Tag Archives: pussy

Do submissives exist?

He’s sitting there.
Or maybe he’s not depending on how you run your thang.
Maybe you’ve already put him to work.
Maybe you just like the idea of having him around before he gets to his true purpose for being with you.
After a moment, the mood in the air has changed from watching an episode of Csi to having him between your thighs while you’re looking down, watching him with his tongue extended making feather touches on your clit.

Have you ever met such a person? Or as they’re officially called Submissive pussy eaters.
I wrote a blog on such a subject two years ago on my blog Submissive pussy eaters and since then, have things changed?
Are there more men out there who are making themselves solely available for the purpose of eating you out?
Are the women of today still suffering the likes of Mr Non-eater or even worse sub-standard head that makes you think “you might as well have not bothered.”

Would you say you’re hearing from friends or experiencing yourself the experience of a submissive who you have an agreement with where the only thing they go there to do is eat you out?
They could come round and sit with you and just chill before you stop proceedings and just pull down whatever you have on and just say… “Heeeeeeeey, its that time? ”

Have you met such a person? Are you still suffering?
Or are you secretly enjoying the sweeting, no stringing, lip smacking, clit shining, head grabbing, eye contacting, dirty cursing, thigh kissing, eye rolling, tongue lashing, dominating, face cumming, no stopping head and keeping this lil piece of information to yourself?
Not telling anyone because you don’t want your dirty little secret to get out? (Little Black Book readers see what I did there…)

Do YOU have a submissive pussy eater in your possession?

Question by

Mr Oh

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Who has to work the hardest for supreme intelligence, men or women?

Image

 

There’s no lengthy intro or fancy words to describe what the hell this blog is about.

This is a simple, straight to the point question.

 

Who has to work the hardest when it comes to head; men or women?

 

This was a random thought I had when I was fighting through writer’s block and couldn’t string two words together.

I was thinking about oral sex, as per usual, and I could picture a man giving a woman some brilliant cunnilingus and then, on the other screen in my head, I could see a woman giving a man what can only be called the ‘Lethal’ treatment (shout out to Lethal Lipps with all that spit and shit).

 

And I thought, who has to work harder for the pleasure?

Is it women who have to measure up and work out how they’re gonna take the dick to the jaw or is it men, who have to analyze and formulate a plan of pussy attack before orgasms curl down their moustaches?

For me, this is an interesting question because when it comes to that goooooood intelligence (that’s slang for oral sex, just for you uneducated), you need to know what it is your partner likes.

You need to know HOW your partner likes.

You need to know what works best and what levels of best you should apply with your mouth.

You need to know what makes your partner’s chest rise and fall with no trouble at all.

 

But, when it comes to doing the damn thing with your lips and your tricks, it’s not as easy as it appears to be.

So, I’m gonna look at both sides and, at the end, come to a decision (pardon the pun) and say who has to work the hardest with their mouth for an orgasm. In my own opinion.

You may agree, you may disagree, you may be disgusted, you may lick your lips and suddenly feel in the mood to have your lower middle tickled just a little… let’s see…

 

So… let’s start with the ladies…

 

DO MY LADIES RUN THIS… nah, let’s not do that!

Ladies, let’s start with you.

When it comes to head, your quest for intelligence lies at the end of a blowjob.

The old dick in the mouth something.

 

When done right, it can be as good as actual intercourse and when done DAMN right, it can forgo the intercourse and make him buss and have to issue a “this has never happened before” type of apology.

But what about the giver of such knowledge? What about her battle to get her man to the happy place, which is either happy enough that he knows you’ve got skills, hard enough that he’s ready to fuck or wet and shrunk enough that he is laying there trying to catch his breath as an orgasm took him by surprise?

A woman will tell you that giving head isn’t as easy as they make it look. To us men, it looks like it’s as simple as bob, weave, dip, swirl, purse of the lips, lick, etc. but there’s a fair bit they have to take into account. Such as the size of the dick they’re about to conquer, the sensitivity, even the man himself is a factor.

Dicks are not easy to deal with. They grow, they shrink, sometimes they’ll blow before you know it.

But let’s start at the initial ‘suck’ part.

Not easy at ALL, especially if your one of those women with a small mouth and your facing a rather large dick before you.

If you have a generally medium-sized mouth and, in your sexual career, you’ve been known to deepthroat 8 inches with ease, you still have a lot to deal with. If you’re blessed with a disrespectful pair of full lips and the ability to deepthroat more length than he owns, you’ve still got a lot on your plate.

He could be a rough throat fucker, maybe he wants you to take it all the way down your throat and your only used to taking it up to your tonsils.

Maybe he likes his dick suck wetter than a beach towel in a tsunami and you can only muster up a battery-sized amount of spit.

Maybe he wants you to drop techniques only seen in porn, while your style is more Tulisa than Italia Blue.

Maybe he likes his balls licked and you think they look like weird meatballs and you don’t wanna do it.

And then there’s lockjaw… and that just sucks ass in general, no ladies?

 

There’s a lot to sucking a dick.

A lot of work, breathing techniques, wretch holding, hand twisting and multi-tasking involved and that’s before she has to deal with what to do with the orgasm once it arrives.

Does she swallow, does she not, does she take it to the face, does she take it on her breasts or does she bend the dick back and make him cum on himself?

It’s a big decision.

A big decision for a big moment.

Cuz dicks… they ain’t easy to take, orally that is.

 

 

But then, on the OTHER side of it, there’s the work that the men have to put in when it comes to cunnilingus.

The moment between a woman’s thighs.

For a man’s quest for supreme intelligence, he has to have his head game on a hundred, thousand, trillion as Kanye would say.

 

When it comes to giving a woman head, there is a LOT a man has to take into account. It’s not just about opening her legs and putting your mouth where you see a button.

She may not necessarily like her button dealt with in that way.

Maybe she wants her pussy fucked with a tongue.

Maybe she likes fingers added with a particular degree of moisture.

Maybe she wants single laps up and down with her lips held open.

Maybe she wants to hold your head and direct you.

Maybe she likes being able to face fuck you while calling you a ‘dirty fucker’.

 

Maybe she wants to do all those things and more… but, you have to be ready. And you have to be adaptable.

You have to be able to react and listen to her, respond to what she likes, repeat the thing that made her back arch and be willing to search for more.

And also fight off the lockjaw AGAIN.

 

(Head ain’t head until someone gets lockjaw!)

 

Then you have to make her cum. Now if you’ve decided to go down on a woman then you HAVE to make her cum from it.

That’s the unwritten rule!

You don’t go to Costco and leave with a plastic bag of items, you leave with boxes. As many as you can take!

With so many zones of enjoyment in and around the vagina, you have to learn, and learn quick, what she likes to the point that her hips rise and fall because it’s started to feel that good. When you find it and you work it, you could be there for seconds or double figure minutes.

That’s the roll of the dice that comes with cunnilingus.

 

 

Now, in my opinion, who has to work the hardest for that SUPREME intelligence?

No disrespect to women and the work they have to put in when it comes to slurping and burping on a man’s Melvin but you have it easy in comparison to men.

 

And I’ll tell you why.

 

Women, you have one straight, up standing piece of work ahead of you, and two small assignments hanging below. Because of the shape of the upstanding piece of work and the two small assignments, you don’t have to venture far away from a repetitive movement on any of the three.

You know any part of his dick you touch with your mouth is generally gonna make him feel like its all good in the hood.

Working your mouth in a sweet, delicious way will be the medicine for his sickness.

Sucking the head with a bit of a slurp sound will make him harder than he ever thought possible.

A deepthroat all the way to the base of him will make his dick venture past your mouth and into your throat, and that’s a whole different type of feeling.

Maybe a bit of a gag sound, maybe a whole LOT of a gag sound could help.

Add saliva from a wet mouth and the inclusion of hands and ladies, you LITERALLY have men by the balls.

You know you’ve got that easy work when you blow him for five minutes or less and he’s blowing harder than Chinese math.

That’s that woman who found a way to give maximum pleasure with minimal effort.

Not knocking ya at all.

In fact GOD BLESS YA!

But you DO have it easier.

 

Men? *sigh*

 

We DO have a task on our hands sometimes, don’t we?

That lockjaw kicks in like a muuug and you have to find an adaptive style that helps rest ya jaw but keep the pleasure coming.

It takes a hot minute to find that EXACT move or combination of moves that makes it feel the way it should.

Unlike the phallus of man, woman is built with a sugar-walled reception area, equipped with a button that likes to be pressed but only a certain way. Inside this reception area are lovely walls lean on and touch and, if you have the tongue length, you reach the place deep inside the reception room that only most dicks reach.

If you work it wrong, it can instantly close up and monkey wrench anything further between you. You know what I mean when she has to reach down and show you how it should be done. And not showing you in the sexy way either. I mean that annoyed way where you can damn near hear her huffing and puffing in frustration cuz you’re just not getting it. And that never feels good.

Of course it bruises the ego!

We’re men, and we’re proud and we think that if we are eating your pussy, we have the skill and the ingenuity to work around until we enter the right combinations to unlock an orgasm.

She may like it this way…

That way…

Front ways…

Back ways…

Softly…

Nibbled just a lil bit…

Licked hard…

Feather like touches just over the hood of her clit…

She may need that bullet motion where you keep as much pressure on her clit with your tongue as possible… then hum.

Maybe she likes her clit enveloped between two fingers while gripping a nipple, tonguing her pussy jussssssst inside and to the right while humming The Cosby Show theme tune.

Or the classic straight fuck the pussy with your tongue and try and get it in as far as you can!

 

Who knows, the possibilities are endless.

 

As much work as it CAN be to find the right grooves for the song, its still a pleasurable experience and, when done right, can be enjoyed more by the eater than the plate of food writhing in ecstasy.

There is nothing more GRRRRRRRREAAAT than making a woman cum using your mouth. Then have her look down at you like, “well where the hell did THAT come from?”

Maybe you get the audio, moaning, shuddering then breathing heavy version but the message is the same.

 

Really, it doesn’t matter how hard either sex works when it comes to delivering that supreme intelligence, as long as they are willing to put in whatever work is necessary to get the job done. Whether that job is simply pleasing, warming up for something else, cumming or just to fill the time, put that work in.

 

Represent with your mouth and supply that SUPREME INTELLIGENCE!

 

BUT…

I did also hear bisexual women apparently give THE best head so maybe that just negates my whole blog…

Damn women… always gotta win!

 

 

So says

 

Mr Oh

 

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Ode to a fat pussy

Fat pussy

This blog was inspired by @Anne_Arts

If you find one, keep it, cherish it… put it in a glass case that says “BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”.

Lock it up, tie it down to something, make sure there’s mouse traps around it so it can’t go anywhere.

Get on some Indiana Jones adventure to find it and put it in a museum, wipe it up, lick it down and kiss the ting… make it a big lipped kiss.

Dunno bout you, or you, or him, but GOOD GAWD, if it ain’t fat, it’s gots to go… (really though, a dude who is close enough to the pussy to find out if its fat or skinny wouldn’t necessarily send it home).
But if you’ve ever met a fat pussy in your life; a real chunky, thick, full lipped, curving over the sides, printed in any jeans, leggings, trousers or skirt or dress kinda thing, then you know the allure.

As a man, and well-known pervert and people watcher, over time, I’ve seen my fair share of chunky monkeys (both in public and between the sheets) and I mean…. damn, even to see them covered by clothes is just a mouth-watering experience.
I mean, watch a fat pussy woman walking in a pair of leggings that snuck a little too high… high enough that they print pon the ting… WOOOI YOOOOOIIII…

Okay, lemme wipe my mouth and focus…

It’s not just the sight of a buff ting that men, and women, enjoy. It’s the touch, the feel, the lines and shape of it…
Ya ever seen a pussy so fat or thick that you just wanna grab it and just feel the meat of it under your fingers?
No… just me? Ok… moving on… swiftly…

It’s not like a fat pussy is different from a slim one… All the twists and turns are the same, the dead end roads are the same but the COMFORT of the ride is where the difference kicks in.

Fuck a fat pussy… see what the drive is like.
Get yaself into it and see how smooth the gears are.
Check out the brakes and really take it out on the road.

Believe me, there’s nothing like it.

For head givers, fat pussy is the BESTTTTTTTTAAAAH!
It’s probably what kissing Lethal Lipps is like.
If you’re one of those folk who like to kiss their way down a woman’s body, then you’ll find a gift at the end of a fat pussy.
Even before you get to the clit, you get to kiss the fatness. And us head lovers LOVE that!
By the time you get to the pussy, and you get to open the lips, hold them back and, as you hold ’em, a whole piece of meat creeps over ya fingers… then you got a fat pussy in ya grip.
You see those moments when you have ya tongue in a fat pussy and the lips crush over ya face like a straw in an earthquake? YUMMY…

I’m trying to finish this blog but my mouth is leaking…

Okay… I can’t concentrate…

FOCUS DAMMIT…

(Ice cream… chunky monkey…)

A fat pussy is best when it’s seen AND fucked…
Case in point:

Let’s start at the beginning… if you have a woman laying on her back, happy as Larry, with her legs in the air, not only do you get the pleasure of watching a pair of fat lips spread apart, you also get to watch them come back together. And ain’t NOTHING sweeter than seeing that shit… brothers (and my bi-sexual sistas) can I get an AMEN?

An addition to that position is when you put her legs on your shoulders and have the pleasure of looking down at her thighs squeezing two lips, look like Lethal Lipps (and if you’ve seen her lips, you know she got some big ass lips).

Same goes for when you turn her on her side, have her thighs on top of one another, have a peek round… fat pussy says hi.

Now doggystyle is when a man likes to play with a real handful or two of pussy. You know when he takes that slow moment before sliding it in and he takes the head of his dick and just runs it up and down before sliding it in? He’s enjoying watching those lips separate. I mean, who wouldn’t?

And that’s just a few… there’s tons of positions and random moments when you’re NOT having sex that a fat pussy is a joy to be around.
Like when she’s asleep, and the covers just HAPPEN to fall off her sleeping frame. She’s on her back, oblivious to the world, but her panties have bunched up nice and snuggly around her and, for a head giving, clit licking maestro, he will feel hungry in a heartbeat.

Or the moment when she’s walking in some boy shorts and it’s like you can SEE through them, it’s such a print.

Really, as the saying goes, pussy is pussy…
Dunno who came up with that actually… it’s pretty self-explanatory.
Some people like their vaginas thick, round and with beats by the pound and some people like ’em slim, trim and straight from the gym.
And the rides differ from woman to woman.

But for those chunky lovers, you know what you like and why you like it.
Maybe it’s the idea that the fatter the pussy, the better the ride. And that’s not necessarily true.
Guess you have to find a good one and make those Lethal Lipps talk.

*** Just on a side note, I’m not saying Lethal Lipps has a mouth like a vagina, but just saying that my girl has some big ass lips.

By Mr Oh

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I will but will you?

(Thanks to the amazing, hella fine, Kool and the gang, hook a brother up with a 3 day pass @SexySecret09 for the idea…)

So it’s another night.
You and your partner are together.
Ya warm and all agreeable and shit.
At a point where fingers are fiddling, eyes are meeting and speaking, your libidos are raging and there is nothing else to do except get it on.
Her bra goes this way, his boxers go that way…
His resolve goes out the window and her restraint was left at the front door.
It’s HOT now and nervous fingers become busy and focused on the lecture at hand.
The first kiss is electric.
Your damn near singing H-Town’s The Rain in your mind.
His hands on the small of your back is just what the doctor ordered.
She masturbating him all nice and wet.
It’s about to do DOWN…
Her thighs are too and fro.
His dick is up and more than ready to rock and roll…

Then…

It happens.

The inappropriate question. The gesture for a step in the wrong direction that makes you feel not so sexy anymore.

“Babe, will you eat my ass?”

“Can I spray whipped cream in your pussy and eat it out?”

Erm… I’m sorry, WHAT?!

Right now, your laying there, hot and bothered, really to play Super Mario and get that pipe or you are up standing and ready to feel her warmth but your Empire State Building becomes an instant limp shack.

You don’t know where the question came from, you don’t even know why in the hell they asked such a question, especially at that time, but now you’re staring at a dilemma.

Do you?!

You may say no straight away but, that could be the way to get yourself out of a bed situation and into a ‘maybe you’d be more comfortable at your own house’ situation.

Those questions above are only examples of the situation I’m referring to, but, in bedrooms everywhere, someone is requesting something that their partner may not be into, has never done before or something that made them screw up their face like, “ewwwwwww!”
But what do you do then?
After the initial ‘what the fuck’ moment has passed, what do you do next?
Do you do it? Or do you not? Does it depend on the act itself? Does it depend on the person asking? Does it depend on the WAY you’ve been asked? Or will you just plain refuse because you are strong in your principles and no amount of persuasion will change that?

One word for ya: experiment.

I’m not saying that if a woman wanted you to eat her ass or a man wanted to spray whipped cream from a can in your pussy and eat it out that you should let them in the name of experimentation. But, don’t shoot it down so quickly… (pardon the pun)

Take ya time… think about it… let the idea marinate for a minute.

It maybe the case that you have never done the act before and you are highly sceptical about what it will feel like, look like and even how your partner will react.
But take that chill pill and just relax… smoke a spliff if that’s your vice. (Even if it isn’t do it anyway, lol.)

THEN DO IT!

Live a little for crying out loud…

Open your mouth and swallow if you never have, slow ease into her ass if she’s asking you to put it there, if he wants you to spit on his dick with huge globs of spit, do it… what have you got to lose.
The person asking you is asking for a reason. So really, the main thing for YOU to get over is can you do it?!
Can you swallow it up and get over whatever it is in your head that is stopping you from doing it?

Some people are stubborn and hard-headed to the point where if someone suggests something between the sheets, they won’t want to do it… just because it has been suggested to them… like the suggestion is a knock against their sexual prowess.
If they came up with the idea themselves, then they’d work it like it. But to suggest something to them makes them hard headed.

Case in point: if Donald tells his friend Eli how to FUCK his own girlfriend (I can’t think about a situation where this type of convo would take place), Eli might not really wanna try the suggestions out. To Eli, it’ll feel like he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he might not try ’em. BUT… he may try them in small individual doses and, if they work, he’ll claim them as his own.

Sex is give and take, sometimes you gotta give, sometimes you gotta take. (That’s the Cosby Show advice)
Sex is supposed to be some beautiful thang, with twists and turns, wild rides, smooth strolls and humming verses of Jill Scott’s Crown Royal.
Requests may pop up that have never been put on the table before but, if they do, don’t be closed minded about it.
Think about it, take it into consideration.
Remember the person asking you is asking for a reason… there could be a hidden, mammoth, squirting orgasm at the end of that yellow brick road. But because your so stubborn and old school, you won’t even want to try.

If your not one of those people who is even open to try, thus your partner doesn’t even ask, then you will have an unhappy partner who may want to do something but is too scared to ask.

The tagline for my trilogy of Little Black Book is open ya eyes, mind and thighs…
So open all three…

You JUST might like it…

So says Mr Oh…

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Such a simple sentence

There is something about it.

The idea of it plays with your mind and to see it is like when you watched Seven and found out that it was his wife’s head in the box,

Basically, it leaves your mouth open.

Every freaking time.

There is no way a woman can say this to you and you don’t think to yourself, “DON’T LIE!”

It is a powerful sentence that, once said, can completely change the complexion of an evening, or even a single moment in time.

You could be doing one thing, hear this sentence, and completely forget what you were doing.

Women have mouthed these words from a distance and fucked up a dude’s train of thought.

Your good good friend from way back, the friend who you’ve never looked at in that way can say this to you and turn a friendship into some next shit.

All because she said those words to you.

Sometimes they can make you react quite wildly, and possibly rip something in return. But it’s not your fault, it’s hers.

ALL hers.

She couldn’t keep her mouth shut could she?

You could’ve gone quite well without knowing and now it’s all you can think about.

But she knew that.

Why oh why did she have to tell you she wasn’t wearing any underwear?

Why?

Now you’re head is clouded.

You could’ve been in the middle of a sentence and she said that to you and now you can’t remember WHAT the hell you were saying.

Or worse, she could’ve showed you!

Oh God, don’t let her do that!

Women, at times, wear clothes that fortunately look or feel better without underwear. VPL is the enemy of women and to avoid such a bastard on their swag, women will go without any underwear on.

Usually with dresses, skirts, etc. but also with trousers, jeans (ahhh, I do love a good camel) and tracksuit bottoms (with the loose elastic so you could slip a hand right down there and… WOOOOSAAAAH)

But she’ll wait until she is wearing something that will allow you to possibly find out whether or not she is telling the truth.

I’m telling you, if you’re a guy reading this, you know what I mean. If you’re a bi-woman you know what I’m talking about.

Fuck it, if you’ve ever looked at a woman and thought, ‘yessur I would’ then you know what I’m talking about.

So crafty a sentence, it is also a statement of intent.

Don’t think she told you that because she just felt like ‘sharing’.

*Bernie Mac voice* That’s bawlshit!

There is never a time a woman will tell you that she isn’t wearing any panties in order to make her more aerodynamic on the dancefloor.

Or she is panty-less in order to let her brand new tramp stamp tattoo heel.

That’s crap, crap and thong-less crap!

If a woman tells you she’s got nothing on underneath her outfit, you best to know you have carte blanche to find out.

  • In a restaurant.
  • In a club.
  • At home watching TV.
  • Sunday dinner with the parents.
  • Extra long queue at Tescos.
  • A changing room in Primark.
  • The movies.
  • Anywhere.

What such a sentence does is that it makes you feel like you HAVE to know whether or not it is true.

And the finding out is the next part of the fun.

You may go straight for a cheek massage to find out quick and easy, you may go a little further up to check for a thong but you like to know then and there.

A more fun way is to take it slow with it.

Let her know with your touch that you are going to find out… you’re just gonna be slow with it.

  • Start with a single hand on the small of her back.
  • Run your hands along her waist, feeling for the elastic of underwear.
  • When you feel nothing, which you hopefully should, return to the small of her back. A thong triangle usually sits there.
  • If it ISN’T then she just might have been telling the truth.
  • She might actually have no underwear on.
  • You might have to go for a cheek caress to find out.
  • Best technique is slide a hand down from her back straight down the middle and then across a cheek of your choice.
  • What your hoping to feel is nothing but smoothness all the way do to her thigh.
  • A little eye contact between you should ensue because, at this point, you both know that there is only one other way for him to find out whether or not you are telling the truth.
  • One conclusive, definite way to find out if you are walking the talk.

That hand is gonna have to wander to warmer climates.

All this should transpire in about a minute but the thoughts that that 60 seconds feeds is enough to keep you going until you are able to REALLY do something about it.

The mind fuck of it all is what makes it so sweet. Because she already knows whether or not she is lying but you don’t.

And she enjoys watching you find out.

And he enjoys trying to find out.

If you’ve proclaimed yourself panty-less, your hoping he’ll get close enough to find out anyway so it’s all moo (see: Joey from Friends)

The sweet simplicity of such a sinfully saccharine sentence is what it does to the mind.

Especially if it is dropped appropriately… or inappropriately as the case maybe.

I say inappropriately because the true freaky people out there know about the sexual pleasure that can be found in being able to tease someone in an environment where they are not able to do anything about it.

Strolling the aisles of Tescos on a Friday night, doing the weekly shop isn’t the place to whisper that you are not wearing any underwear as you bend over to pick up a bag of Basmati rice… but what you’ve done is made him watch your thighs, trying to find out if you are or not. But it may not necessarily be appropriate to be groping each other in Tescos on a Friday night with families and shit all over the place.

But she knew what she was doing when she that.

She wanted to fuck with you.

Or, and this one is a REAL mind fuck, she tells you over the phone.

AAAAAAAHHHH…

Since teleporatation hasn’t be scientifically proven to be fincially viable on the NHS, them words over the phone are just unnecessary.

A general description of something your wearing over the phone sucks because you can’t do anything to see it… unless it becomes picture, or better yet, video call time.

I mean, think about the last time you heard a woman say to you, I’m not wearing any underwear.

Women may hear that all the time. To them, they can be going raving and be ready to walk out of the house and look in the mirror and see a VPL… then just slide the panties off, step out of them and put them in the purse like it’s nothing.

To a man, that’s a sexy ass thing to be in the presence of.

It’s not that we don’t know what you look like naked, but it’s the idea that your nakedness is covered to the world, but the private part of you is just… out…

With one lift of the back of your skirt… that’s all it would take…

Wanna make a man crazy without doing much?

Tell him you’re not wearing any underwear.

In fact try it out…

Randomly…

Pick someone in your phone and just text, tweet or message them and say ‘I’m not wearing any underwear…’ and you pretty much know the response your going to get.

As I said, it is such a crafty sentence because, between women, it is said in the tone of, ‘they were bothering me so I decided not to wear any.’

So off-hand, so meh…

What men hear is, ‘so my booty is right here and my pussy lips are sliding together all exposed… all you have to do is have a look.’

It’s weird to say this but a beautiful woman somehow becomes sexier when she chooses not to wear underwear and then tells you about it like it’s the explanation to the numbers in Lost (and I STILL don’t know what they are…)

That it is a secret that only you and her share.

You could be in a house party, just chilling, drinking, music is playing, joke is flowing, it’s all good.

You get up to get a drink, bend down to ask her what she’s wants to drink, thinking ‘yeah she’s looks good tonight’ then she pulls you close and tells you her drink order. You get YOUR drink first then she walks up to you, takes your drink then says, ‘I’m not wearing any panties tonight’.

Where are your eyes?

Where did you look as she walked away?

Exactly, you watched that walk with heavy concentration like it was CCTV footage.

What can you see?

What can’t you see?

Is she really not wearing any panties?

To really kick you while your down, she sits back down and folds her leg with the dirtiest smile before taking a long sip of your drink.

That woman is inciting you to do some shit!

Such a crafty sentence. Panty-less simplicity even.

Remember when Samuel Jackson ate the boy’s burger in Pulp Fiction, looking at him like, you can’t do shit and you know it.

That’s what that move was.

You don’t realise that she had you as soon as she whispered in your ear.

It was a like a slap in the face ‘cuz now, all that is on your mind is… *with a head tilt*

Is she?

By Mr Oh

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Slippery when wet

  

So, your a guy, you’ve managed to finagle your way into a ‘just about to get a blowjob situation’.

Your jeans are down at your ankles, maybe one foot is out and your able to spread your thighs REAL open so you can let them right between your thighs and into the GOOD space where they can get to the microphone and sing to their hearts content.

Her hair is to the side and she is staring at your dick like the secret to the Matrix is in it. Sitting at your perch, watching her, your ready, willing and able to get it in.

And then…

She proceeds to give you the driest, crispiest, chapping, crusty blowjob you have ever had. You might think she is trying to light a camp fire the way she is chaffing your dick. And the worst thing is, it somehow gets drier.

LADIES, your on your back, your panties are down and off, or your so hungry that you couldn’t wait to take them off and you just hooked them to the side. You’ve been primed and prepared for a tongue lashing of epic proportions; your adjusting your hips to make sure that he puts it down the way you WANT and need him to when….

Lo and behold, he sucks you dry.

And not in the good way.

Not in the good way where he sucks your pussy so well that you keep coming and coming until you are bone dry and feeling a little dehydrated.

OH no no no…

He sucks you dry in a way where any liquid that comes out of you gets sucked up and swallowed. It’s like having a Dyson between your thighs.

Until your dry.

Sahara desert.

So dry he runs his tongue up through your lips only to get stuck halfway through.

No no nooooo…

Why would you do that?!

What’s the matter with you? He doesn’t like it and neither does she.

How you gonna suck someone dry?!

Ewwww…

That sucks, pardon the pun.

You should be working with the opposite. You should be slurping that woman down or slobbing him up.

Either way, you need to get with it, if your not already.

Don’t be scared of a little wetness in your head. In fact, the wetter the better.

Not everyone will agree with that but they won’t say no either. Maybe they will and will only put a sheen on the dick or make a skinny saliva string or one quick slurpy sound on your clit.

Head, oral sex, brain, becky, sloppy top, ‘special attention’, whatever you wanna call it is GREAT.

It can be the start of some shit, the middle of some shit, the thang to do after a good amount of time in one position or you just might wanna do it instead of having sex altogether.

Whatever your doing with it, you gotta do it right.

And ladies, if your sucking the dick and not making it wet, and he’s not asking you to make it wetter, then you have a silent man on your hands. Or he’s scared or too nervous to ask. Or you may think your head game is so LETHAL, he doesn’t have the heart to tell you otherwise.

You, as the head giver, may start to feel like the proceedings are starting to feel slightly porn-ish but, that’s not yours or his fault.

That’s porn’s fault.

If you hear him say something like, ‘yeah… make it wet…. make it nasty’ you may THINK you hear Wesley Pipes but the thing with that is that Wesley’s preference of head seems to feel REAL damn nice.

I mean, dudes, fellas, brahs, have you ever had a blowjob from a woman that has just been so damn SUPER sloppy that you wished you never watched her do it?

Or ladies, how about you?

Have you ever had a man get down and lick you out, swallow your delivery and then slob up and down your pussy with a mix of you and him between your thighs?

You know head so damn WILD and sloppy that when the woman left your life or found herself a man, you felt slightly jealous like, ‘he’s getting some GOOD head there’.

You may go into a flashback about the last time she opened her mouth above your helmet and let out a long stream of bubbly saliva that landed and dripped down your shaft, through her fingers and onto your balls.

Or that time when he, the bald-headed brother with the devilish smile and all the talk, had you coming on his face, riding your hips on him, screaming at him like he fucked with your life. Remember?

Remember when you came and he began leaving saliva, and your come, all over your pussy lips, inner thighs and the bed below?

(Take a moment to remember the last person who gave you THAT treatment.)

If you don’t remember either of those times then you have not been treated right or you have not TREATED someone right.

I mean, COME ON SON…

You mean you’ve never taken that deepthroat and slobbed back on the dick on its way out?

Never given that extra sloppy lick to a clit under your control?

It increases the feeling of the mouth on your bits, it allows said mouth to SLIDE on your bits (and wet sliding mouth is the SHIT) and when your being masturbated, wetness is a NECESSITY.

Getting or giving that wet head is not just about ‘making it nasty’, it’s also about you being comfy enough with the groin in front of you to be able to let out that thick glob of saliva that will soak up his shaft. OR that lick of spit that will start at her clit and work its way down…

(Just FYI- when it gets to her pussy opening, stick ya tongue in with it and make that pussy wet just in case you wanna stick it…)

Saliva isn’t something to be played with or treated like something you either have or don’t have.

It should always be on the menu.

For men, saliva during some SPECIAL attention will, 8 times out of 10, make him come. For women, it will make things slippery and slightly more erotic for him to throw his face into.

Either way, however you do what you do when you do what you do, make sure you do that do with the best of you…

Treat it like a movie shoot.

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Strong grip around ya neck

 

You could be young, old, black, white, funny, ugly, mash up, funky faced, fine as all outdoors, as nasty as Marmite or you could just have a weird body shape.

But the desire to be strangled, choked or refused air while receiving some buttery goodness is a feeling shared by quite a few.

Some aren’t even willing to admit they like to be choked or strangled a little bit. But they do!

Maybe not to the extend where their eyes start popping out of their head and they start changing colour but, you know, a little bit of a strong grip. A little stronger than you EXPECT to allow.

But it’s that danger aspect of it that makes you growl and grind that little bit harder or moan a little bit sweeter when you feel a hand around your throat, holding on for dear life.

People don’t really want to think of themselves as liking strangulation, it’s too close to S&M and if you know about that kinda ting (if you don’t holla at @pashunnate or check out her blog) you know the extent to which they will choke each other out. Sometimes to the point of unconsciousness.

For people today, it’s more common to have experienced, as a woman, a man building a nice flow behind you, doggystyle, with his hand creeping around your neck.

For a man, she may be on top, riding you HARD like she has an eraser in her pussy and you are just a pencil drawing waiting to be erased.

Her hands dig into your stomach, then raise up to your chest. Then, before you know it, her hands are around your neck and she is making a face at you like, ‘I could kill you if I wanted to’.

The thing is, the chokee is enjoying themselves so much, they might want you to squeeze a bit harder.

Maybe you do.

Maybe you don’t.

But SOMETIMES, they want you to just keep on squeezing.

(DO NOT get it twisted and try and give your girl a choke then squeeze too hard and blame my ass. Nuh uuhhh, no way boo boo…)

The sensation of being choked is supposed to heighten the pleasure you feel as you are deprived oxygen, especially if you are having an orgasm but your not really thinking that when your telling him to fuck you harder and you erupt in an orgasm but you sound like Stephen Hawking.

But please remember one important fact when it comes to getting all strong in the grip: choking isn’t for everyone. You could reach out and choke the wrong woman and she could jump up, dress up and have the police round, talking about pressing charges.

Or you could try and choke a guy, who takes that as a marker for the level of roughness you wanna get down with and proceed to try and LITERALLY ram you through the headboard.

And no pussy needs that.

Even though a lil choke during sex IS more common, you still have to be able to GAUGE whether or not the person in front of you doesn’t mind going there. For some people, it’s still a taboo thing to do and deemed too dangerous.

You can’t just be banging and choking everyone.

It’s interesting to think about the soft and hard ways to choke someone, but, there ARE ways to do something as raw as grab a neck in a caressing way.

But there’s also ways to put two hands around her neck and make her KNOW it’s going down.

With a woman on top, working into her own groove (that you should be observing and returning FYI), wait until she is at the stage where her hips are spinning. Or she’s hands in your chest and bouncing.

You SHOULD already have nipples in your hands anyway so that should make it easier for you to slowly travel up to her neck. Don’t squeeze straight away… just run your hands over her neck, her face, through her hair… make her FEEL!

The sensation of your touch should improve or speed her up. That’s when you slowly slide to her neck and give it a slow, gradual squeeze. She may get busier on ya, she may move ya hands or she may touch ya hands in a way that says ‘squeeze’ harder.

Eitherway, softly slowly wins the race and heightens the feeling of being touched and restricted.

Now, the ROUGH way, hardly needs explaining.

Any woman who has slept with her fair share of roughnecks, hood fellows or weed dealers knows how it goes down when he wants to take a MAN-SIZED grip of your neck.

Some of you caramel women may have found finger marks around ya necks the next morning, which usually leads to creative dress time the next morning in the mirror with a scarf, talking about ‘oh this old thing? I found it in my wardrobe and just put it on’.

Majority of men like to go for the classic choke hold position, doggystyle.

Men LOVE to be able to be fucked back.

That moment when they don’t have to move.

Your booty should have reverse lights and a beep sound that warns me you’re about to back it up.

You’re doing all the work.

He’s just a hard dick there for you.

And he’s there alright.

You find that you can’t seem to back it up any further… but you want it that little bit DEEPER.

Your ass is slapping against him.

He may already have his hands in your hair (if your hair is: A) real B) good strong weave)

You are looking at the ceiling.

Then the hand/s creep or sometimes just grab out for your neck.

The sensation of watching a woman fucking you back while your just hard and there with your hands wrapped around her neck while she moans louder and louder is like the breakdown in Michael Jackson’s Lady In My Life.

Basically, it’s the shit.

With some rough choking, you may also get the arm bar choke hold.

It’s like a classic choke hold with the bicep and forearm.

Done in doggystyle, he would probably be up close to your ear, whispering some NASTY shit while doing what he’s describing. You are listening and feeling and it’s all feeling real sexually sinister. Then comes the arm.

He’ll usually use it to hold you in place while he digs deep inna ya belly.

But he likes the idea of putting you in a Deebo-style choke hold while MAKING you take the dick.

It’s the BOMB DIGGY when she puts her head back, looks up and makes some sort of animal noise that makes him hold you that little bit tighter.

Where and HOW you wanted it.

Like I said before, choking is not EVERYONE’S cup of Disaranno. For some it’s a sensitive subject, for others, they don’t have sex without it.

But if you know the person, or have enough of an idea about the person, that you think you can try it, do.

DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM ENDORSING PEOPLE TO WALK AROUND JUST CHOKING PEOPLE, CLAIMING THEIR DOING IT FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. THIS IS FOR GROWN, MATURE FOLKS WHO KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND AREN’T STUPID ENOUGH TO CHOKE SOMEONE TO WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIFE THEN SAY ‘MR OH SAID I SHOULD DO IT.’ NOT ME BOO BOO, NO WAY, NUH UHHHHH…….

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