn’t mean she is super jolly and armed with a jolly sense of living life to the fullest, just because she’s big and the only thing to make her smile is a keen sense of carpe diem.

NO!

I’m here to say I love your curves.
You may be siting on a size 18 shape, with one or two rolls across the middle but I freaking love you just the same. You and the rolls.
I’m not sure about you but those stretch marks, the fullness of you, the way you look DELICIOUS when you put a corset on, the general warmth of you, etc.
All of that together makes me a willing visitor to the church of the big woman where you are praised.

I don’t ponder to stereotypes of you; that your a good cook, that you laugh a lot and that your belly jiggles when you giggle. (Well that last one maybe true, but still, doesn’t mean I love it any less.)
I’m talking to those real big women. You know who you are.
Your size, to me, is irrelevant. The attraction to you is what’s important.
The fact that there’s more of you; more to kiss, more to lick, more to taste, more to be around.
More often than not you can cook ya ass off and being in your company is always the shit.

Now, I haven’t said anything about your sex because, well, I thought I would keep it clean and clean. But since I’m talking about it… you are the SYYYYYYYYRUP!
That means you taste great at all times, you look great when your poured and covering me, when you give head the world is alright with me and I always keep a bottle of you close by.
A thick woman, possibly verging on bbw (that’s big black woman) is the dream of dreams and to be able to sexually engage with one is nothing short of a life experience.
Sure, like any woman, she has the same nuts and bolts as a smaller woman but there’s MORE of ’em … and their nuts and bolts are bigger too…

As everyone knows, there ain’t no party like a thick girl head party cuz that shit will make toes curl all night!
The pleasure of having a larger woman between your thighs is something I can talk about but I won’t be able to fully create the picture of how GOOD it is.
Ya mouth, thankfully, is quite accommodating… that’s the nice way of saying ‘quite large’. Ever so helpful when you are throwing ya NECK in, tongue sliding and deepthroating, quite easily I might add. (Check out any bbw porn video of a thick woman giving head and you’ll witness a sight of pure genius thinking.)

This letter isn’t just about how sexy you look in amateur-recorded videos watched on phone screens, its about more than that part of you.
Some of the most wildest experiences of my career have involved thick, full figured, sometimes more ass than you ever thought you could feasibly challenge women.
But it’s not just the wildness of you, it’s just about you.
I can’t explain why the stretch marks you rub religiously with cocoa butter endear, the way you fill clothes with your shapely ways attract me and the beauty I see in you addicts me.
I thank God you exist.
I kinda thank God that no matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to shift that last piece of weight that hangs onto you.
I understand you may be relatively self-conscious to stand without covering yourself but I LOVE to stare at you naked… curves, bumps and all.

These are the things that make you so damn delectable to me and I just wanna say… thank you.

Thank you for walking and switching that ass like that, thank you for filling out those jeans (sometimes spilling out), thank you for walking past with that amazing cleavage, thank you for knowing how to REALLY take a spank on the ass, thank you for such expert head, thank you for constantly inspiring my dirty mind, thank you for filling out corsets, thank you for being blessed with such stature.

Thank you…

Ya make the world go round…

I love what you hate

These days when you see a woman on TV, what do you see?

Long flowing straight hair (where the dreadlocks at?), slim slender shape (where the stretch marks?) and probably a lighter shade of caramel (where’s the Grace Jones shade?)

There is a regular shade, shape and look that creeps along our screens and magazines and is generally in our faces all the time and I am tried of it. I see it everywhere I go, everywhere I walk, it’s everywhere and I for one am making a stand.

My something something is about a lady’s stomach.. and the other bits she hates about herself.

Such a lovely place to look at, hang out, chill for a coffee and some conversation and meet people… but my problem with the place is the shape of it… or lack of shape.

See me, I like a pudge.
A lil’ bit of roundness in the middle of a woman’s shape.
Maybe a stretch mark or two.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo… boooy!

That’s my shit…
And the ‘shit’ of quite a few others as well.

A woman with a nice bit of curve on her stomach area is INCREDIBLY sexy to look at.
You can see it under her clothes and its like its calling you.

Now, most women are not 100% happy and comfortable with their pudge, they prefer to try and hide it with loose fitting clothes over the stomach or belts or other pieces of random clothing. And when the clothes come off, the vest might stay on or she might want the lights to go straight off.
And even while your fucking and the casbah is rocking and the bedroom is sweating and there is orgasm after orgasm, she slobbing and bobbing and it’s all great… but she still has the mind to pull her vest so it sits over her stomach. No show, no pudge, no belly shake, no nothing.

Such selfishness should be greeted with that real man shit where you realise what she’s doing and how shes doing it. Then you look her in the eye and tell her straight, “take it off”. She may ooooh and aaaah and be like, ‘eeerm, I’m not comfortable, can’t we just…”

No, you can’t just…

If I put myself in his shoes, I imagine he wants to see…you.
Every single piece of you. Whatever piece belongs to you, I wanna see it.
It can be lumpy, bumpy, fraught with stretch marks, not something you’ll see on America’s Next Top Model and rotund like the right side of the moon but I still wanna see it.
I want to see all of you.
I don’t care about what you feel is imperfect about you because it is usually those things that I want to see and feel pressed against me.
See because when I see you, I’m not looking for perfection. I’m not seeking the purest skin, the flattest stomach and perfect hair.
Send me a woman who’s slightly plump in the stomach, with a few blemishes on her skin and some split ends, but it looks good. Her ass may not be perfectly shaped but you could still sit a drink and a plate of jollof on it.

Let a woman run off a list of the things she doesnt like about herself and she’ll name at least three things that you probably find quite attractive or just don’t give a damn about.

‘Oh, I don’t like the way my eyebrows grow in this funny shape.’
(find a better threader… or waxer)

‘My legs are too big.’
(look for Anowa Adojah on youtube and let her train you)

‘I can’t stand my neck.’
(that’s on you, nothing you can really do about ya neck… except… FIX UP! Why hate and despise things you can’t do anything about)

‘I hate my nipples.’
(see retort above)

‘My hair is disgusting.’
(wash it, style it and keep it moving)

‘I wish I was slimmer.’
(if you wanna lose weight, go right ahead, but I really don’t mind the little pudge you rock in a very sexy way.)

This goes back to the simple things like a woman in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt… simple sexy.

The little imperfections that make you insecure and make you like to take your clothes off with the lights already off… you know… those moments when he runs his hand over your stomach and your QUICK to move it away.
Leave the hand nuh!!!

We ALREADY know you have it, we don’t CARE about it, we just want YOU! Plain and simples. Your little imperfections are what make you who we want to be with.
It’s not so easy to let go of the little things that we always want to change about ourselves enough to be completely comfortable but you have to trust that the person who is close enough to even see those imperfections, has to already know and not care about ’em.
Not EVERYONE feels this way and they are fine with their own personal image and are comfortable with the little pudges and crispy edges and to you I say GO ‘HEAD!!!

We just want you.
You to be free with yaself…
Just let it all go…
FREAK OUT…
Le freak ce chiq…

What’s the worst that can happen?
He starts to look at you differently? Maybe he doesn’t wanna touch you as much or he feels repulsed by the little things that make you YOU… well then is that really the person you wanna be with?

He just wants you to be you…

Be you…

By Mr Oh