Fake freaks – met one yet?

This is one of those posts that isn’t to anyone particular, and yet I feel like people will be able to relate.

First things first… This one is for the freaks! You know who you all are you ‘make it nasty’, ‘is that a sex swing’, I’m hungry for a dick in my mouth or a pussy on my face, starving for it all times of day and night type freaks.

Freaks come in all shapes, sizes, races and sexual orientations. But this isn’t about you you ‘spit on it’ freaky deaky you. Oh no, this is about the ones out there who aren’t really… *sigh* they’re not completely… you know… they aren’t 100% committed to the freaky ways. They say they are, but you usually find out when you attempt to throw something which to you could be quite normal (for your freaky sensibility) but to them, well, you might as well have just asked them to fuck a goat. They usually have this perplexed look on their face like, “well damn, I didn’t know you were living THAT life?’.

Full blown Kevin Hart noooooooooo…

The fake freaks if you will.

Now the term freaky is interchangeable depending on the person you are speaking to. One man’s anal is another woman’s cuckolding session. A freak, in the sexual sense, knows they are and fully embraces it without embarrassment or fear of judgement. They can take the look of disgust on a partner’s face when they suggest taking a variation of toys, nipple clamps and vibrators and having the equivalent of a gang bang. (Again, because freaky is different for everyone, that could be something quite normal for some but out of this world for others.)

Whether you are known as a freak or class yourself as freaky, it’s less about the things you do to have that title and more about the mindset. Freaks aren’t necessarily open to EVERYTHING but they aren’t afraid of experimenting too.

And then there are the fake freaks. The ones that were talking all the talk about how freaky they are, saying all the right things but then when the clothes hit the candle, their “freaky” seems quite vanilla. Women: you seem to get the guys who say they are freaky, offer all the ‘freaky’ options in the world with matching shoes and handbags to match, yet when it comes to, say, eating you out, he drops the classic, “man don’t do them things”. Or he’s scared to have his backdoor played with for fear of becoming gay during the insertion.

Men: our fake freaks vary from no originality in anything she does or no effort to promises of the best head ever but her mouth somehow feels like a dry flannel with no soap.

Now, let’s not get it twisted. Fake freaks are GOOD at what they do. Because the beauty of the fake freaks is that the real ones don’t meet them until it’s too late. You’re already naked and your thighs are in the air and you are sighing in heavy frustration because he only gave you like three kisses on your stomach then stopped and tried to insert his finger dry.

Fellas, if you’ve ever been getting head and you look down like “this doesn’t even feel good. Where’s all that talk you had before?” you know who I’m talking about.

Fake freaks get in there before you realise you’ve been duped. They do a quick run around the outside and when you look up and realise, “hey this wasn’t what I ordered” you’ve already been disappointed. Sometimes it’s way too late and you hold on thinking maybe the freak will pop out at a later date… and it never does.

There is no way to stop the fake freaks because ultimately they are trying to get to your level. That is what they are all about. Trying to match you so they can experience what a true freak can do. You would think that maybe your freaky would inspire them but…

They can’t help it. Some of them really do want to push past their unspoken fears, doubts and insecurities and cross the bridge into Freakopolis.

But the others really don’t and just like to say shit in order to get into a position where they can hit you with the long con. This is where you think you can wait for their freaky to show or teach them something new. That is sometimes like trying to get a Jamaican man fresh from yard to eat pussy. Can happen but, ya know… probably not.

For the short con, the fake freak could just be using their words with no actions to simply get in and get out. They know full well they are not living that freaky life. They aren’t ready to test the limits of their sexual careers and try something out of the box, they just wanna experience the freak that you are because something you’ve shown or told them has excited ‘em right nice.

Fake freaks are real and they are here people! They are in relationships right now with people who are just waiting for the freak delivery to be at their partner’s door. The real bitch about fake freaks is they are able to grab and hold people with their lies and deceit and bamboozle-ness and still be able to offer the bare minimum while their partner is sitting there like oh come on.

So fake freaks out there, don’t be fake anymore. Be yourself.

Don’t let the pressures of the REALLY freaky people scare you into trying to be someone you’re not. Stay in your lane and be comfortable with it. Don’t take your non-freaky ways and drape them over someone who’s freak is flying free like a bird (for some reason I was going to saying ‘flying free like a labia’ – don’t ask me why)

Don’t drown the real freaks out there. They’re good swimmers and they are comfortable in the water.

Peace and hair grease

Mr Oh

Leave a comment

Filed under Oh stuff...

Where has Mr Oh been for three years? 

So…  My last updated post was in 2014… I couldn’t believe it myself. I didn’t realise so much time had passed since I hadn’t blogged. 

So, where have I been? No where…  Literally right here… I just forgot the login and password. That’s it. 

It’s been a while since the Little Black Book series came out. There’s been bouts of writer’s block, doubts about whether I should still be writing, competition entries and expecting, rejections, etc. 

No more else to say on that but I’m gonna be blogging like a fiend because, besides having Prince music back at my finger tips, I feel the writing bug crawling around me again. 

That’s all gonna be explained in blogs to come. 

But hey….  Don’t know if you still check me out but you should…  It’s all about to get veeeeery fun with this writing thing. There’s books coming that readers have asked for and a network to encapsulate them all. 
Mr Oh 

*sings* I’m going down to Alphabet Street…  

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Tall Tales of Tatiana Blue 

Yes that’s right you read right…  And no it’s not a figment of your imagination it’s really Mr Oh…  I’m really back (not that I never left but I did forget my login and password)  and yes I am finally bringing the mystical, almost magical wonder that is Tatiana Blue in her own book. 

There is soooooo much to tell you about…  There’s the birth of The Chocolate Network, The League of Chocolate Gentlemen and the C.L.I.T.S are coming too…  
And there’s a lot on my mind I’ve been dying to gerrout…  So…  While you wait, hopefully you’re still around to ride with me. 

How ’bout some unseen, fresh to death images from from the Tatiana Blue photoshoot that took place last Friday. Same as the Little Black Book photoshoot…  I asked and wanted someone everyday with beautiful dreadlocks to be my Blue. Put the feelers out and two days later on my insta, she came….  (not like that but ya know). 

Found a location, got my old school hooomie to take the pics as he’s got a beautiful eye when it comes to scenes and colours. And he has naaaaailed it. 

This might not be a front or back cover but the hair…  The shoes…  The shots we got. 
Stay tuned…  

I’m Jack, I’m back and coming harder than a heart attack… 

Peace and hair grease

Mr Oh is back (though he never left) 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I am officially finished…

image

Ladies and gentlemen, I have officially finished writing Little Black Book volume 3.

If you’ve been with me from the beginning of this writing journey I’ve been on since 2011, you’ll know its been a lot but I’ve finally finished.

39 short stories
All London
Definitely sexy
Controversial in places
Questionable in others

But it’s what you should come to expect from moi and my interestingly creative mind.
Its been a lot to get through because I’ve wanted to make sure the stories are good enough to make it into the FINAL book as well as tie up some loose ends with certain characters (yes Marcus is back) and make sure the new faces I’m introducing are gonna blow your mind. Like The C.L.I.T.S – those ladies… just wait and see.

I’ve also tried some new styles of writing… not new to writing but new to me. For example, Talk To Me and it’s sister story Talk to Me Again… which are two stories about one phone conversation from his side and her side.
Or Power over the powerful,  which is one story with two possible endings and you the readee get to choose how it ends.
And of course, the last Tatiana Blue story, which is told completely by Miss Blue herself, called The heal of heels.

And there’s an interesting sequel to one of the most talked about stories in the entire Little Black Book series: Marcus and the Birthday.
So many people have asked me about that story or talked about what they would do in that situation (majority says they’d like a birthday like that-minority says call the police) but I won’t spoil it if you haven’t read it…

I mean, there’s Open up, Banana and Apple pie, Water, Hideaway, Fetish of the full figured, Strange moments at necessary times, Sniff the wet patch,  Did you cum, Intelligent people, Violence… and a whole host of other stories for your reading pleasure…

I just hope I’ve done the series justice. I’m editing the stories at the moment and I just want you to enjoy…
That was all I wanted to say.

I’ll be blogging a lot more… drop some info on The C.L.I.T.S and I think its time to talk about Tatiana Blue… who is now on Twitter by the way (@tatiana_bluey)

Anywhooo… gotta go… editing is awaiting…

Peace and lady finger grease…

Mr Oh

Leave a comment

Filed under Little Black Book Trilogy

12 orgasms of woman

 The female orgasm.

 

It’s a beautiful thang isn’t it? There’s so many variations of it, so many styles and techniques and words shouted out and eyes rolling back and thrashing like you’ve never seen thrashing before.

Get caught slipping and one of ’em can catch you in the eye. Don’t pay attention and one of ’em can have you kicked off the bed and rolled out on the floor like Deebo just sent you a ‘that’s my bike punk’ uppercut. Some of ’em make you worry that the person may have just died in front of you.

But, they all arrive and let you, the orgasm chaser, know that you’ve done something right.

Orgasms. Never have sex without one.

They rule the school. Great ones can stay in your mentals and physical for ever and poor ones can make you think about giving up sex all together.

Throughout my sex age (my sexual career) there’s always been focus on quantities of orgasms, whether a woman is having one or not. Dudes pretty much have one orgasms, that’s because, apparently we only have one and then knock out. True. But not completely.

Now, a woman’s orgasm is something different.

 As we know, a woman can have an orgasm like bullets firing from a gun – one after the other after the other after the other after the other. Lucky creatures.

And one orgasm can be different from the last.
Her first may not be like her seventh which may not be like her fourteenth.
If your lucky enough to see, feel or experience any of ’em, then you know how great they can be.
I swear, sometimes, it’s like a ticker tape parade with carnival music and a bass speaker making the entire bed bounce.

I think there are roughly about 12 different types of orgasms. Some of them may have elements of the other but each one has solo attributes that make them differ.

They are:

 

  1. Big one – self explanatory and simple, yet can make a woman feel like she is about to die a sweet death. A big one can rock her spot from her feet to her hair follicles. She may sound like a demon, depending on if she lets the sound loose or not. A big one can make the dick squeeze out and, if your lucky, follow through with a squirt. If you’ve ever had a big one, you’ll know it ‘cuz you probably fell asleep afterwards.

 

  1. Little one – the opposite of the ‘Big one’, this orgasm is the starter for a three-orgasm meal. It’s a like that moment before the sneeze when your nose tickles and you pause for a moment. That’s the small one. It gets ya quick but you breathe through it and keep going like it never happened. Probably just made things a lot more wetter than they were before.

 

  1. Quiet one – a favourite. Sort of like the ‘Little one’ but with less noise. If your an orgasm watcher such as myself, then you may notice it as a little scrunch of the forehead or a quick fist clench and then that’s it. It’s quiet because it sneaks up on you and has you feeling good in a way that you didn’t even know the orgasm was coming.

 

  1. Missed it one – not one that women have very often. Comes like “hey, did I just? I swear I just had a…” Generally a mix of the ‘Little one’ and the ‘Quiet one’.

 

  1. Electric shock one – now this one… this is a good one. This orgasm brings forth of sort of taser like movement from her that, in some cases, makes the delivery person slightly worried. A good electric shock will make her body involuntarily spasm and freeze and throb and vibrate and move like she’s been possessed (see: any crap possession horror movie over the last ten years)
    She might arch herself on the balls of her feet and her head and look like a captial C on it’s side but it’s all good. Best thing to do is leave her alone. Let her have the moment. It may last a minute, it may last five but when she’s done, you’ll know you’ve done a good job.

 

  1. It came, it went, keep going one – this orgasm is a good one because it’s one of the good ones that doesn’t stop proceedings. With this orgasm, she’ll announce it, experience it, then want to repeat it. So repeat it… and try not to cum before she does. That’ll annoy.

 

  1. Flying arms, hidden kick out one – this orgasm is a real spot rocker and turns your partner from a normal, sexy being who you’re trying to make have an orgasm, into a UFC fighter with arms and legs flaying everywhere. This orgasm is a like a ‘Big one’ and an ‘Electric Shock’ but she has enough clarity to throw her arms and legs all over trying to make the good feeling stop. She’s not really trying to make it stop, in fact, if her hands catch you she may scratch the shit out of you. Oh advice is to grab her arms and make them stop, catch her knees under your arms and keep doing what you were doing before she came. She’ll love and hate you for it.

     

  2. Don’t touch me one – a relative of the ‘Flying arms, hidden kick’ one, this orgasm is the plain and simple DO NOT TOUCH ME AS I’M COMING! She does not want to be touched or spoken to or addressed. She just wants to be left the fuck alone to enjoy her high.

 

  1. Fuck the neighbours one – not quiet, no finesse, no prim and proper behaviour. Just foul mouthed, raw, unedited orgasm. That’s it!

 

  1. Solar eclipse one – one of the most scariest orgasms on the list. This one doesn’t have a lot of tale tell signs but when it happens you know it. This is like the Oscars of the orgasm world. This is the orgasm that hits straight and, though you may see signs of the ‘Big one’, the ‘Electric Shock one’, the ‘Flying arms, hidden kick one’ and the ‘fuck the neighbours one’, the best aspect of this one is the ending. Before you realise it, she’s stopped moving. She’s silent and still, like you weren’t just making the bed scoot across the floor with energetic crotch meeting. This orgasm knocks her the fuck out, Deebo-style. She may wake up and not remember anything and that’s when you know you have given pleasure to the point where sleep is automatic and consciousness is a myth. Well done you!

 

  1. Stop don’t stop one – definitely one of the more confusing orgasms to encounter as you don’t know what the hell to do with yourself. One of the biggest worries in sex is hearing someone say no or stop and you miss it. So when you hear something that sounds like dissent or something that means stop what you’re doing, you don’t wanna miss it. And that’s where the confusion is. The joy of this orgasm for her is telling you to stop. She wants to tell you to stop and she wants you to ignore it. She wants to tell you to stop because she knows you’ll ignore it. Then she wants to tell you not to stop… because she knows you won’t stop. And that’s the fun!

    But, pay attention though. Recognise the difference between a playful stop and a REAL stop… you DO NOT wanna get them confused.

 

  1. The few minutes later one – now this orgasm has been revered and spoken about like a myth because not everyone has had one… not even a lot of women know this type of orgasm exists. But its definition, its not possible but, as someone who’s seen it in motion, it is possible and it is amazing. Now this orgasm isn’t exactly straight forward. It’s complicated. Because it doesn’t deliver straight away.
    You could be having sex and she has one of the aforementioned orgasms and that’s it, right? Done and squirting right? WRONG!
    This orgasm can come back like an 80s group who’s best song was sampled and now they have a comeback album and tour on the way.
    She can have stopped having sex, gone and began to clean up and when suddenly, out of nowhere, another orgasm hits. There could probably be a few minutes break in between the last orgasm and this one and it attacks with a touch of the ‘Flying hands, hidden kick one’ as well as the ‘Big one’ and the ‘Fuck the neighbours one’.

    Definitely one of the most worrying orgasms because it holds a lot of power within and can carry a touch of the ‘Solar eclipse one’ as well.

    Once, I delivered a ‘few minutes later one’, left and went to work and got a phone call 15 minutes later saying, ‘I’m in the bathroom hunched over the sink because another orgasm just came out of nowhere’. (Whether that’s true or not I’ll leave up to you, lol.)

 

And there you have it. The female orgasm in all of its many forms.

I’m not an expert on the female orgasm, although I can cause a lot of them so I know there are lots of other types of orgasms women can have ( the ‘masturbation one’, the ‘I think I’m gonna pee myself’ one’ , the ‘almost almoost almooost one’ and the ‘I need to sing for this this eruption one’) but I thought I’d cover the general ones.

 

They are just… the shit…

Whichever one you encounter or deliver, just make sure you take the time to enjoy it with her.

 

And make sure you can at least deliver an orgasm, or she’ll either find someone else who will or resent you for not delivering.

 

The female orgasm…

 

I’m loving it…

 

 

By Mr Oh

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Toys should be a guy’s best friend

Howdy hooo hey… it’s been a minute and a day since my last blog post but that doesn’t mean the saucy filthy ish hasn’t been cooking in the silence.

 

(There will be a Little Black Book update coming in the next few days ‘cuz there has been some ish going down.)

 

Now we done got past the intro shit, let’s talk…

This subject has been floating in my head for the last few months so I decided to literally take a break from writing a story for Little Black Book volume 3 and put my fingers in it.

 

Now, in random conversations, one thing I’ve heard and still hear to this day is about the curse of the toy rejection.

This is nothing to do with Christmas or giving toys. This is about a particular cross section of men who are not too fond of their lady’s affinity for toys in the bedroom.

These men come with their egos on their dicks (see what I did there or did the cum miss you?) and they are generally bedroom rulers who know what their doing, don’t ever need to be told or shown when or how to do things and they believe their dick game is the Taj Mahal of sex. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, especially if you know that he is correct in his belief and can actually back it up.

But, it’s not his skills that I’m here to mumble about…

It’s his lack of appreciation for any other form of pleasure that the pussy he’s seeing to receives when he’s not around. Or even when he is around.

Her toys; her box of treats, the vibrating things she keeps under her pillow, the hard, long thing she keeps in her underwear draw, etc, etc.

 

He HATES those things!

 

Why? Because he feels like they are his competition. He feels like that toy or toys (depending on how lucky you are to have found that one toy that does it all) are his replacement and are there to make him feel obsolete. He hates those things. He hates to know that you are using it when he isn’t there, he hates the idea of you owning it period and he especially hates when you try and bring that toy/s into the bedroom when he is doing his thing.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOooo… wanna emasculate this type of man? Lay on your back, give him your ankles and get a good stroke going. That good, righteous, this is the shit kind of stroke and just when your both getting really into it, pull out your toy and watch his face.

You might as well have pulled an extra man from under your pillow.

 

Because that’s how he feels about your toy. In his head, he knows it’s ridiclious to say this out loud but he sees your toy as your other lover. When he’s done and gone home, you break out your toy and have them look after you until he returns. Sometimes, you ladies don’t even wait for him to leave before breaking the toy out. How DARE YOU WOMEN!!!

Some of you have heard of these men, some of you have met these men between your thighs, some of you are actually these men.

That kind of thinking is absolutely nonsensically, seriously and realistically stupid… and I’ll tell you why.

What are they called? Toys. And what are toys? Meant to be played with!

That’s generally it.

 

Toys are not just woman specific first of all. I know there are fleshlights and such toys for dudes but a woman’s toys are just as much for us as they are for women.

Secondly, the reason why I say that kind of thinking is stupid is because those men are thinking of the toys as an enemy, as something there to replace them, instead of looking at them as a bredrin, as a friend, as a tag team partner.

 

Having the fear of something else pleasuring your lady instead of embracing it is a one-way road to masturbating alone-ville. You see, ladies like their toys so making an issue about them will only push them closer to the toy and away from you, lol. Okay, that’s not true but you see what I mean.

You know what you should do… and I’m speaking specifically to those guys…

 

You know what you should do? Take the toy she likes to play with and spend some time with it. Become one with the toy. That toy should mean more to you than it does to her. Why?

Well put it this way…

 

BA Baracus was a bad mother SHUT YO MOUTH all by himself right? But with the other members of The A Team around him, they become a force of destructive nature, running through illegal hideouts and criminal gangs like a hot comb through tough hair.

Same thing.

Bruce Lee by himself… dangerous as fuck,,, but give him a pair of nunchuks and… well you saw Enter the Dragon (and if you haven’t then I judge you).

 

A man can be great in the sack but, with the mastery of toys under his belt and his already, hopefully, top notch dick game, he cannot be stopped. Her orgasms are gonna flow like a shiny glow of a soul. She’ll start having orgasms she’s never had before… and there are a few different types. (Hmmm… another blog subject me thinks.)

Basically, she’ll love you for it.

The head you get will be better, every position from here on out will have a more a stank face to it, her kisses will feel more intense, she may even let you get in the back door, loool. (Just kidding… but only a little bit of kidding.)

 

You know the best place to start when it comes to learning about women’s toys?

Masturbation.

Sit down in front of her and watch her masturbate with one of her favourite toys. Not hand down the panties type play, I mean, get her fully naked, get out her best toys and sit there with 3D glasses on and take notes.

Find out what her favourite toy/s may be and why. Find out what she uses the toy for and how it makes her feel. Find out how she uses the toy (‘cuz you’ll find that a lot of women use their own toys in their own way. So the 9-inch dildo could be the shit but then she could only use the clit attachment on the front ‘cuz it makes her cum quickly).

Get involved when she masturbates, throw a hand in, a tongue, an elbow even, do something but make sure you are touching her in some way, shape or form. Because you’ll learn shit.

You’ll learn things that she likes that you don’t do and which you can then add to your sexual CV and own new tools that make you a more well rounded love machine.

 

Prime example… I mentioned before about laying her back and having ankles in both hands… well that is the position I want you to go away and try and come back and let me know what happens.

Slide in in this position and get a great stroke going… THEN… let her pull out her favourite vibrating toy and put it on her clit while you are still sliding in and out of her.

I’m not talking about no rammer jammer shit… go through the whole gamut of sex strokes: fast, hard, slow, soft, barely moving, adjusting the angle you come in from, try it all and I GUARANTEE she’ll be a happy camper by the end and you, sir, will be the motherfucking man.

And you’ll have a new transferable skill for the CV.

PLUS…

Knowing how to play with a woman the right way is a great addition to foreplay and you can then take the toy from her and show her that;

  1. You ain’t afraid of her toy and,

  2. You know how to use a toy!

 

For those men out there who are comfy to take their lady’s toy and play her with it, you know what I’m talking about and you are fully aware of the beautiful, spraying results that come.

You dudes that don’t… tsk tsk tsk…

All I can say is that you are missing out.

 

Pay attention during masturbation time, man the fuck up and take the toy away from her and learn it and, for the love of God, stop thinking of her toys as your enemy…

 

Be like John Witherspoon in Boomerang – REVERSE IT!

 

BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!

 

By

 

Mr Oh  

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Tatiana Blue interview

Who are you?

Tatiana Blue, the world’s greatest shoe thief extraordinaire and, not to blow my own horn but, sexy as fuck too. Dreadlock rocking, over 60, 000 pairs of shoes stolen, all round chick ya chick wants to lick… yeah that’s me!
Toot toot!

Where did you come from?

What am I, a fucking alien? I’m from Stratford, east London. Born and raised. Technically I’m a figment of Mr Oh’s imagination but I live in Stratford. I’d rather not say where exactly because, well, you never know when Interpol is scanning blogs again.

Why do you steal shoes?

If you wanna know go and ask that prick Marcus why I steal shoes. You know that fucking ass fucking, fuck face of a human piece of shit…
And woooooooooooosah…
Sorry ’bout that… guess he still makes me angry after all this time. Even after seeing him again, I still wanted to tie him down, pour dry ice on his skin then go over him with some sandpaper.
Okay, back to the question…. why do I steal shoes? Well why not. Why wouldn’t I? If I can do it and get away with it, why the fuck not?
Over 60, 000 pairs of shoes stolen and never been arrested once!
That’s why I steal shoes… because I can. And I’m fucking the best at it.

Who’s Marcus?

Heheheeee… Who’s Marcus? What a piss taking question. You see I just almost fucking flipped out and then you ask me about him again.
We all know who Marcus is. If you read the book, you know who he is. He’s a prick is who he fucking is. Grade A fuck muncher. From what I read in the book, he should be arrested too. What he did to that chick must’ve broken a law or two.
But ya know what, fuck Marcus.
If you’re reading this Marcus, fuck you forever until you die!
That’s who Marcus is!

Favourite shoe?

Next question… I’m not even gonna bother…

Why not get a real job?

Like what? Security manager… done that already. Tesco? Done it… Foot Locker… done it… office job… done it… I’m done doing it.
I get to wake up and it’s about nothing but shoes. All day everyday.
If I don’t wanna get up and fly to Paris to pick up a few pairs of Louboutins then I stay in bed smoking weed and watching Love and Hip Hop or Real Househusbands of Hollywood. Because I can.
If you’re wondering how I manage to sustain myself by stealing shoes, well let’s just say there are ways of selling those extra pairs I pick up.
You’re job may take you on the central line, DLR, maybe even a bus but mine takes me to Las Vegas, Indonesia, New York, Milan, Bulgaria, L.A.
I am literally internationally known… and I love it.
Because I’m seriously that good at what I do. Think of Colombiana, but thicker with dreadlocks and that’s me.

Don’t you feel guilty about stealing?

Should I?

Okay… erm… Don’t you get bored of stealing shoes?

Ask any woman if she gets bored of high heels and expect the ‘stupid question’ face looking right back at cha…

What does the future hold for a shoe thief?

More shoes more shoes more shoes… *stupid question face here*
I’ve found out recently that after I expressly told him not to write about me anymore, Mr Oh went and researched my very first job and the fucker decided to write about it. But he’s doing a good job so far. I’m definitely gonna “edit” it though. And then, after that, I’m going to get my Russell baby back.

Who’s Russell?

*stupid question face*
You know damn well who he is so don’t play dumb. He’s the sexy chocolate that changed my life.

What do you plan to do with all the shoes you’ve stolen?

Keep ’em. These are some stupid ass questions.

Where do you keep them all? Your shoes.

Two flats, four apartments and two houses. London, Belgium, Jamaica, New York, Manchester and just bought a new house in the Hamptons. Huge basement. Purrrrfect.

Where can people find you?

Well really if a thief is good enough then you won’t find ’em. But unfortunately because Mr Oh wanted to dry snitch on my life in a story called FootSoles and PantyHoes in his book, now I’m immortalized in some shit.
I’m smarter now though… but seriously no more writing about me.

I’ll see what I can do

No you’re gonna do as your told and not write about me any more, do you hear me?

Erm, there’s no way in hell your gonna come in my blog and start talking shit to…

PFFFTT…

You know me Mr Oh so you know the types of things I could do to you, especially as that tranquilizer dart starts to take effect.

Did you just… Zzzzzzzz…

Thanks for the interview Mr Oh… we’ll do this again sometime when your mouth and your attitude doesnt get you fucked up!

image

Leave a comment

Filed under Little Black Book Trilogy